East of the Sun, West of the Moon: A Retelling
by Nina Leo
Summary: A modern day retelling of East of the Sun and West of the Moon: With Emilia's family's company in trouble she knew her happiness could be put on hold. However, Benjamin, a man with many secrets, is offering her a way to keep the life she loves, but only in exchange for her love; a love that could break his curse.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a modern day retelling of East of the Sun and West of the Moon. If you're unfamiliar with the tale it's similar to stories like Beauty and the Beast, which I've always loved, but I've always preferred this tale to it. There will be some more mature chapters later on (way later), so if you're uncomfortable with love scenes or the occasional swear word you may not want to read this.**

* * *

Having four perfect older siblings I was often overlooked by my parents and when the attention was on me I was seen as the black sheep. With my defiant nature, eccentric taste in clothing, and eclectic taste in music I didn't fit my family's idea of 'type A' norm. Sometimes I wondered if I was adopted, but since I closely resembled my siblings I eventually accepted the fact that I was just born to the wrong family.

I was never who everyone wanted me to be, even as a child. I was an adorable little girl and I think at first glance, seeing my angelic face and blond curls, people would have assumed I played with dolls and dressed up like a princess during playtime. However, when they saw me dressed in a black cape and chasing the other little girls around the playground with a menacing laugh they soon learned otherwise. I think my parents had hoped I'd grow out of this "odd phase", but I never did.

It was difficult growing up with four older siblings who were exactly who they were expected to be when I wasn't. They were all athletically and academically accomplished while I was disorganized and impulsive. However, I wasn't completely useless. My passion and talents were in art and design; specifically theater and costume design. So, rather than going to Business School after graduation, like all my siblings had done, I left for Art School three states away.

For three years, I lived on campus and only visited my family out of obligation. I could typically find an excuse to get out of most family gatherings, but there were times where my mother wouldn't accept my absence. One of these rare occasions came up during my spring break. My mother had called, summoning me to a mandatory family dinner, and told me that it was very important to show up in something respectable. Reluctantly, I canceled plans to go to my roommate Hannah's exhibit and hit the road, heading northeast. Looking back I wondered if I would have shown up had I known more about the true reason behind this gathering.

As I drove from California to Montana I prepared myself for the many questions I anticipated I would receive about my plans for the future. Unfortunately all my answers seemed childish and this made me wonder if maybe my family was right. Maybe I needed to switch majors and step into what they considered, _the real world._

I was so focused on making up adult replies in my head that I hadn't considered how long it had been since I had been home. It was as I saw the flash of brick through the trees and a faint puff of smoke coming out a chimney that I began to feel that old comfort of familiarity and realized I hadn't felt that way for about a year. Despite the differences I had with my family, home was still home, and the view of the rolling green hills made my anxieties fade away.

"I'll just go to the lake if I start to feel overwhelmed," I told myself. It was always my go to when I had enough of my parent's nagging or my siblings teasing.

But any warm fuzzy feelings I had quickly vanished as I saw a group of businessmen outside my parents house. Though I couldn't hear their conversation I could see from their worried brows and their shaking heads that whatever they were discussing was serious. Stepping out of my car I began to wonder if I had shown up on the wrong day.

My sister Cecile, who must have been watching for me, stepped out the front door and made her way toward me. After giving me a crushing hug, Cecile pulled away and gave me a once-over. "Look how much you've changed! I missed you so much."

"I haven't changed at all," I said as I tried to ignore the cluster of brooding businessmen and focused on my sister. "I've missed you too. How's married life?"

She shrugged. "It has its ups and downs. Greg isn't here. He gets in these moods and says he can't handle our family, but that doesn't matter. How's school?"

"It's great… just hectic. I'm glad to be on spring break." I looked around at the thawing Montana scenery. "Doesn't really feel like spring here though, does it?"

"Never does," she said glancing around, unimpressed, before returning her gaze back to me. Giving my braid a gentle tug she lightly chuckled. "Purple ends still, I see. I guess that's better than the kool-aid green hair you had when you were 14."

"It's not that big of a deal. The majority of it is my natural color," I mumbled self-consciously tossing my braid back. "Sooo, I thought we were having a family dinner."

"I guess mom meant the extended family," Cecile whispered looking over her shoulder at the businessmen. "Uncle Mickey is inside and a bunch of bigwigs from the company."

"What's going on?" I asked as I followed her inside the house.

"I'm not sure. I was just told by mom that the company is struggling and tonight's dinner might be a way to save it," she explained rather secretively. "So be on your best behavior."

"I'm not a kid anymore," I reminded her. "I can behave."

Cecile gave me a sideways look as if she wasn't ready to believe it.

"Darling!" I heard my mother's pleasant yet affirmative voice call. She gracefully approached, her chin-length blond hair bounced with each click of her heeled shoes, and her arms opened to me. After giving me a scrutinizing stare, she leaned in and gave me a hug that lacked maternal affection.

"Hey mom," I said giving her an awkward hug in exchange. "What's happening… like really happening here?"

My mother's expression became severe and she quickly dragged me off to the next room. The living room was mostly empty, apart from my brother Thomas, who barely acknowledge us. Seeing that he was watching football I knew I wouldn't get so much as a nod of greetings from him and I was glad of it. Thomas never seemed to have a kind word for me.

My mother gave one last glance around the living room before telling me, "There's been a problem with the business. We had an audit and could be suffering some legal issues, along with bankruptcy." She paused briefly as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I knew I should have been handling those accounts. Your brother Kris was way in over his head. Anyways, it's too late for that. Your grandfather and uncle are considering selling the company."

"Wow. Didn't everyone kind of expect that anyway?" I asked drily.

"Yes, but we thought we would have profited from it. With the way things are looking now, we'd all take a major loss, so we're trying to find investors to keep it going. For months, no one wanted anything to do with the business, but this man, Mr. uh… oh God, what was his name?"

"Mr. Rogers," Thomas laughed. Apparently, he had been listening all along.

"Yes, Mr. Rogers has shown interest, so he'll be joining us here, tonight," my mother explained.

"Mr. Rogers?" I repeated, smothering a laugh. "Do I have to call him that? Does he have a first name?"

"Of course he has a first name," my mother sighed, "But you need to show him respect, so call him Mr. Rogers."

"I think I'll just refrain from talking to him," I said pulling out a pack of cigarettes from my bag.

My mother's mouth went tight. "You're not smoking again, are you?"

"I quit, but I keep a pack around for moments like these," I said as I opened the door.

"It's going to ruin your complexion."

I rolled my eyes in reply and quickly shut the door behind me. After slipping out the back door of the house, I made my way through the yard and down to the lake. With winter still melting away the lake looked sort of like a giant slush and the beach around it had patches of muddy snow and dead grass. Even if it wasn't in its summer glory it still offered me some solace.

Despite my surrounding, it seemed impossible to find peace of mind. I knew what it could mean for my family if they decided to sell the business. My parents could lose their beautiful lakeside home and their retirement. My siblings would lose their jobs and possibly their own homes, causing their own families to suffer. But that's not worried me the most. I felt selfish for it, but I was more worried about the fact that my parents wouldn't be able to pay for my tuition.

With a frustrated groan I brought a cigarette to my lips and was prepared to light it, but was stopped.

"That's a bad habit," said an unfamiliar man's voice.

I slowly pulled the cigarette from my lips, studied it, and nodded. "It is and a disgusting one, but I do love that hit of nicotine."

I then turned around and saw the man that was approaching me. He looked to be about 65 to 70, had brushed back silvery white hair that cut off just at the nape of his neck, a hard wrinkled face, and a scruffy white beard. He stared at me with curious eyes before nodding at my shirt saying, "Good band. I saw them once in Seattle. Little old for your taste, aren't they?"

"Little young for yours," I retorted as I stuffed my un-smoked cigarette back into the pack.

"Touché," he said with a smirk as he joined me on the dock and stared out at the lake.

"What was your favorite song?" I asked testing him.

"Houses."

"That was a good one."

"And you?" he asked.

"Freak Scene."

"Nice choice," he said holding out his hand to introduce himself. "Benjamin."

I glared down at his hand before hesitantly taking it. "Emilia," I barely mumbled as I quickly pulled my hand away and stuffed it back into my sweater pocket.

"You should be wearing a coat," he observed.

"Don't try to offer me yours," I sneered. "That would be sleazy."

He chuckled. "Why's that?"

"Because men your age shouldn't be hitting on someone who's 21."

"I'm not hitting on you. Just trying to make friendly conversation." He moved his gaze off me and onto the water. "I tried to talk to one of the guys in there. I think his name was Thomas, but honestly, I might as well have been talking to the wall."

A laugh almost escaped me, but I quickly choke it back. "That's my brother and you're right. You might as well have been talking to the wall. I probably shouldn't say this, but I'm not sure that frat boy has any functioning brain cells left. I'm surprised he has a position at the company."

"I opened my mouth without thinking. I'm sure your brother has his strengths."

"Not really and it seems my other brother Kris doesn't either," I said in a drifting tone. Feeling ridiculous for opening up to a complete stranger about my family I tried my best to divert the conversation. "So, what do you do at the company?"

"Investments," he said with a sly smile.

"Investments?" I gulped and felt my face pale.

"Mmhmm."

I slowly turned towards him. "You're Mr. Rogers, aren't you?"

He laughed. "Yes, but please don't call me Mr. Rogers. Benjamin or Ben will do."

"Oh my god! Please don't tell my mom that you talked to me. She'll kill me if she knew I opened my mouth about... well, really anything."

"I won't tell her as long as you make me a deal," he said with a sparkle in his silvery blue eyes.

"Um, okay?"

"Don't open that cigarette pack again."

I pinched my lips together stubbornly and thought it over. I really wanted a cigarette, but setting my impulses aside, I nodded in agreeance.

"We have a deal then," he assured me.

"I'm going to go back to the house before anyone sees me down here with you and reports it to my mother," I said walking away from him backwards. "If she starts nagging at me I'll have to go back on our deal."

He waved me on. "I'll wait until I see you enter the house before heading back myself."

"Thanks." I gave him a nervous grin before turning and running my way back to the house.


	2. Chapter 2

During dinner I slumped down in my chair, moved my food around with a fork, and wished that Benjamin forgot I existed. It didn't seem to be a problem for everyone else, but Benjamin remained uninvolved in the conversations around him and more interested in me. I didn't appreciate his watchful eyes and I made this known by meeting his gaze with my narrowed glare. He grinned, amused, and eventually moved his gaze off me.

"So what do you think Benjamin?" Mickey asked after an hour of Benjamin's silence while everyone else talked business. "You've been so mysterious about this. Are you more interested in being a shareholder or having a partnership."

"Honestly, I'm hesitant. My family's company hasn't endeavored outside our businesses for many years, but being that your company is family owned as well… does make it more appealing. It would make it even more appealing if we were family."

"What do you mean by that?" asked my father as he cut into his steak.

Benjamin put his fork down and folded his hands together. "What I mean is I would only be interested if our two families joined."

"Like a marriage?" Mickey questioned. "What? You got a son or daughter you're trying to marry off? Everyone, apart from Emilia, is already in a relationship, but I doubt any son of yours would be interested in her."

I shot up in my chair. "Who said I'd be willing?"

"Maybe at another time that sort of arrangement wasn't out of the question, but the world's changed since you were young Benjamin," Mickey said lightly. "What else can we offer you?"

"Nothing else. I see no other benefit I could gain from entering a business with you, but this."

I gave Benjamin a hostile stare. "What the hell! I'm not agreeing to an arranged marriage with your son! This isn't the middle ages."

"I don't have any sons," Benjamin said calmly as he reached for his glass of water.

"What exactly are you asking, Mr. Rogers?" my father asked with a clenched jaw and the same hostile stare I had inherited.

"I wasn't wanting your daughter to marry any of my family members." Everyone's expressions melted into relief and I let out a held-in breath, but our shock was renewed when Benjamin added, "I was wanting her to marry me."

Mouths dropped and burning eyes flashed towards Benjamin.

"Maybe we're misunderstanding you, Mr. Rogers," my mother choked out. "You can't mean—you want to marry my 21-year-old daughter."

"That's exactly what I mean," he said casually.

Both my parents opened their mouths to feud back, but I jumped in before them. "Well, I'm not interested in you, you… old pervert!"

"You would benefit from this too Emilia," Benjamin said making an attempt to pacify me. "Your uncle told me you're attending Art School and that you want to become a designer. I would fund your tuition and whatever other expenses you have. I could even help you launch your first business and help you find contacts within the industry."

"You better stop trying to bribe my daughter," my father said through gritted teeth as he stood from his chair and pounded his hand on the table. "How dare you even suggest any of this!"

"Oh, calm down Casp," Mickey said with a nervous laugh. "It's not like she's 13. She's 21 and can make her own decisions."

At that, my mother stood from her chair and glowered at Mickey. "I think that you and Mr. Rogers should leave. What he is suggesting is disgusting. I will not sell my daughter to save this business."

If I hadn't been so outraged I would have been in awe over my parents defending me since they had never done so before.

With a sigh, Benjamin stood from his chair and walked around the table towards me. I was too stunned to say anything, so he took advantage of the moment and handed me a card. "If you change your mind, call me."

I did not take the card and too angry to speak I only glared at him as he laid the card on the table before me. He then said his goodbyes and left.

Everyone sat quietly at the table trying to understand what had just happened. My sister Liz stared wide-eyed at her plate, Cecile gazed at me sympathetically, Kris snarled into the distance while clenching his fist, Thomas looked as if he was ready to burst into laughter, and my parents looked sick. I wasn't sure what I was feeling. I had gone from furious to a state of numb shock.

* * *

I don't remember when I left the table, but I had somehow found my way to my old bedroom. After flopping on the bed I stared up at the ceiling trying to make sense of what had just happened, but there was no rational explanation. I was insulted and felt degraded, but a part of me felt guilt-ridden. I had the power to save the business. It was just unfortunate that it came with a price, a disturbing one at that.

I tried to replay the evening in my mind, searching for some way that I would have led Benjamin on or made him feel as though I would seem willing to agree to his proposition, but the only flirtation seemed to be on his end. Other than being cordial I couldn't think of one moment where I would have made him believe I was interested in more.

"What a weirdo," I muttered as I sat up in bed and re-braided my hair in an attempt to distract my anger.

As I always did every night I stripped down to my t-shirt and underwear before curling up under the covers, but I couldn't seem to get comfortable. After some tossing and turning I was prepared to give up on sleep all together, go downstairs, and make myself a pot of coffee. Getting out of bed I began searching through the drawers trying to find an old pair of pajama pants, but the only pair in there was from when I was 10.

"It seems mom couldn't wait to clear out my room." I frowned down at a pile of clothes on the floor. "I don't want to put on my jeans again," I whined as I walked over to the window.

The clouds from earlier still hadn't cleared away and without the light from the stars or moon the pitch black view was eerie, yet I still stayed there staring out. I'm not sure where my mind was at that moment, but I felt my anxieties being dimmed by the dreary calm outside. With heavy eyes I made my way back to bed, curled up under the covers, and finally fell asleep.

Having an artistic mind my dreams were always vivid, creative, and sometimes otherworldly, but the dream I found myself in seemed more lucid than usual. I was in the design studio of my fantasies and every detail seemed so real. There were body forms of every size, a shelves filled with bolts of every color of fabric, sewing machines on long tables, a drafting table, a computer with a graphics tablet, bins filled with supplies, and just about everything I would need to become a successful designer.

"This could all be yours," said a familiar voice behind me.

I turned with my arms crossed and a scowl on my face, prepared to see Benjamin, but standing in his place was a younger man of about 30. He had thick brown hair brushed back, a strong jawline with a scruffy beard, and sparkling blue eyes. He was gorgeous and for a moment I thought he was a man I dreamed up to take my fantasies a little further. But seeing his charming yet slightly naughty smile I began to recognize him.

As he strolled across the room towards me I nervously took a stumbling step back. Once he was before me there was no doubt in my mind that I knew the older version of this man.

I swallowed. "Benjamin?"

"What?" he smirked as he reached up to caress my blushed cheeks. "You thought I've always been an old pervert?"

I jerked my face away from his touch and took another two steps back, bumping into a table. "No. I knew you must have been a young pervert once."

He chuckled. "I'm not a pervert and I promise my intentions aren't to turn you into some trophy wife."

"You shouldn't have any intentions with me at all. You hardly know me."

Stepping forward he closed the gap I had created and gazed down at me seductively. "I know, but I'd like to know you."

"Here's the thing, you don't have to marry a person in order to get to know them. It usually happens the other way around," I said hesitantly lifting my eyes. Now that he was before me I could clearly see just how handsome he was and for a moment I wished dream Benjamin was the real Benjamin. I still wouldn't have married him, but… I may have been more open to the idea of getting to know him.

"I know what happened today was," he struggled to come up with the appropriate word, "Well, it was brazen to say the least. But I have no doubt in my mind that you're the woman I've been waiting many years for."

I remained unmoved by his declaration and lifted a brow at him. "And how many years is that exactly?"

"It doesn't matter how many years," he said with a falter in his confident smile. "What matters is that I want you to be my wife and I promise every day of your life I would make you happy."

I let out a snide laugh. "How do you know what makes me happy?"

"Isn't this what you want?" he asked gesturing to the room.

I shrugged and scanned the room. "It's my dream, so of course this is what I want." Returning my narrowed glare back to the man towering over me I added, "I'm just not sure how you ended up in it."

"Because I know you, Emilia," he said as if he fully believed it.

"Maybe you think you know me because of our brief conversation today, but I'm more than just a design student with great music taste. I make huge messes when I work. I'm not very good about doing daily things I'm supposed to, like taking a shower or doing the dishes. I procrastinate, I hate business talk, and look at me," I flicked the end of my braid that fell over my shoulder, "Purple hair," I lifted the hem of my shirt revealing a tattoo of the moon to the left side of my waist, "Tattooed. And my wardrobe consists of mainly band shirts. Honestly, besides the obvious age difference, I'm not a good fit for you."

"I think if you got to know me you would change your mind. Look, I wouldn't even expect anything out of you. All I ask is that you marry me. You will be helping your family and I would do anything for you. I would take you anywhere in the world you wanted to go and would give you all you ever wished for. You wouldn't have to clean a dish and you could make as many messes as you want."

"It's like you don't hear how insane you sound," I said ducking under his arm and stepping away from him. "Why though?" I asked. "Why me?"

"You may not realize this, but you have power over me," he said as he turned around and again came to stand before me. He met my eyes with a grave sincerity and brushed an escaped strand of hair behind my ear. "A sort of power I need."

"I don't have powers," I breathed as I again pushed away his hand. "But this is a dream so... it would make sense that an attractive guy would tell me all these things."

"It's more than a dream Emilia," he said solemnly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're really having this conversation. I don't know how, but somehow I'm here."

I gave him a cynical glare. "You mean in my head?"

"Is it that impossible to believe?"

"Yes, it is."

"I'll prove it to you."

"How?"

"Chose a word."

"Chose a word?" I repeated skeptically.

"Yes, chose a word and then call me tomorrow. If I know it then that should prove to you this whole conversation really happened between us," he explained.

"Fine," I said and walked around the room thinking it over. Once one came to mind I turned to face him with a quirked smile. "Rubbish."

"Rubbish?"

"My first year at Art School I had a roommate from England. She had all kinds of uses for the word," I muttered bitterly. "It seemed to be her choice word when commenting on my designs."

"She sounds like a wonderful person," he said in a sarcastic tone, "Why did that word come to mind?"

"Because all this is rubbish. There's no way you're actually in my dream."

"All right," he sighed. "I don't agree, but rubbish it is."

"I'm still not convinced," I muttered as I fidgeted with the end of my braid. "Weird dreams aren't out of the ordinary for me."

"I know all this seems strange," he said gently running his fingers down my braid and then taking my hand in his. "But please consider everything I have to offer you."

"I can't promise you anything," I answered trying to keep my eyes narrowed while his, so full of hunger, focussed in on my lips.

"I expected as much," he whispered placing his other hand gingerly to the side of my face. Had I been in my right mind I would have pushed him away. Instead, I froze as he leaned down to kiss me. I shouldn't have allowed it to continue, but the kiss was too delicious to ruin and I thought, _Eh, it's a dream. What does it hurt?_

To my surprise, even in the dream, I could feel the softness and gentle pressure of his lips against my own and though I had kissed a fair amount of lips in my past that kiss felt like my first real one. Despite the tenderness of the kiss, I could also sense a harnessed desire, but even as his other hand came to rest to the other side of my face our kiss remained just on the edge of passionate.

Just as I closed my eyes and began to lose myself to the kiss I felt his lips disappear. My eyes fluttered back open and I found myself in my room. Still groggy I tried to go back to sleep and return back to the dream, but as I began to fully wake and become aware, I felt disgusted with myself.

 _What did I just do?_ My voice groaned in my head as I stood to my feet and made my way across my room. _Why did I have a dream about making out with the younger model of Benjamin Rogers?_

"You are disturbed Emilia," I told my reflection as I looked in the mirror and began to re-braid my wavy ash blonde and purple hair.

As I went to grab a hair tie off the dresser I flinched and looked down wide-eyed. There was Benjamin's business card. "How did this get up here?" I mumbled as snatched it up. I stared at it unblinking and decided, _Thomas probably put it in here to mess with me. Twisted idiot._

After dressing I was prepared to find my brother and wring his neck, but knew he would have just denied doing it and then everyone would lecture me about overreacting. Instead I wadded up the card and was prepared to throw it away, but froze. Something didn't feel right—almost unfinished and in the end I couldn't do it.

As I unfolded the card and stared at the number I was sure I had lost my mind. I wanted to blame my curiosity for what I did next, but there was more to it, something I didn't understand. I felt in my gut that if I didn't do this the possibilities would bother me for the rest of the day.

Acting on impulse I picked up my cell phone and quickly dialed the number. As I waited for him to answer I nearly lost courage and was preparing to hang up until I heard him warmly answer, "Emilia."

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "Benjamin."

"How are you this morning?" he asked politely.

"That doesn't matter. What's the word?"

He let out an amused snort. "Rubbish."

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words weren't there. Instead, I ended the call and sat on my bed stunned.


	3. Chapter 3

"Is this like some sort of rebellious stunt?" my father growled as he paced before me and my mother sitting on the couch. "This isn't something that you can just walk away from two months later! No, I won't let you do this."

"It's not like you can stop me. I'm 21 and I'm not doing this as some sort of rebellious stunt. Believe it or not I want to help the family business and who knows, maybe I'll find I get along better with older men than I do guys my own age."

"That's not funny Emilia," my mother sighed as she squeezed her temples and shook her head.

"I'm not trying to be funny and you both need to stop freaking out. He only wants me to be there for the rest of spring break. I haven't agreed to marry him. He just wants me to get to know him. Plus I've never been to the Willamette Valley. It will be like a vacation, all expenses paid."

My mother gaped at me before shrilling out,"You can't just go about this like you do everything else in life!"

My face scrunched up defensively. "What do you mean by that?"

"What if he's a serial killer or something?" my father speculated as his eye twitched. "He's just luring you there, so he can tie you up in his basement."

"Really? I didn't realize serial killers made themselves known to the parents of their victims. Look, you have the address, my number, and his number. I honestly think in about a two days he's going to realize I'm 21, still trying to figure out life, and that we have nothing in common. That will be the end of that, but... I will have at least made nice with him and maybe, just maybe, he'll realize that's enough to put his faith in the business."

"Maybe she's right," my mother sighed looking up at my father.

I looked at my mother a little astonished by her sudden understanding, but picking up my dropped jaw I added with a false confidence, "I know I am."

"No. I don't like this at all," my father said shaking his head.

"I know dad, but please let me at least make an attempt to smooth this over," I said standing. "I won't feel right until I have." And that was the truth. It was the first time in my life that my family had to depend on me and I couldn't just step away from that.

My father let out a fumed breath through his nostrils. "I will knock him on his ass if he tries anything on you. I want you to call me every day, okay?"

"I will," I agreed walking over to him and giving him a comforting hug. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

But really, I wasn't fine. Though I basked in the glory of being the family's possible savior I was also regretting my decision on agreeing to Benjamin's newest proposition and dreaded the days I would have to spend with him.

 _Why did I agree to this?_ I wondered as I made my way back to my room to pack my bags.

In truth, I hadn't felt myself since I had called Benjamin two days prior and he gave me the answer _Rubbish_. I found myself actually considering the benefits of his offer. I would be helping my family, I would never have to worry about tuition, and the design studio was everything I wanted and more. However, in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't reason enough to marry some stranger; some old man.

In truth, it wasn't the age difference that bothered me the most. It was the idea of a loveless marriage. I felt it would be a betrayal of everything I stood for. I was always a believer in following your heart, being honest with yourself and those around you, and staying true to your passions. With that in mind, I decided that I couldn't marry Benjamin and couldn't be my family's ticket out of bankruptcy. I knew that would mean I would have to drop out of school, but at least I wouldn't have to degrade myself.

"Why can't I just walk away from this?" I sighed to myself as I folded up a shirt and shoved it in my bag.

For whatever reason, I couldn't shake that kiss from our shared dream. My lips tingled and my heart flutter when it came to mind. I think if it wasn't for that kiss I could have just put the whole situation aside, but the night following our phone conversation he entered my dream again. In this dream, I stood on a balcony overlooking a beautiful vineyard. I would have guessed Tuscany had it not been for the aspects of nature that looked more west coast. Still, it was gorgeous; a perfect combination of charming farmlands, rolling hills, distant peaks, and serene skies. It was enough to make any painter's heart stop and anyone else's breath vanish.

"And you could have all this too," said a warm deep voice behind me.

I turned around with a slacked jaw. "I must be in your head because I couldn't have dreamed this up."

"It's your dream, but yes," Benjamin said slowly making his way over to me. "I think I somehow brought this to you."

"How?" I breathed turning my gaze back to the sunset that was just beyond the sloping hills.

"I can't tell you that, because—I'm unsure."

"Do you have any theories on how this is happening? You entering my dreams?"

"I may, but I can't tell you," he said with a tone of regret. "Emilia, if you agree to marry me you'll have many questions that I won't be able to answer straight away, but I promise, one day I will and on that day everything will make sense. I just need your patience and trust until then."

"Why do you have to bring up the M word?" I moaned dropping my head in frustration. "Can't you just let me enjoy this dream?"

"I do want you to enjoy this dream, but at the same time I don't want to hide my intentions. I want to marry you, Emilia."

I let out a long sigh and turned around to face him. He was young again and seeing the anguish in his big blue eyes I almost looked away. "Benjamin, there's got to be a million girls who would marry you, girls that are looking for the kind of lifestyle you have to offer them," I said forcing myself to meet his gaze with a serious expression. "You should try with them because I can't marry you. I'm the kind of girl that marries for love or not at all. I don't think I'll ever settle unless it's the kind of love that is equal to or more than my other passions. I'm the sort of girl that ends up with the suffering artist type or struggling musician. Not a rich old guy."

"Who said I wasn't a suffering artist?" he asked with a weak grin. "And I'll have you know I not only can play the guitar but also," he gave a dramatic pause, "a pretty mean kazoo."

I laughed turning back around, but my laughter faded as I found myself once again gawking at the view. "God, you're making me feel like Elizabeth Bennet when she toured Pemberley."

"I don't remember the part where Mr. Darcy confesses to her that he plays the kazoo," he joked coming to stand next to me.

"Oh, it was in there. He had a big kazoo solo."

We laughed and feeling his gaze I glanced up at him with a shy smile. "Are you always younger in your dreams?"

He shrugged and leaning against the banister he peered out at the vineyard pensively.

"I wish you were young outside dreamworld," I admitted quietly.

"Would you consider marrying me then?" he asked returning his gaze back to me.

I shook my head. "It still wouldn't feel right. I can't marry a guy because he's offering me things, and it sucks because one of those things would be a big help to my family, but I would be disgusted with myself."

"What if you found that you could love me? Would you want me then?"

I couldn't answer to that straight away. I was so certain before the dream that nothing would convince me to marry him, but love wasn't anything I had ever considered. "I've never been in love," I finally answered, "so I don't know what I'd do."

He turned around, crossing his arms and leaning his back against the banister. "Never been in love?" he questioned with an intrigued smirk. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Yes, I've had boyfriends before," I said rolling my eyes at him. "Just none that I really felt anything deep for." I then tilted my head towards him asking, "What about you? I'm sure by your age you've been through a few relationships."

"Lust? Yes. Love? No, but after a bad situation with a… _despicable_ woman," he said rather harshly as if another word would be more suitable, "I've kept myself away from the dating world."

"Was this woman like a stalker?"

His lips tightened into a straight line and he looked skyward, bitterly. "No. She was my stepmother."

"That must have been awkward."

"It didn't end well, but let's not talk about that." He then looked down at me and his eyes bore into mine. His expression was difficult to read and I found myself unable to look away as I tried to understand it. "What I want to do is make you another offer, one that's maybe a little more realistic," he finally said.

"Like what?"

"Stay with me for a week. I won't expect anything from you, but I would like you to get to know me and give me a chance. At the end of the week if you want nothing to do with me then I'll stop pursuing you. I'll reconsider my previous business offer and maybe come up with another exchange for my investments."

"A week?" I clarified.

"Yes."

"Hmm... that would be the rest of my spring break, so I suppose that's do-able," I muttered to myself. I then turned to him with an arched brow. "And you won't like try to kidnap me and force me to marry you or something sinister along those lines?"

"You have my promise. All I ask is that you spend time with me, maybe enjoy a glass of wine with me, and honestly consider a life with me."

"I… I guess so. Ya, I can agree to that, but why though? Really, why do you want me?"

"You're the first girl I've ever met with hair the color of wheat and lavender," he answered as gently wrapped his finger around a lock of my hair.

"That's kind of poetic, but it's a really odd reason to want a girl," I pointed out as I glanced down at his winding finger and realized my hair was free of its usual braid.

"We all have our own reason for what we see as beautiful," he said in a soft, low voice as his wandering gaze darkened.

My cheeks reddened and I turned away from him trying to hide my smile. Internally I was berating myself for weakening to his charm, but in other ways I welcomed it. Returning to face him again I was prepared to say something along the lines of, _flattery will get you nowhere_ , but he wasn't there. The world around me melted away like a freshly painted scene suddenly splashed with water, and I found myself rolling off the edge of my bed. I shrieked just before my back hit the floor and groaning in pain I stared up at the ceiling. The fall not only woke me up but cleared my dreamy mind.

"Oh god," I whined. "What did I just agree to?"


	4. Chapter 4

Driving through Willamette Valley I was in awe of the magnificent landscape around me. My GPS led me up past rolling vineyards, around a large hill, and up a tree lined drive. Benjamin's house began to appear as I came to the top of the steep drive and seeing that it wasn't some ridiculous mansion I felt a little more at ease. It was a lodge style house with clean lines that made it appear both rustic and modern and though it was larger than a cabin it wasn't overbearing. It looked as though it was built to keep in harmony with the nature surrounding it.

"Not quite as grandiose as I expected," I muttered to myself as I got out of the car gaping, "but still, impressive."

As my eyes darted around I could see that the trees gradually cleared towards the back of the house and gave way to the view of the valley below. I stepped to the side of the drive to get a better look and peering through the trees I could see it was the same view of the vineyard from my dream.

Completely distracted by the scenery I was oblivious to Benjamin making his way down the porch stairs to greet me. "Hey," he called to me. "Need any help?"

Startled, my shoulders tensed and I quickly turned. I half expecting to see the young Benjamin from my dreams, but to my disappointment, it was old Benjamin. In an effort to hide my letdown I looked away from him, returned to my car, and opened the trunk.

"I got it," I finally answered grabbing my suitcase, but stilled as I felt his hand over mine. I hesitantly raised my eyes and saw the smile that had, even in my dreams, made me blush. However, seeing the deep age lines around his lips reminded me he wasn't that same man from my dream.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

He must have noticed the conflict in my eyes because he remained silent as he led me up to the house. Once inside I found myself again gawking as I took in the spacious layout, tall beamed ceilings, natural stained wood floors, and a big stone fireplace at the center of it all. Like the exterior there was some modern aspect to it that gave it a streamlined look, but the rustic furnishings made it feel welcoming.

"You have a nice home," I said trying to appear indifferent, but inside my emotions bounced between thrilled and overwhelmed.

"Thank you," he said putting my suitcase down and taking my hand. I tugged away from him at first but remembering our agreement I relaxed my hand in his. He gave me a reassuring smile before explaining, "I just wanted to show you the view."

"Oh," I nervously muttered, following him out a sliding door.

It had been a cloudy day, so I wasn't expecting anything as beautiful as what I had seen in my dream. But, as we stepped outside I learned I was wrong. Even though the sky was filled with gray clouds they were wispy and moved quickly across the subdued sky in long streaks allowing glints of sunlight through. Below I could see a dark valley and just beyond that were vineyards of emerald and gold. A light fog hung just above the ground and in the far distance were mountains I hadn't recalled from my dream. It was more beautiful than I remembered and being a rainy day kind of girl, it was more to my taste.

"And of this place, you might be mistress," Benjamin said drily.

I had almost forgotten he was standing next to me. Tearing myself away from the view I turned with a laugh and said, "Please don't tell me you read Pride and Prejudice before I came to try and impress me."

"It's been years since I read it and I think I only read it once," he admitted with a coy smile. "You can thank my sister Alaina for me remembering that line. She used to walk around quoting lines from books all the time. Honestly, I'm pretty burnt out on Jane Austen."

"Chht! Blasphemy," I said mockingly.

"What? You were the same way?"

"No. Not really with Jane Austen. I was more the Edgar Allen Poe kind of girl."

He leered at me through the corner of his wrinkled eyes that contrasted so much from his gentle blue ones from my dreams. "You have a bit of a dark side, don't you?"

"I think we all do. I just embrace mine a little more," I admitted as I watched the clouds thickening. "Or maybe it's just that I understand it more than most do."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I just never fit in with my family or really anyone I grew up with. Growing up I struggled with excepting myself because everyone thought I was odd. Maybe I am, but I'm not sure how to be normal."

"I don't think you're odd at all," he said with a kind smile as his eyes traced over my features. "I think you're perfectly exceptional."

I chuckled. "That's a very nice way of saying I'm strange."

"No. It's a feeble attempt to say I think you're beautiful just as you are and I wouldn't change a hair on your head."

I was at a loss for words as his gaze stayed locked to mine, but feeling my cheeks redden I turned away from him and once again found my voice.

"I think it's going to rain soon."

He nodded. "We should go in anyways. The food is probably done."

"The food?"

"I thought you'd be hungry being that you've driven all day," he said opening the door for me.

"I don't usually eat at night," I told him entering the house. "But I will tonight."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Night is the best time to eat food."

"Not when you're five foot three," I said strolling over to his CD collection against the wall.

He looked me over with an admiring gaze before walking away and adding, "You could afford to add on a few extra pounds."

"I probably will since I'm not smoking anymore."

"Good," he said from the kitchen. "You have such a lovely complexion. It would be a shame to ruin it."

"Yuck. You sound like my mom."

He snickered, but after that we both fell silent as I ran my fingers down the row of CDs. There was some classic rock and old punk, but most of the music was from more recent generations.

"So is this actually your son's collection of music?" I asked as I hit play on his iPod and heard Black Rebel Motorcycle Club playing out of the sounddock speakers. "Because things aren't adding up." When he didn't answer I walked into the kitchen and gave him a prying glare.

"I promise you I don't have kids and everything I told you is the truth, but like I said there are just some things I can't tell you yet," he explain as he laid two plates on the table and gestured for me to take a seat. I let out a long breath, irritated by his lack of explanation, but I wasn't about to refuse a meal because of it. I had skipped lunch and the pasta looked delicious so I had no choice.

Taking a seat across from me he held up two bottles. "Red or white?"

"Red, I guess."

As we ate I studied him and silently fumed. There were a number of things about Benjamin that just didn't make sense to me, but what bothered me the most, and had been on my mind during my entire drive there, was his ability to randomly pop into my dreams. I never gave him permission to do it and unless he had a good reason for it, like a forewarning, I didn't see the purpose of it.

"I don't want you enter my dreams anymore," I finally said as I stabbed at a roasted tomato with my fork. "If you're going to deny me answers then I'm going to deny you that."

"I thought you enjoyed younger me," he said with a glimmer of mischief.

"That's not the point. You can't just go inviting yourself into the minds of other people. It's impolite and creepy."

"The first time was a fluke. Really, I had no intentions of doing that. I didn't even realize it was something I could do. The second time was because you wouldn't answer my calls and I needed to communicate with you," he explained, "But since you're here now I see no reason in doing it again, so I'll stop."

"So... how did you do it?" I questioned resting my chin on my hand. "Did you like hypnotize me at the business dinner or use some sort of voodoo magic on me?"

He laughed. "Neither of those, but honestly, even if you guess, I couldn't tell you. Just know that one day I'll tell you everything."

"That's if I decide to go along with this whole crazy deal," I added.

"Yes." He nodded. "When you decide."

"This is the strangest playlist," I observed. "It went from the song Rifles to No Surprises, and now… is this The Doors?"

"Yes. We can always play something else if you prefer."

"No. It's good. I suppose it makes more sense compared to the rest of the songs playing."

He looked as if he couldn't decide whether to be offended or amused. "Why's that?"

"It's just older than the others."

"Oh. I see. Old like me. It's probably too old for your taste then."

"No! If I didn't like The Doors then how would I know who it was?"

"Sorry. It was a bad assumption on my part."

"You're forgiven," I said glancing up at him and found him watching me with a small smile.

I glowered in return. "What?"

"Nothing really. You just intrigue me. You're not like most girls your age."

"You haven't been around girls my age in some time then," I said with a sneer. "There's plenty of girls like me. I never thought there was when I lived in Montana, but when I started going to school in San Francisco I learned that I wasn't as unique as I always believed. There are artsy-punk-folk girls around every corner there."

"I'm sure you're right, but there's more to you than that. You're unique Emilia. You may not believe it, but it's true."

"And you know me so well?"

"No... and yes. I know that I have my reasons for desiring you and I know I trust you."

"Why? I haven't done anything to earn such glorification."

"You earn it just by being you," he said refilling his glass with wine and then offering to refill mine.

"No thanks," I mumbled uncomfortably.

I was quiet the rest of the evening and felt befuddled by what he had professed to me. I honestly didn't feel like I deserved such praise for just being me. I didn't see myself as a bad person, but I wasn't exactly a good one either. And I had been so indifferent to Benjamin that I wasn't even sure why he continued to hold an interest in me.

After we were done eating he stood and said, "You're probably tired after your long drive."

"I am, actually," I admitted.

"Follow me," he said standing and offering me his hand. "I'll take you to your room."

"Well that's a relief," I whispered as I stood and crossed my hands behind my back refusing his hand.

Rather than being hurt his mouth stretched in an indulgent grin. "What's a relief?" he asked dropping his hand and walking towards the stairs.

"I was afraid that maybe you thought I would sleep with you."

He paused mid-step and looked over his shoulder with a somber expression. "I told you that this week wasn't about that. I just wanted to prove to you my feelings were honest and that I'm not some old pervert."

"I'm still not completely convinced you aren't, but... I'm starting to see that maybe your intentions are more than just trying to get down with someone too young for you."

"That's all I hoped for," he sighed as he stopped in front of a door and slowly opened it.

As we entered the spacious room I was surprised by its simplicity. My gaze was first drawn to the large stone fireplace against one wall and then my eyes darted to the opposite side of the room where there was a wall of long windows facing out to the beautiful valley below. It was simply furnished with a wardrobe that looked intentionally shabby, a four post bed with gray and ivory bedding, and a toile cushioned chest at the foot of the bed. A few natural threaded rugs were here and there and an impressionist style painting of alternating hills of lavender and wheat hung on the wall. Other than that it was unadorned, but there was something calming about it.

"You'll be my first guest here," he told me.

I raised a brow. "Really?"

"I only moved here five years ago and all my friends live in Washington, so I don't get to see them as much as I'd like."

"But Washington isn't that far away. I drove farther than that to get here."

"They lead busy lives and so do I. This is the first week I've taken off in years."

"Why's that?" I asked sitting on the chest.

"Seven years ago we took a loss to my company, so I've been rebuilding it."

"Have you made up for it?"

"Yes. If I hadn't I wouldn't be considering ventures like your family's business."

"I'd expect to take on more losses then," I said without thinking and then regretfully added, "Act like you didn't hear that."

He grinned. "I've already expected that, but I'm pretty good at turning businesses around."

"I don't understand you, Benjamin. Is it my family's business you were really interested in?"

He shrugged. "What do you think?"

I grimaced. "I have a pretty good idea."

"I'll let you get comfortable," he said making his way towards the door. "If you need anything I'm down the hall, but I must warn you if I'm asleep you might have a better chance of finding whatever you need on your own. I don't wake easily."

And with that he left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Benjamin woke feeling more hope than he had in years. Emilia was in his house and even though she had been aloof she hadn't straight out rejected him.

"Now I just have to make sure I don't scare her away," he said to himself, stretching in front of the window and getting re-accustomed to his old physical form.

Sunrise was always a terrible moment for him, but that was before Emilia… before possibility. The previous day he had caught himself more than once reaching out to touch her, but quickly stopped himself. He would only allow his younger self, his dream self, to have that kind of intimacy with her. That was the version of himself that he wanted to give her and if she remained patient with him, he could live as that version once more.

Though Emilia seemed to be a rather open minded person he knew she wasn't blind to the inconsistency in his life. She was understandably curious and it was evident she was growing frustrated with the vague answers he gave her. He couldn't blame her knowing had he been in her place he would have fled the first chance he got. She was obviously more open minded than he had ever been at 21 and for that he felt she deserved more.

"What to do today?" he muttered rubbing his chin. It appeared to be less cloudy than the previous day and he decided it would be best to take advantage of the mild weather before it changed.

While he sipped at his coffee in the kitchen, anxiously waiting for Emilia to wake, he kept glancing towards the stairs expecting to see her. It had been several hours since he woke yet he hadn't seen or heard her all morning.

 _Maybe she did flee._

Once it was long past sunrise he decided to go inspect for himself and made his way up the stairs. Just as he was prepared to knock on her door she opened it and jumped back, startled.

"Sorry. I was just worried—" _No,_ he mentally corrected himself, _There's no excuse. I was being impatient._ "Eh... I take it you slept well?"

Lifting her hand to her forehead she let out a long breath before answering, "Yes. I was in a deep sleep last night. I didn't even dream, which is unusual for me." Her lips pinched together as she gave him a suspicious look. "You didn't have any hand in that, did you?"

"No, but I'm glad you feel well rested because I'd like to walk down to the winery today if you're up to it. It's just down the road."

"That would be cool. Do you know who owns it?" she asked following him down the stairs.

"I do. Well, half of it. It's more of a partnership," he answered leading her into the kitchen.

She gave a short laugh. "You look the type."

"The wine type?"

She gave him a once-over and nodded.

"Honestly, I rarely drink anymore. I make wine because I love the chemistry behind it. It makes me feel like a mad scientist."

She chuckled and took a seat at the table. "You've got the mad part down."

"And the scientist part," he added.

"What do you mean? I thought you were just a business guy."

"My major was actually Earth Sciences," he told her as he sat a plate of raspberry crepes in front of her and a cup of coffee. "I just fell into this because it was the family business."

"Great. Now I'm going to feel like an idiot around you."

"Why's that?"

"Because you probably think what I'm doing isn't a legit career," she said taking a bite. Her eyes closed in bliss as she savored the taste and opening them she added, "This is delicious."

"Thank you," he muttered as he studied her intently. "I like what you do. I've always had a great respect for artist. My mother was one." His voice grew thready as he gazed out the window pensively. "The painting in your room is actually one of her's." He then cleared his throat and turned back around with a faint grin. "I'd actually love to see some of your work if you're willing to show me."

Her mouth broadened and her green eyes twinkled. "I did bring my sketchbook."

The corner of his mouth tilted up. "Go get it."

* * *

I swiftly made my way up to my room and rummaged through my bags. After grabbing my sketchbook, I nervously walked back down the stairs, across the room and though I was apprehensive I placed it in his hands. I didn't like sharing my work with just anyone. I was always afraid of other's opinion since most of my designs had an edge of darkness to them, but as Benjamin flipped through the pages with an intrigued eye my insecurities melted away.

"These designs are beautiful Emilia. I had no idea you were this good," he said turning the page and pausing to study one of my designs I had drawn for a class the previous year. "This is interesting," he said pointing at the drawing of a long form-fitting corseted dress of black fading into blue, with an attached layered cape. "It's like a dark angel."

"I actually drew inspiration from a black and blue butterfly... I think it was some sort of swallowtail," I said standing behind him and looking down at the sketch with an unsatisfied frown. "We had to come up with a design inspired by nature and I was having an artist block. Everything I thought of seemed so cliche and I was trying to think of something original, but I just couldn't."

Having enough of my own critical thoughts I took a seat in the chair next to him. "I went for a walk and this butterfly flew past me, so I ran back to the dorms and began drawing. I laughed at myself for it later because I was trying so hard to avoid being cliche, but in the end I chose possibly the most cliche thing nature has to offer."

"But you did it in a way that wasn't cliche. It's beautiful Emilia and you should be proud of it, all of it," he said with his contemplative gaze still on the drawing.

"What?"

"The style… it doesn't seem quite of this century."

"I actually base many of my designs after fashions from the Victorian and Edwardian period."

"Interesting," he said with his mouth lifting to one corner, deepening a line in his cheek. "I'm no expert in design, but my sister was actually a model, so I guess through her I'm somewhat familiar with the fashion world and you're very talented Emilia."

"Thank you and you should feel honored that I shared this with you. I don't even show my parents my work."

He put his hand over his heart. "I do feel honored and to show you I'm going to make sure you don't regret your decision in coming here."

I gave him a smile of appreciation and took back my sketchbook. "I think I'm ready for that walk to the winery now. I'm just going to put this back and grab my sweater."

The stroll through the vineyards was a welcome distraction after showing Benjamin my art. I was always concerned that people held back their true opinions about my designs. I shouldn't have been worried after three years of school. I had received more than enough critiques from my teachers to toughen me up, but still, I was always so hard on myself.

After walking the sloping hills, we came to a circular lot in front of a long stone building. A dark haired man peeked out one of the windows and his face lit up as he recognized Benjamin. As he came out the heavy wood double doors I could see he was a short-wiry built man and looked to be in his mid-40s. He greeted Benjamin with open arms and they went back and forth in conversation before he caught sight of me.

"And who's this?" he asked with a welcoming smile.

"This is my friend Emilia," Benjamin said turning towards me. "Emilia this is Edmundo. He's the real man behind all this." He then stretched out his hands gesturing to the vineyard.

"Please call me Eddie," he said with a large smile that complimented his dark kind eyes.

"Or count," Benjamin added with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Count?" I questioned confused.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "He gave me the nickname after learning my name and that I had taken over the estate."

I was still lost and looked to Benjamin for an answer.

"The Count of Monte Cristo," he explained.

"Oh, I get it now," I lightly chuckled. "Edmond Dantes. Are there any hidden treasures around here?"

"No. We keep our treasures out in the open," Eddie said with a wink. He then looked at Benjamin. "So you haven't come up with a nickname for this one yet?"

"Not yet," Benjamin answered looking at me with an affectionate gaze.

"Friend, huh?" Eddie smirked. "Little young for you, isn't she?"

I crossed my arms and smirked at Benjamin. "See?"

"I may look old, but my heart and mind are of that of a young man," Benjamin said in his defense.

"You have the mind of a demon and the heart of a saint," Eddie corrected with a chuckle. "Come. I'll pour us a glass of bottled poetry and then Emilia, I will tell you a story I know Benjamin never would."

"Good or bad?"

"Good," Eddie said leading the way. "Always good with Benjamin."

We followed him into the winery and down a set of stairs to the cellar. The cold cellar was a long room filled with rows of barrels and it had a musty scent. There was also a long plank table with brewing equipment, a shelf of glasses, and a barrel turned into a table in the middle of the room. Other than that there was nothing fancy to it. It had the same rustic charm as everything else I had come to appreciate there.

We took a seat at the barrel table and Eddie disappeared for a moment only to return with glasses and a bottle of wine. "I wish the rest of the world could love their job as much as I love mine," he said pouring me a glass.

"You deserve it, Eddie," Benjamin said holding up his glass in salute.

Eddie clinked his glass with Benjamin's and took a seat. "It wouldn't have been possible without you." He then turned to me and said, "If it weren't for this man I'd be out of work."

"Really? Saint Benjamin to the rescue."

Eddie grinned and nodded. "He really did. My family never owned this land, but we came here in the 70s to work it. When the previous owner lost all his money he abandoned this property and all us workers. We tried to manage it on our own while waiting for someone to buy it, but we didn't have the means to maintain it. Everyone started to leave, but I couldn't. I had put so much of myself into this vineyard that it felt like a part of me, so I waited."

He let out a long breath and rubbed the back of his head as his eyes fixed on something in the distance. "I almost lost all hope, but this man came here five years ago and after touring the vineyard he made me an offer that had me crying like a child. He offered me a business partnership. I knew that with such an owner the vineyard would once again flourish and it has."

"How could I not offer you half the business? It was evident to me you were the true strength and heart behind all this," Benjamin added.

I could tell he was being genuine and I stared at him in surprised, but once Benjamin took notice I quickly looked away.

"So tell me about yourself, Emilia," Eddie said with a bemused gaze. "How did you meet Benjamin?"

I hesitated at first, but after Benjamin gave me a nod to continue I explained, "Actually the way I met Saint Benjamin isn't so different than the way you did. He sort of swept down like an angel and offered to save my family's business." _But like a demon he wanted something in return,_ I thought to myself.

"Oh... I see. That explains it. I was worried there was some sort of romance between the two of you, but you're here as more of a eh… business liaison?"

"Sure… I guess I am," I muttered before drinking down the rest of my wine. After placing it back on the table and feeling a little less anxious, I said, "So enough about Saint Benjamin. I want to hear some less than holy stories about him."

"Oh, I've got those," Eddie chuckled.

The rest of our time at the winery Eddie told me stories of the many occasions he and Benjamin started out wine tasting but ended up drunk and in some sort of blunder. As they talked back and forth I found myself studying Benjamin. I was starting to see past the wrinkles and started to notice things like his brilliant smile, the silver flecks in his eyes, and his infectious laugh. Eddie had nothing, but kind words for him and I was beginning to see Benjamin in a whole new light.

In some ways, I both appreciated and resented that I was starting to take notice to all of Benjamin's good attributes. I was proud of myself for seeing the man he truly was, but I was also resentful of the fact that these qualities didn't belong to a younger man. I wanted to believe I could see past his age, past this number, but I couldn't. I feared other people's judgment of seeing us together and feared falling for a man that I'd have such a short life with.

As always, Benjamin was quick to take notice to my change of mood and politely told Eddie that we needed to head back to his house for dinner. Eddie agreed and after giving us both a firm hug we said our goodbyes.

"So what did you think of Eddie?" Benjamin asked as we walked down the dirt path between the rows of grapevines.

"He's really a wonderful person and he seems to think the world of you," I said picking at my nails in an effort to keep myself from meeting his gaze. "I suppose that's something to consider."

"I'm glad you're taking his word for it, but I'd like you to come to your own conclusion too."

I only nodded and we continued our way to the house in silence.

* * *

 _ **I hope I didn't confuse everyone with that change up from narrator to first person, but** **I promise I'll only do that during Benjamin's POV. Just expect to see it sprinkled throughout the story.**_

 _ **Also, thank you for following me and for my first review. I wasn't sure I'd get any since this isn't your typical fairy tale, so thank you!**_


	6. Chapter 6

My surroundings were a constant source of tranquility and I found my remaining days with Benjamin, who I had started to just call Ben, surprisingly comfortable. The awkwardness between us seemed to slip away with the hours and talking with him became as natural as talking with Hannah or my sister Cecile. I began to wonder if there was more to our meeting than just his desire for me. Sometimes I wondered if maybe we knew each other in a past life.

Despite our age difference I discovered we had more in common than I had ever imagined possible. We could spend countless hours discussing music, books, and art alone. As he described his particular interest I found myself absorbed and not once did I struggle understand his point of view because in many ways it matched my own, sometimes so much it gave me goosebumps.

I found myself not only taken by his intellect but also his talent. As he had mentioned in our shared dream he could play guitar, but watching his fingers flawlessly and smoothly move from chord to chord I could see that he must have done so for years. While he strummed away, humming along with the melody, I would find my way to the balcony and let my mind drift as I sketched. He didn't have the strongest voice, but I found his guitar playing soothing and the calm between us spoke stronger than words.

I always assumed I would be at my happiest when I found love. All my friends who had fallen in love acted as if they had uncovered the meaning of life, but I'd also seen many of them act as if their life had ended when their hearts had been broken. I wasn't in love with this man and despite our similarities I wasn't sure I ever could love him, but I had never felt happier.

"You look miles away," he said joining me on the balcony.

"I was just thinking of how beautiful all this is," I sighed, leaning against the railing and staring out at the rolling hills. Little beams of light from the sunset came through cracks in the clouds and softly lit the vineyard it an array of colors. "It's so peaceful here."

"Peaceful enough to never want to leave?" he questioned nervously.

"You're relentless," I giggled as I turned to him, but he kept his gloomy gaze on the horizon. After some careful thought I added, "I guess I can admit that I'm more warmed up to the possibility than I was before, but only because of this place… and your music collection."

He rolled his eyes and his mouth tightened into a rueful smile. "I guess I should be thankful for that."

"It's better than liking you for your looks or at least I think it is."

"Have you dated many people for their looks?"

"In high school I did, but I think everyone does then. We're all so vain when we come out of puberty and looks are all that seems to matter, but I haven't dated anyone for a long time," I admitted as I watched the wind flick at leaves on a tree in the valley below. "I've been so busy with school. I guess my relationship with my art has been the strongest relationship I've ever had and my designs are not always beautiful," I added looking at Ben through the corner of my eye and realizing how my words could pertain to him. "I think there's more that can be said about character and depth than there can be said about beauty."

"Character and depth at least last longer," he added.

I turned my gaze back to the sunset and muttered, "But nothing last forever."

"Is that what's holding you back? Are you afraid of marrying me because you're afraid I won't live as long as you?" he asked.

"I think I'd be an idiot if it wasn't something I considered," I said as I grabbed my sketchbook off the patio floor, walked over to a chair, and took a seat. "Let's just say I agree to this insanity. You're older than me, a lot older than me and let's face it, you don't have many good years left." He snorted at that, but I continued. "What if I get close to you and then have to watch you slowly fade into death?"

"Maybe it won't be like you think, Emilia," he said kneeling down before me and placing my sketchbook aside so that he could take my hands.

"I wish you were younger, Ben. I really do. It drives me crazy that you have all these qualities of someone I really like, but you're too old for me. It's beyond aggravating sometimes, but I can't seem to get as angry as I want to here." I let out a heated breath. "I'm unreasonably happy right now and I can't stand it."

"Just stop worrying and allow yourself to do as you feel."

"I can't. I have too much planning to do. I've got to figure out this whole thing. I've got to decide what to do about school and my finances. I still need to call my roommate in San Francisco and tell her I will probably have to move out one way or another. I've been avoiding it all too long. All this has been a nice distraction, but I've got to put on my big girl pants and start thinking realistically."

Wiggle my hands free from his I grabbed my sketchbook, stood, and walked inside. He followed behind and I could tell he wanted to discuss it further, but I didn't. I ignored him and quickly made my way up the stairs to my room. I began packing my things and to my surprise Ben never came to my door to try to persuade me further. I told myself it was for the best, but the aching knot between my ribs said otherwise.

As I laid down that night I felt unable to sleep. I had too many decisions to make before I left the next day. At some point, after hours of tossing and turning, I fell asleep, but when I woke I didn't feel as I expected. Before coming I had assumed that on my last day there I would have felt relieved to be leaving, but what I felt was a heaviness in my heart.

The next morning I woke feeling no different and what little sleep I had provided me no answers.

"How is it that sleeping on decisions never seems to work for me like it does everyone else?" I mumbled to myself as I walked around the room looking for anything I may have missed during my packing. I was half tempted to leave something behind so that I had an excuse to come back if I changed my mind, but in the end I decided against it.

After bringing my bags down the stairs, Ben and I silently made our way to my car. We had said very little to each other that morning, but I could see that he was holding back his words. After loading my trunk, he came to stand beside and gazed down at me with sad eyes.

"I guess this is goodbye," I said in a weak voice looking away from him. "It's been..." I took a deep breath and forced myself to again meet his eyes, "one of the most interesting weeks of my life—complex, but wonderful."

As he opened his mouth he seemed to struggle with his words. Taking my hands in his he ran his thumb over my knuckles and finally blurted out, "Please say that you'll marry me, Emilia."

I blinked at him and gnawed on my lip taken aback. "Umm… I don't know if I ever want to get married Ben," I finally said. "I'm only 21 and I'm still making up my mind about things. Why wouldn't you just want me to come live with you during my breaks? Wouldn't that be enough?"

"I think at one time that would have been the only kind of relationship I wanted, but I was younger then," he said grimly. "I've changed over the years and know what I want now." He paused taking a deep breath. "I know we have just met, but talking with you and spending my days with you feels so natural. I feel like you're the other half of me."

"But we can have all that without marriage."

"You're right. Marriage wouldn't change how much I love you, but there is another reason. One, that in time, I will tell you."

"Is it because you're afraid I won't want to sleep with you or that I'll run off?"

"No,," he said with a bitter laugh. "You showed me nothing, but blunt honesty. I don't think you're capable of being deceitful. My other reason is something beyond emotions and if I could tell you at this moment I would, but you'll have to wait."

I let out an exasperated breath. "I see."

"Emilia… I wouldn't expect you to share a bed with me or even be intimate with me. I simply want you to be my wife. I wouldn't even expect you to stay here with me. I know you have to return to school and I'm willing to help you with whatever cost you have."

"I'm still so confused as to why Ben."

"I know. All I ask is that you trust me and maybe one day you will love me back. Then, if you wish, we can be lovers."

I was all the more emotionally divided. Part of me felt that it was wrong to accept such an arrangement. The other part of me welcomed his love, adoration, and assistance, but I felt that wasn't enough to marry him. I turned away from him to concentrate on my internal debate and though I was still apprehensive I gave him my answer.

"Yes. I think I can agree to those terms."

"You'll marry me then?"

I gulped and turned back to him. "Yes."

He took my hands again and squeezed them before bringing them to his lips. I slowly lifted my eyes to his and wished, more than anything, it was the Ben from my dreams looking down at me with a pleased smile, but it was not.

"I suppose I should be going," I muttered after he let go of my hands.

He stroked my cheek before opening the car door for me. "Call me when you get there."

"I will," I said getting into the car and making an attempt to give him a convincing smile. "I guess I'll see you soon."

"Yes. We can decide on a date when you're ready."

"Bye Ben," I said faintly.

As I rolled up my window I'm sure he could see a hint of regret in my eyes because I saw a sadness in his as I drove away.


	7. Chapter 7

Returning back to school, after my unusual spring break, was difficult. My roomie Hannah kept a suspicious eye on me and I'm sure she sensed some sort of change in my attitude. I wanted so badly to tell her everything, but I didn't know where to start. I was also afraid Hannah would judge me for spending my week with a rich old man and agreeing to marry him, as she should. I was already judging myself harshly enough and the more I thought about it the more I doubted I could actually go through with it.

"You've been staring at your desk, unmoving, for like 15 minutes now. Didn't know if you were aware of that," Hannah observed, her dark brow peculiarly arched.

"No," I sighed as I laid down my pencil and then buried my face in my hands with a moan.

"What is it?" Hannah questioned rolling away from her desk and bringing her chair closer to me.

"It's just, well, you may be getting a different dorm mate next semester. My parents are having some financial problems and the future…" _the future all depends on me_ , I thought, but I couldn't say that without opening up about Ben. "The future isn't looking good, so who knows if I'll be able to return next semester."

"What?" she gasped. "But no! I don't get along with other people and neither do you. We have this great introverted friendship thing going. I can't have that with anyone else! Remember when Alison from England lived with us? It was a nightmare! She had to comment about every little American thing we did and everything we did was rubbish."

I chuckled. "Oh, I remember. Trust me, moving out is not what I want either, so," I let out a breath, "I'm going to speak to the RA and weigh out my options for tuition."

"Maybe you're being hasty. Maybe your family's business is just a little slow right now."

"Ya," I mumbled and picked up my pencil again as I tried to focus on my assignment.

As the semester went on I found myself focussing in on my work in an effort to distract myself from the choice I made. Two weeks had passed since I had given my answer to Ben and he still hadn't called. I began to think that maybe he came to have his own second thoughts, but that assumption was quickly put to an end.

It was late one evening when I heard my cell phone ring and nervously, I looked down to see who was calling. It was not Ben as I assumed, but my mother.

"Hello, mom."

"Emilia," my mother rasped. "You're father and I just spoke to Benjamin Rogers."

My stomach clench in dread. "Okay?"

There was a long pause before my mother tightly said, "He told us you agreed to marry him."

I looked around the dorm and saw that Hannah had her headphones on and was too busy reading to take notice to me, but playing it safe I stepped outside the room and into the empty hall.

"Sorry. I'm back."

"So, is it true?" my mother snapped.

"Yes," I squeaked. I quickly covered my mouth and looked around to make sure no one else was outside their room.

"Are you crazy!" she questioned shrilly. "He's got to be 65! You can't marry a man you'll have to bury within 30 years!"

I let out a long moan before saying, "I know it's crazy, but I don't think his intentions aren't as disturbing as we thought."

"Aren't as disturbing?" she repeated in a derogatory tone. "How do you know that? Why else would he want a girl that's barely an adult?"

"I… I don't know," I confessed, "But what it comes down to is that I am an adult and he doesn't expect me to change my life. He said he wouldn't ask me to quit school and he'd even help me out financially. He'll also be helping our family. He's offering a lot for someone whose only intention is to have someone younger to share a bed with."

"Someone younger?" she repeated crisply. "No. I'm not letting you do this."

"You were in support of me visiting him," I pointed out. Admittedly, it was a desperate attempt to sway her.

"That was because you were supposed to convince him that the two of you had nothing in common!" she contended.

 _Damn it._ "I've… I've already made my decision," my voice wavered. "I'm going to do this."

My mother let out a condescending laugh. "You're too naive to make a decision like this. I understand you probably feel like it's some sort of obligation, but it's not Emilia. We can find another investor. We can take out a loan or maybe try to sell the business and start over again?"

"That's going to take time and," I gulped, "And maybe this is selfish, but I don't want to take time out of school while you guys are working things out. This is the quickest and best solution mom." I touched my lips in disbelief. D _id that really come out of my mouth?_

"You're going to ruin your life doing this.".

"How can you say that? It's not like I'm using drugs or dating some leech. Despite Ben being old, he can at least offer me a good life."

"Yes, but what about love?" she questioned. "Don't you want that someday?"

"Maybe with time we'll have our own kind of love," I reasoned. I wasn't certain I believed in my own statement, but I wanted to win the argument. My parents had controlled every aspect of my life because they controlled the finances. It felt empowering having that chain severed.

"I still think you'll regret this," she groaned. "But I can tell you aren't going to listen."

"No. I don't have to anymore," I said, my mouth form into a triumphant smile.

"Is this what this is all about?" she questioned. "Your father was right. You're doing this as an act of rebellion."

"You know what? In a way maybe I am, but I also know that I'm doing this because I want to. I don't completely understand it, but I like who Ben is and I like the life he can offer me."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," she moaned. "Just call me back when you come to your senses."

"Bye mom," I groaned before hanging up.

Hearing me stomp back into the room Hannah turned around with a concerned look. "You all right?"

"Ya," I fumed and plopped down in my chair.

Although my mind was elsewhere I began shuffling through some fabric swatches. They were all different shades of charcoal, but one stood out the more than the others. It was dark gray lace. I ran my fingers over it as my thoughts began drifting away from my anger.

"Wouldn't this look beautiful over ivory?"

Hannah looked over my shoulder. "I guess," she said. "But I didn't think ivory was your thing."

"It's not, but—" I paused not wishing to disrupt the picture forming in her mind. "I've got an idea for a design."

Fearing I'd lose my inspiration my hands quickly began to draw the dress. Hannah watched on intrigued and as it began to take shape she observed, "It looks vintage. Are you designing this for an assignment or for yourself?"

"For myself," I muttered, shading in a few areas.

"It would look amazing with like a scarlet rockabilly hairstyle. I'm getting ready to dye mine again. You want to change up your color too?"

"No," I said running my fingers down to the end of my braid and remembering when Ben had wrapped his finger around a strand in my dream. "I've kind of grown attach to the ends being lavender."

"Lavender? Hm? I guess it is kind of a lavender color," Hannah said glancing at my braid before going back to her desk.

Once my drawing was done I took a picture of it and texted it to Ben with the message, _Wedding Dress?_ I felt a sort of excitement and I laughed at myself thinking, _I can't believe I'm getting giddy over this._

Sitting up in bed I kept looking at my phone expecting Ben to call me or text me back, but within 30 minutes all I got was a useless email notification for coupons. After that I put my phone aside and tried several times to close my eyes and relax, but between the infuriating conversation with my mother and my brief burst of inspiration for my wedding dress I couldn't seem to settle.

Peering out the window, right next to my bed, I blinked my eyes several times at the moon. With my eyes traveling from twinkling star to star, I finally began to feel sleepy and with another heavy blink I opened my eyes to find I was staring out at a row of windows. I quickly sat up and looked around. I was in Ben's guest bedroom.

"Ben?" I called as I began searching the moonlit room for him.

"Emilia," he said from behind me. I turned and he stepped out of the shadowy corner of the room.

"You're young again." I crossed my arms and frowned. "And you entered my mind again."

He gave her a sheepish grin. "I know you didn't want me entering your dreams again, but I wanted to speak to you face to face rather than on the phone. I can see now that was a bad decision. You're angry with me."

"I should be, but I'm not," I said as I approached him, trying to appear composed. With old Ben I never felt flustered, but with the younger I couldn't help it. A swirl of flutters filled my stomach and a flash of heat traveled over my flesh as our eyes met. "This whole dream thing still freaks me out. Do you feed me subliminal messages or something?" I asked. "It's like some sort of mentalist mind trick, right?"

"No," he said taking a step closer, leaving only a few inches of space between us. Typically I would have taken a step back, but I couldn't. I was hypnotized by his sky blue eyes that bore into mine.

"Are you sure you're not a hypnotist?" I questioned.

"I promise," he replied in a husky voice, "I'm not."

"Dark wizard?"

"No," he said with a quirked grin as his eyes traced over my body and his fingers danced up the curve of my waist.

Feeling those long fingers brush the sides of my breast I let out a shuddering breath and lowered my eyes. As I did I could see I was wearing exactly what I had gone to bed in; an oversized black sleeveless t-shirt and rainbow striped underwear.

"Oh, shit!" I gasped and pulled down on my shirt to hide my underwear. "How did that happen? I need dream pants."

"No," he lightly chuckled, grasping my waist and pulling the length of my body against his. "This is you and...it's sexy."

I timidly met his gaze. "That is something I have never been called."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I'm adorable. Not sexy," I corrected. "However," I whispered running the tips of her fingers up the back of his neck, "You are a very attractive man… or at least you once were."

Setting me back on my feet I could see he was hurt by the last of my words, but I had a feeling that the pain in his eyes went deeper than my comment.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes, I don't think before I speak."

"No. You're right. I'm not what I use to be," he muttered with a distant look. His gaze then returned to mine and his hands came to rest to each side of my face as he added in a wavering voice, "But I can be again."

I searched his eyes."What do you mean?"

"I wish I could just tell you."

"Why can't you?" I asked as he leaned down closer, his lips hovering just over mine.

"It doesn't matter," he murmured as his half-lidded eyes fixed on my lips. "I said too much."

But before his lips could so much as brush against mine I jerked away from him and took a few steps back. "I'm getting tired of these mind games," I said through my teeth.

"It's not a mind game. It's something beyond my control. You have to trust me on that."

"I don't have to," I snapped back. "I chose to."

He gave me a despondent nod and again came to stand before me. "Let's forget it," he murmured. "That's not why I came to you tonight. I wanted to let you know I spoke to your parents."

"Ya. I know," I sneered. "My mom called me pretty upset."

"I'm so sorry," he said looking away regretfully. "I thought I had reasoned with them enough. I made it clear that I wouldn't expect you to change your life or to be intimate with me."

"It doesn't matter what they think. I already made up my mind to marry you," I muttered with a tinge of annoyance.

He looked taken aback as if hadn't expected that. "Are you sure?"

"Isn't that what you want in exchange?"

"I wish you wouldn't see it that way," he pleaded, lifting his hand as if to touch me, but then dropping it as I moved away from him. "Can you not see I love you?"

"I'm not sure it's love you have for me Ben," I muttered uncomfortably. "Maybe infatuation."

"I admit at first it was, but I have no doubt in my mind that I love you now, Emilia. I love who you are. I love wasting the days away with you, laughing and talking about... whatever comes to mind. I love watching you sketch away and I love how your expressions change while you're reading." He took my hands in his and traced my fingers with his thumbs. "Look in my eyes and you will see I'm not lying."

I let out a long exhale and looked up at him with a frown. "Let's not bring love into this."

The corners of his mouth dropped, but he nodded understandably. "I'll let you be the next one to mention it."

"Was there another reason you came to me tonight?"

"Yes," he said releasing my hands. "What's your ring size?"

"A five."

He smiled. "Then it should fit."

"What?"

"The wedding ring." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. It had some wear to it, but it didn't take away from its beauty. It was a silver band with swirling ivy and flower designs and set between two pearls was a large sapphire.

"I think a few of the prongs need replacing. I don't think they are holding the sapphire securely enough. I suppose I should get it replaced with a diamond anyways. I know that's traditional," he said slipping the ring onto my finger.

"I'm not traditional," I reminded him as I stared down at the ring in awe. "This looks quite old."

"It is. It's been passed on through the generations on my mother's side, but if you want something a little more modern…"

"No!" I interrupted. "No. This is perfect. It's the kind of ring I always wanted but are you sure you want to give it to me?"

"Of course. I couldn't imagine it on anyone's hand, but yours."

"I'm surprised it fits. Usually, I have to get my rings resized," I said running my fingers over the intricate open design. "I wonder if it's because we're in a dream. Do you know this ring's size?"

"No, but I'll find out. I just remember it was always too small for my mother to wear, but you're built more delicately than her."

I held out my hand admiring how it looked on me. "Odd how accurate these dreams are about some things," I said lifting my eyes to his young face. "And not others."

He shrugged. "I don't understand it myself, but like I told you, I'm not sure I'm the one in control."

I rolled my eyes. "And I suppose you aren't going to tell me who you think is."

"I will one day," he promised taking my hand in his and tracing his thumb over the ring. "Have you decided on a date?"

"I was thinking of taking this summer semester off," I said nervously. "We could get married then."

His mouth broadened and his eyes lit up. "That would be perfect. Where would you like to get married? Back in Montana?"

"No. I would prefer if we just got married at a courthouse in Oregon... or anywhere else but Montana. I could ask my sister Cecile to be the witness."

"I suspected that when I saw the drawing of your dress. It doesn't look like a church wedding dress."

"I guess it doesn't, but I never imagined myself in a wedding dress like all my friends did."

"That's because you don't need to wear a wedding dress to look beautiful," he said eyeing my t-shirt cladded body.

"How about next time you use your freaky dream powers to put me in a little more clothing."

He grinned mischievously. "So does that mean you'll let me back into your dreams?"

"With permission. I'll text you and invite." I wrinkled my nose. "That's so weird. Should the text read, _You're cordially invited to Emilia's dreams_ or should it be more direct like, _Time for brain invasion?_ "

"I like the second," he said pulling me against him once more. This time he didn't give me a chance to wiggle away as he captured my lips. Like his previous kiss, it was contained and I could tell by his quickening heartbeat against my chest that he wanted to deepen it, but he refrained from doing so. I knew he held back out of respect, but in some ways I wished he would just kiss me with all the desire he was suppressing. I knew there was a deeper passion he was harboring for me and my shameless curiosity pushed me to test it.

With my eyes fluttering shut and my arms wrapping around his neck, I ran the tip of my tongue over his lips. I felt his broad shoulders tense and when I opened my eyes his firm body against mine was replaced with a squishy pillow. I was back in my own bed.


	8. Chapter 8

Benjamin withdrew from the dream before he found himself unable to hold back. The feel of her barely clothed body against his made it difficult enough, but to feel her coaxing tongue against his lips left him aching. Waking in his bed, utterly alone, he regretted withdrawing from the dream, but it was either that or give into his need for her.

As if he wasn't suffering enough he could see a sliver of moonlight streaming through the opening of his blackout curtains and stretching its way over the bed. With a frustrated breath, he kept his eyes forward and reached over to his bedside lamp bringing more light to the room. There was a reason he kept the room dark at night, but as he pushed away the blankets it seemed there was no way in avoiding it. He would have to see himself and the mockery of his curse; his nightly youth.

Stepping away from his bed he caught a further glimpse of himself in the full-length mirror attached to his closet door. He slowly moved closer to it and staring back was the same 20 something-year-old man he had been seven years ago, but the confident eyes and arrogant smile were replaced with a look of bitter resentment. In anger, he slammed the closet door and stomped his way across the room.

Before closing the curtain, he peered out the window and stared down out at the moonlit vineyard in an effort to distract his thoughts from his frustrations and his desire for Emilia. Eventually the pounding of his heart steadied and his thoughts cleared, but in doing so it left his mind vulnerable to the memories of the past and all the anguish tied to them.

He closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair trying to rid the memory of Vivianna from his mind, but it was useless. Though he hadn't seen her for seven years she still haunted him. Opening his eyes, he looked down at his unwrinkled hands and shook his head. It was a mystery to Benjamin why the witch would have given him this form when the sun left the sky.

 _Perhaps she did this as a constant reminder of my curse_ , he considered. But sometimes he wondered if she had no hand in it at all.

It was the same with the dreams. His ability to enter Emilia's mind as his true self was never part of Vivianna's terms and he was beginning to consider that he either had absorbed some of Vivianna's magic or had a guardian angel.

 _It could be my mother_ , he thought to himself, _Or if they're no longer part of this world, maybe it's my sisters._

* * *

Growing up Benjamin led a charmed life and though his father anticipated for him to one day take over the family business there was no demanding expectation. Like his mother Benjamin was always a free spirit and seeing this his father let his son pursue his own interest, just as he had for his three daughters. Back then his father was both a businessman and a family man who believed life should be lived to the fullest. Everything was perfect then, perhaps too perfect to last forever.

It was when Benjamin turned 17 that the happiness in his life came to an end with the death of his mother. After this, his father became an unreasonable and verbally abusive alcoholic. The alcoholism eventually chased Benjamin's three older sisters away and having enough of it himself Benjamin left for college as soon as he could.

Inheriting his mother's love of nature he had decided to pursue a degree in Earth Sciences, but his father wouldn't have it. With retirement as his father's only goal left in life he was more determined than ever to have Benjamin take over the family business and refused to pay his tuition unless Benjamin decided to pursue a degree in business. It was at this point that Benjamin reluctantly severed ties with his father and decided to support himself through school.

Benjamin knew Emilia didn't completely understand why he was so willing to help her financially, but he didn't want her to struggle as he had. Working and going to school full-time left him barely functioning. During that time, he was lucky to even get a full night's sleep and he would not have his wife suffering the same.

His struggles continued on for some time until a professor intervened, offering him odd jobs around the campus to pay for tuition, and he found himself once again enjoying life. It was during this time he reconnected with friends and was able to put together a life of his own. He was happy for the first time in many years and he saw his future ahead, but it's always when we become complacent about life that it reminds us of the unexpected. His unexpected was Vivianna.

After not hearing from his father for four years, he was surprised to receive a wedding invitation from him. At first Benjamin had no intentions of going to his father's wedding. In his mind, his father had died the same day as his mother and the man he had become was a complete stranger. But his sisters still held out hope for their father and convinced Benjamin that the man their father once was could still be there. So letting go of his grudge Benjamin finally agreed to go.

Feeling overwhelmed by the anxiety of seeing his father again he had not prepared himself for the woman he was about to meet, but at the wedding his mouth dropped. Vivianna looked closer to his age than his father's, she stood at least six feet tall with ample curves and seemed to be made of gold. With an air of sophistication, it was obvious she was not some bar fly his father had picked up during a bender and he became curious as to where his father had met this woman.

"I heard he met her while sailing," his sister Alaina whispered to him.

"She looks too young for him," Benjamin whispered back as he kept a suspicious eye on Vivianna who walked down the aisle like a tiger approaching its prey rather than a bride approaching her groom.

"That's what I thought," Danielle, his oldest sister, agreed.

"In modeling I've come across some ridiculously beautiful women, but that woman doesn't even look human," Celine, his second oldest sister, murmured. "No one is that perfect."

During both the wedding and reception the four of them kept their distance from their father and new mother as long as they could, but they were left with little choice when it came time to give their congratulations. Benjamin watched on in astonishment as his father shook each his three sisters' hands as if they were no more than acquaintances. At first he assumed it was due to some resentment his father was holding on to, but when Benjamin took his father's hand he could see it wasn't that at all. His father's eyes almost looked glazed and his smile seemed forced.

"Dad, are you alright?" Benjamin asked in a hushed voice as he pulled his father in for a hug, but his father didn't hug back.

"He's fine," he heard a smooth honey voice say. "He's just had too much to drink."

Benjamin slowly turned his gaze to Vivianna and found himself under the spell of her beauty. Her golden eyes sparkled as she took his hand in hers and leaning forward she kissed his cheek with her petal smooth lips.

"I hadn't expected you to be quite so handsome," she whispered in his ear like a purr. " _I do want you... to visit us often_."

As he licked his lips, preparing to tell her that he would do anything she asked, he could have sworn he tasted honey in the air and a feeling overcame him as though he were somewhere between sleep and awake. He could have become her slave at that moment, but as his eyes met hers cunning gaze he had a moment of clarity.

 _She's drugged me_ , he thought. _This isn't me. These aren't my true feelings._

Still somewhat under Vivianna's spell he was reluctant to step away from her, but when his sister Alaina grabbed his hand, tearing him away, he felt as though he was suddenly woken from a dream. He blinked at his sister several times before finally realizing she had saved him.

"What is wrong with you?" Alaina scolded. "You look like you were ready to kiss her!"

"I… I don't know," Benjamin stammered.

"I don't like that woman and I don't trust her," Alaina said dragging her bewildered brother away.

"I don't either. I swear for a moment I felt her in my head and I think she's got into our father's," he whispered.

"She has her eyes on you now," Alaina whispered, looking over her shoulder at Vivianna. "Be careful. Stay away from her."

And returning back to school, he did. But six months after the wedding he was contacted by the police and brought in for questioning. The detectives asked when he last saw his father and sisters. He told them at the wedding and asked them why he was being questioned. When they refused to answer and kept interrogating him about his whereabouts he demanded his family lawyer, Ted.

Ted had always been like a young uncle or older brother to Benjamin and was more than willing to give him the answers the detectives wouldn't. He explained that Vivianna had been trying to take over his father's business since they married and that she not only started to embezzle money from the business but also started firing people; many of them members of the family who had been working for the business for years. It was after this that his sisters intervened and somehow got through to his spellbound father.

"Just before your father was about to bring back all the people Vivianna had fired he and your sisters went missing!" Ted explained outraged. "There's no doubt in my mind that she responsible for their disappearance and I'll make sure the investigators see that as well."

Ted did just that or actually surveillance videos from the campus showed that Benjamin had been miles away during the time his family members went missing. They never found Vivianna and for weeks Benjamin waited for further information, but nothing could be found.

With no one to run the business Benjamin left school and with Ted's help he soon started piecing together the mess that Vivianna had made. Apart from the business he also had to deal with his father's estate, which had been completely emptied by Vivianna. All that was left was one of his mother's old paintings and he was determined to get it because aside from the painting the only other thing he had left of his mother's was few family pictures and an old family ring she gave him to one day give his future wife.

When Benjamin was finally permitted to go back to his old home he knew it would have been wise to bring a friend or even Ted, but he was afraid he would break down once he got there, so he went alone. Entering the shell of a house, void of all the love and comforts it once offered, left him feeling uneasy. He walked around cautiously, almost expecting the worse, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a laugh from the top of the stairs.

He looked up and there she was; dressed in a tight black dress and her lips formed into a mock pout. "Have you come to help me forget your father, Benny?"

"What are you doing here?" he rumbled, but as he went to step forward he found himself frozen in place.

Her lips twisted in a smirk and her gold eyes seemed to shimmer with thrill. "I've been waiting for you," she said seductively as she walked down the stairs and approached him. "I could have moved on by now, but there's just something about you Benjamin Junior, something I can't resist."

"Where's my family?" he asked in a smothered voice as the sight of her began to intoxicate him.

"I put them away," she said as she circled him, dragging the tips of her finger over his back.

"What do you mean _you put them away_?" he questioned, trying not to lose himself to her scent of sun, spice, and honey.

"Not in prison, my pet," she whispered in his ear as she tightly grasped his shoulders. "Just for safe keeping. I don't like your stubborn sisters influence over you, so I'm removing them from your life for the time being."

He swallowed. "And my father?"

"He's weary and needed to sleep. I'm afraid I have that effect on men," she muttered as she began kissing up the back of his neck. "But forget him. He was cruel to you anyways. Now that he's out of the way we can get better acquainted."

Her kisses were warm and were full of promises of much more pleasure to come, but they also made him feel like someone else. With his last ounce of control, he broke away from her spell and shrugged her hands off him.

Displeased, her nostrils flared and she walked around him with venomous glare, but still, she maintained a smirk. "I see. This stubbornness isn't only in your sisters, but you as well. That's unfortunate. I thought we could have a few enjoyable years together, but if you don't want to play along I'm afraid I have no choice." She quickly swept at the air, as though she were brushing away cobwebs, but as her eyes grew in shock and her mouth fell open it was evident she had failed at whatever spell she was trying to cast.

"That should have worked," she muttered to herself as she stood frozen, a glimmer of dismay in her distant gaze.

Seeing she was distracted and feeling her powers over him weaken Benjamin took the opportunity to make his escape. He made it three steps, but with the flick of her hand he again found himself froze.

"What are you?" he struggled to ask, unable to move his jaw.

"A woman running out of powers it seems," she sighed as her gaze fixed on him. "Perhaps I should have moved onto another man by now but for whatever reason I can't give you up. I suppose I still have a few curses up my sleeves. However, I'd like to give you one last chance. As you can see I'm an attractive woman, but if the idea of being seen with your stepmother bothers you that can be easily changed."

With a shiver her appearance changed into that of a woman with dark olive toned skin, waves of long black hair, smooth features, and plump lips. His eyes grew wide with disbelief as she approached him in her new appearance and placing her hand above his heart the hair on his arms stood on ends. What he felt was fear, but she mistook this as desire.

"So is this the appearance you prefer?" she asked. "If not I can change it to whatever you want."

"I prefer you to get the fuck away from me," he choked out.

With a snort, she looked him over bemused. "You know being immortal doesn't mean you don't have struggles. You still have to find a means to support yourself and I thought I found that with your father, but the moron never changed his will like I asked. Had he I would have..."

"You stupid b…" he interrupted, but his voice was cut off as she pinched her fingers together at him.

"Give me a moment to speak. I like to explain what I'm doing before I place a curse. Actually, I'm obliged to. You should at least know what you're up against so you don't try anything too ridiculous… like killing me. I've had a few men try that. They don't get far, Benny and I certainly not ready to take your life… not yet. I'm doing this for you. I want you to learn a lesson." She then shook back to her previous look. "Much better. It can sometimes be tricky to do these things when I've altered myself. So… Er? Where was I? Oh! _That's right_. Your lesson. I was going to put you on a sort of house arrest like I did your sisters, but for whatever reason my magic isn't working as it should. What to do then?" She circled him once more. "You're very attractive. I don't want to ruin that, but I don't want anyone else enjoying the sight of you either. Why should I let them? You're mine now."

"You disgust me," he spat. "I'll never be yours."

This time she shot him an irritated look and snapped her fingers, sealing his lips again. "My! You're so strong willed. You'll never be mine?" She let out a cackle. "I suppose it wouldn't be difficult for you to have any woman of your choosing, being so _young, handsome, and rich_ ," she said in a mocking tone. "But what if we took away the young and handsome!" Thrilled by her sudden plan she clapped her hands together. "Yes! That's it!"

With a gritting smirk and a crazed look in her eyes, she focussed on him, weaving her curse, and he felt his body changing. His posture felt more hunched, his skin loose and worn, aches burrowed within him where there never had been, and his energy was depleted.

"Good luck finding a woman now," she laughed as she produced a hand mirror out of nowhere. Holding it up she revealed he was now a wrinkled aging man with gray hair and hard eyes.

He was more than shaken, but he wasn't about to let her see that. "Even like this a woman would still want me. You're a perfect example of the golddigger," he contended.

"Ha! I won't argue with you there. However, it will be difficult to find true love like this. No, it will be impossible," she corrected herself and with a hiss added, "Because if I can't have you no-one can!" But in saying this the curse began to reverse.

"Oh! I hate when this happens! Why do I lose my mind when I'm angry!" she shrieked, flicking her hand at him to reproduce the curse. "My certainty always cost me. Now I have to make an amend to my magic," she groaned as she raked her fingers through her long golden strands. But, as her eyes lit up she stilled and her grin returned. "If you can find someone who will love you and marry you as you are then the curse will break on your first anniversary. However if this woman discovers that this isn't the real you or that you're cursed before your first anniversary then you will become mine forever."

With that she let out another wild cackle. "Hm? I actually rather like this. A good challenge is always fun to watch play out. Just to make this more interesting, this girl can't be just any girl. She must… she must…" she struggled as she tried to think up a unique feature; one that would seem almost impossible. She turned her back to him and rubbed her chin in thought. Her eyes darted around the empty house until they settled on the only thing she hadn't sold. It was a painting done by Benjamin's mother. In the painting fields of lavender intersecting with fields of wheat. " _Lavender and wheat_ ," she murmured and slowly turned around facing the frozen old man. "She must have hair like lavender and wheat."

"What the hell does that mean?" Benjamin hissed through his teeth. "That's not even possible!"

"It is or my curse wouldn't hold up," Vivianna said with delight. "Goodness. I almost want you to meet her so I can see her with my own eyes... after she fails of course."

"If she's out there she won't fail. She'll break my curse and end you." The words that came out of him felt planted—as if someone was speaking through him and seeing Vivianna's eyes darken with rage he knew that his words had become part of the deal.

"You think you have that power?" she laughed. "You have no powers Benny and I'll come to collect you soon enough!" And with that she gave him one last look before turning and fading away into the shadows.

That was the last he saw of the witch. After that he lived in fear that she would show back up in his life, so he fled from his old life in an effort to keep anyone close to him from getting tangled in the same web he was caught in. For a couple of years, he talked to no one and lived on the streets. In those years he went through some very dark times, but came out the other side of it with a new will to live.

But still, he kept to himself, only contacting Ted through calls and emails. Other than the occasional company of Eddie he led a solemn life and hopelessly waited for the girl with hair like lavender and wheat. He couldn't determine if it was by pure chance or fate that Emilia came to be in his life, but now knowing her he couldn't imagine one without her.

"Please don't give up on me, Emilia," he whispered as he watched the sunrise and felt the changes of age take place.


	9. Chapter 9

_I can do this_ , I repeated to myself as I braided my hair. _It's not really a marriage. Just a piece of paper and nothing else._ My reflection disagreed. In my eyes, I saw a wistfulness that had never been there before. I shook my head in denial and turned away from the mirror to start packing my bag.

 _You're falling for an illusion_ , I told myself.

I didn't sign up for summer classes as I had always done and when my advisor asked why, I told him I was having family issues. He nodded knowingly and told me he was there if I ever needed to talk. I just smiled and said thank you, but in my mind I thought, _You wouldn't even begin to understand what I'm going through._

I hadn't even told Hannah of my real dilemma. She just suspected I was anxious over my family's financial issues. It was difficult to keep the truth from her at first, but with each passing day I realized it was for the best. I wasn't sure how long this relationship or agreement or whatever it was between Ben and I would last.

"I should be back in a couple of months," I said to Hannah as I drew the straps of my duffle bag across my chest. "Hopefully."

"No. You will be back. Please come back," she insisted, hugging me. "I don't think I can bitch my way through the semesters without you."

"Well… I think I have found a way," I insinuated, hugging her back.

She withdrew and her prodding eyes searched mine. "I could tell you were hiding something. What is it?"

"I'll tell you about it when I get back," I said releasing myself from Hannah's squeezing hold.

"Remember, I'm holding your car hostage until you get back," she said opening the door for me.

"See then, I have no choice," I said stepping out the door.

After that, I took a cab to Salem, Oregon. I had already made arrangements for Cecile to meet me at a hotel the night before the wedding for a third-rate bachelorette party, but as I pulled up to the hotel that Ben had booked for us I found there was nothing third-rate about it.

 _Classy_ , I thought to myself as I strolled up to the door. After checking in I looked around for my sister and found her sitting in the lobby, too distracted by her phone to notice me approaching. Clearing my throat, I finally got her attention.

She looked up at me and bleakly sighed, "Little sister." She then stood and hugged me as though she was comforting me after a funeral.

"Er… hi?" I said confused as I felt her rocking me back and forth.

"It's alright. I'm here now," Cecile whispered patting my back. "If he's forcing you into this I'll do all I can to stop him. You don't have to go through this."

"Forcing me?" I repeated pushing away from her. "Benjamin isn't forcing me."

"Then why the hell are you doing this?" she questioned crossing her arms.

"Because… I don't know. I—" I paused before adding with a simper, "I just want to get out from under mom and dad's thumb and here's my answer."

Cecile gave me an incredulous glare. "I think you need to rethink this."

"There's other reasons," I laughed. "I just don't feel like I need to explain myself."

Cecile rolled her eyes and I couldn't blame her. I knew I gave her a childish answer, but I did it out of habit. When I was questioned about my life choices I always answered with humor because I felt that no one was willing to take me serious anyways. I suppose in that aspect I needed to grow up, but it was entertaining... at least to me.

After locating our room and having a few glasses of wine we crashed on the bed. I could tell by the look on Cecile's face that she wanted to shake me and ask me what the hell I was thinking, but she managed to hold off. Probably because she felt she had no room to talk after her two-year marriage was suffering. Our oldest brother Kris had the perfect little housewife, Liz had a beautiful family of four, and Thomas had been with the same girl since high school. Cecile, however, had married a man she met at a nightclub and here I was marrying, what she considered, a mummy. In a way, she probably appreciated me taking the attention off her.

"These movies are terrible," I sniffled as I wiped my eyes and turned off the tv. "Such crappy fluff."

"Oh really?" Cecile gave me a cynical look. "You mean the part where her husband died? You should be crying for yourself. That will be you in 20 years."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know just because he's older doesn't mean his life is any shorter than your party boy husband's."

Cecile sighed and admitted, "True, but the chances are more favorable with Greg than with Benjamin, I think."

"Let's not talk about this. Let's talk about… the business," I said trying to change the subject. Cecile gave me an odd look. Even I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth.

"Hmm, how about not considering that's all I hear about all day," Cecile said pulling the blankets under her chin. "You should be happy mom and dad didn't force you to work for the family like the rest of us."

"So, how badly are things?"

"Bad, but not bad enough that you should feel like you need to marry this man to save the business."

"I'm not marrying him just for that," I said squeezing my pillow and remembering my dream kiss with him.

"Of course not. There's also the fact that he's paying for your _Art School tuition,_ " Cecile smirked.

I scowled at her. "Wow, you have such a high opinion of me. Why do you say Art School that way? I love what I do. Do you love what you do?"

"I like the money." Cecile shrugged and added, "I suppose if you marry a rich guy it won't matter if anything becomes of your career."

At that, I took my pillow and smacked it hard into Cecile's face. She gaped at me while I glared at her like a cat ready to pounce. After Cecile got over her initial shock her expression softened.

"I… I'm sorry, Emilia. I just don't want you making a mistake," she said looking at me somewhat ashamed, which was surprising. Like my mother, she wasn't one to offer up apologies.

"I'm not. I really like Ben." And I meant it. I paused, a little shocked at how easy the words slipped past my lips. "I may not be in love him, but what he gives me is enough and," I let out a frustrated breath, "I just feel really good when I'm with him. He gives me confidence. I haven't had a lot of people in my life giving me that."

"I suppose we haven't been the best family for an artist," Cecile said wrapping her arm around me and hugging me to her side. "Alright. I'm going to be better. No more questioning. I'll just… I'll just be there for you."

"That's all I ask," I said snuggling to her shoulder. "By the way, thanks for coming."

"You owe me."

"I'm saving your job."

She gave a nod. "Noted. Consider the debt paid."

* * *

Cecile zipped up the back of my dress, turned me around, and looked me over puzzled. "Is this a vintage funeral dress?"

"No, It's not black," I replied lifting my chin indignantly. "It's dark gray lace over ivory satin. I doubt anyone would wear something like this to a funeral and it's not vintage either. I made it. I was going for something late 40s, early 50s."

Cecile's brow lifted. "You made this? I'm impressed."

"Thanks. It's not like I'm spending my class time sewing squares together. Believe it or not I can even make more complicated stuff than this," I said defensively while brushing my hands down the full tea length skirt. I then stood before the mirror and slipped an ivory rose hair clip with a small gray lace veil into my loose rolled curls. I was rather impressed with how my usual mess of waves and curls decided to comply with me that day. I looked so kempt compared to my usual throw together-mismatched look.

"Ya, I didn't think you did, but I just didn't realize you were this good," Cecile explained helping me with my veil. "You did a wonderful job and you are absolutely beautiful."

"Thanks," I whispered with an anxious smile as I hugged her. "And again, thank you for coming to be the witness."

"Ya, just not sure what I'll be witnessing." She winked. "Hopefully you running the other way."

"I have to do this Cecile. I've been the family failure all my life and I feel like after this everyone will look at me with a little more respect. Not only that but also because Ben is good to me. He doesn't even expect me to be intimate with him. He just wants me to be his wife."

"Don't you think that's a bit weird though?" Cecile questioned.

"I don't know. What is normal?"

"That's a ridiculous defense. What if you meet someone else that you really love? You'll already be married and then what?"

"Well, you know me. I suck at relationships anyways, so maybe it's best that I am removed from the dating world."

"Alright, I'm done trying to reason with you," Cecile sighed. "You're a big girl and you can make your own decisions, good or bad… really bad."

"Stop it, Cecile. Plug your ears and look away if it bothers you that bad. Just physically be there."

"Fine. Let's get you to the courthouse."

* * *

As we pulled up to the courthouse I could see Ben looking down at his watch anxiously and then searching the street. He was dressed in charcoal slacks, a light gray suit jacket, and a white shirt looking both sophisticated yet relaxed, which I appreciated. I didn't want us drawing attention and could only hope that with all our gray we would just blend into the background.

When he finally spotted our cab he looked relieved. I imagine he probably thought I'd back out at the last minute, but despite all my doubts I couldn't. Once I decided on something I went through with it. Maybe it was a pride thing, but I like to think in this instance it was something more.

Cecile, who looked like a younger version of my mother in her simple navy dress and blonde hair pulled back in a tight twist, stepped out first. As she held the cab door open for me I carefully slipped out, making sure I didn't snag my dress and awkwardly stood to my feet.

As Cecile helped me straightened out my skirt Benjamin quickly ran up and paid the cab, but as she stepped out of the way his eyes grew wide.

"You look beautiful," he finally managed to choke out as he offered me his arm.

I hesitantly took it and gave him a nervous grin. "I did my best."

"I've never seen a more beautiful bride in black," he said with a sly grin.

I heard Cecile stifle a chuckle behind me.

"It's dark gray," I corrected as I glowered over my shoulder at her.

He squinted, looking it over once more. "Of course it is. Why did I think otherwise?"

"Well your vision's probably not what it use to be," Cecile mumbled behind us.

I shot her another glare of warning before looking up at Benjamin with a forced grin. "Are we ready?"

"Almost," he said lifting his other hand and presenting me with a small bouquet of Lilacs. "I thought they matched your hair."

This time I gave him a genuine smile. "I thought you said my hair reminded you of lavender."

"Yes, but your perfume always reminds me of lilacs… and I thought these looked better than a bouquet of lavender."

Since I didn't typically wear perfume I almost corrected him, but stopped myself instead accepting both the compliment and the bouquet. "Thank you."

After finding our way inside we filled out paperwork and received some odd stares, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. We then stood behind another couple waiting their turn. The couple looked to be about Ben's age and when the woman caught sight of him she turned around as if to introduce herself, but once she saw me her pleasant expression faded away and she quickly faced forward refusing to look at us again. Ben looked down at me concerned, but seeing that I was suppressing a laugh his mouth tightened into a humorous grin.

Once it was our turn to enter the courtroom the judge glared at us cynically and I felt a tinge of shame. It was as though she could see right through me and knew I wasn't marrying the man next to me out of love. In an effort to hide my reddening cheeks I looked down at my bouquet, but feeling Ben's hand come to rest on the side of my waist I slowly lifted my eyes to his and saw assurance and kindness.

"Are you alright?" he questioned gently.

I nodded. "Fine. Just nerves."

He leaned down to me ear and whispered, "If this something you don't want..."

"No," I cut him off. "I want to do this."

"Are we ready?" asked the judges.

"Yes," I said feeling a little more confident.

"Alright. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"

Everything happened so quickly that I barely remembered saying the vows or 'I do.' But I knew I must have because the next thing I remembered was feeling a ring on my finger and hearing the judge say, "You may kiss the bride."

Feeling my anxiety return I slowly lifted my eyes to Ben's, waiting for him to do what I couldn't, and leaning down, he did. The kiss wasn't as a wedding kiss should be. It was an uncomfortable brush of the lips, but I was relieved it wasn't more. I knew it meant he respected my feelings enough to not push his own onto me.

Solemnly, we walked out of the courthouse, and after parting ways with Cecile we got into Ben's jeep. As we drove down the highway we said nothing to each other. Chewing on his lip I could tell Ben wanted to say something, but I'm sure he was as emotionally lost as I was. Most couples were hanging all over each other after getting married, but we weren't most couple and I think neither of us knew how to react to our new situation.

Never being one to tolerate awkward silence I finally broke it. "So what now?"

"I was going to take you on a sort of honeymoon," he said. "But I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

I scrunched up my face. "Is it like somewhere really snobbish?"

"No. Actually it's the opposite of snobbish, but I hope you're not disappointed. It's not far from here, but it's not everyone's dream honeymoon destination. However, it's a place dear to me. I have some great memories of spending time there with family when I was younger."

"Where is it?"

"It's a surprise," he answered with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Can't you give me a clue?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure what clothes you packed, so I packed you another bag just in case." He then reached behind the seat for a backpack. "You'll want to change into this at our next stop."

I opened it up and pulled out a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, a flannel shirt, and some hiking boots. "How did you know my clothes sizes?" I asked looking inside the jeans.

"I'm observant."

"Or creepy," I mumbled. He snorted at that. "So… are we becoming lumberjacks?" I asked holding up the plaid shirt.

"No, but how do you feel about camping?"

"You're taking me camping for our honeymoon?"

"We can do something different. I just thought it would be more suitable since we're avoiding intimacy."

"No. It's cool," I said looking away from him with a faint blush. "I like camping. It's something my family did all the time in Montana."

"I can promise you where we're going is like nothing you've ever seen."

"We'll see. I'm not sure how anything can compare to the beauty of Glacier National Park."

"I have been there and... that is a hard call," he admitted. "So I'll let you be the judge when we get to our destination."

* * *

 **Just so you know, I'm not against reviews.**


	10. Chapter 10

We drove into a forest of spruce and fir trees. A heady forest musk clung to the moist summer air and judging by the gray clouds clearing away, broken branches, and damp roads it appeared we had arrived after a storm. After passing a National Forest sign, we made a turn and I could see the campgrounds ahead.

"Finally," I breathed.

Ben arched a brow at me. "What do you mean finally?"

"You drive like…" I was going to say an old man, but I stopped myself. "You drive really slow."

"I guess I do," he sighed. "I became a more cautious driver after my mother died in a crash."

"I'm sorry," I said feeling my cheeks redden. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"You don't have to be sorry," he said with a reassuring smile. "You didn't know."

Feeling ashamed I was at a loss for words and chewed on my lip while staring out the window. He took notice and quickly changed the conversation.

"My sister was once a park ranger here."

"Your sister?" I repeated surprised. "The same one that was Jane Austen-obsessed or the model?"

"No. Another one."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Three, that I know of."

"Three that you know of?" I repeated.

"After my mother died my father drowned his sorrows in booze and women."

"Oh yeah. You mentioned having a stepmother before." I wrinkling my nose. "One that had a thing for you?"

"Ya," he barely muttered. He didn't continue from there and I could only assume he didn't wish to discuss her further.

"Are your sisters still alive?"

"Yes… I think. I'm not sure where they are anymore, but I believe they're still alive," he said tightening his hands on the steering wheel with a look of irritation.

"How do you not know where your sisters are? Did you have a big falling out with them?"

"No. We… we had a few issues with our stepmother," he rasped. "But I can't tell you more than that."

"Can you at least tell me if all this secrecy has anything to do with something illegal?"

His look of irritation faded as the corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes glanced at me amused. "I promise you there's nothing illegal going on."

I crossed my arms and gave him a skeptical glare. "That's somewhat of a relief."

After parking, we began unpacking. I unloaded a tent from the back of his jeep and when I found another I turned to him quizzically.

"I thought you'd want your own space," he explained taking the tents from me.

"Uh… yes," I answered ambivalently. "Thank you."

"After we set up I'll probably try to get some sleep," he said running his hands through his hair as he inspected the contents of the tent pack.

"But the sun hasn't even set," I observed. "You don't want to stay up and tell ghost stories around the campfire? Make S'mores?"

"I'm pretty tired from the drive," he explained regretfully.

I gave him a disappointed nod. "Can you at least help me build a fire before you sleep?"

"Of course. Just remember to put it out."

"You sure you don't want to stay up for just a little bit? Once the clouds clear away there will be a spectacular night sky."

"I can't," he answered abruptly and after that we again fell silent as we continued to set up our tents.

I didn't sleep that night. I had too many conflicting feelings rolling around in my head; most of them due to all the unexplained circumstances surrounding Ben. He seemed to get testy when I questioned him about his past. It was as though his feelings were still pretty raw from it; as though whatever angered him didn't happen that long ago. And then there was the whole entering my dreams thing. I tried to add logic to... any of it, but the only theory I could come up with seemed improbable.

"It can't be magic," I muttered listlessly as I snuggled into my warm sleeping bag. "But the way things don't add up and the dreams... No. That's crazy."

As sunlight began to stream through my tent window I decided to give up on any attempt to sleep and after digging my sketchbook out of my bag I stepped outside. After a small walk away from the main campsite I found a creek and sat near the edge on the driest patch of grass I could find. As the water trickled over the rocks I found myself in an almost meditative state and with a yawn looked up. Stretching skyward were several fir trees and their spiny branches stretched out above in such a way that I could only see glimpses of the sunrise. It made for an interesting view, so I began to sketch it.

"Good morning," I heard behind me.

Looking over my shoulder I saw Ben standing behind me with two coffee cups. As he sat down next to me he offered me one and placing my sketchbook aside I took it.

"Where did you get the coffee?"

"They had it at the park office," he told me. "I thought if I found you I shouldn't show up empty-handed. Especially after I behaved like such an ass last night. I'm really sorry."

I shrugged. "You seemed tired."

"It was more frustration... with myself," he admitted.

"Do you think we made a mistake?" I asked him.

"Getting married?" he clarified.

I nodded.

"No," he answered with a wounded look. "I know it's been more difficult for you than it has for me, Emilia, but I think with time maybe you will come to see me differently. In some ways, I think you already do." His gaze then drifted to my open sketchbook and fixed on my drawing. "You seem to notice what most miss," he added glancing skywards before returning his eyes to the drawing. "This is really good. I didn't realize you drew more than just designs."

"I draw lots of things, just very poorly," I smiled handing him my sketchbook. "You can look through it if you want. I've had this since I was 15, so the further you go back the worse it gets."

He began to flip through it and stopped on a self-portrait I had sketched a few years before while sitting on the dock back home. In the sketch, I was leaning over the dock and my hair was hanging down around me, but I drew it in such a way that you couldn't tell if I was looking down at my reflection or if I was falling back into the water.

"This is amazing and very surreal," he said holding it up before him. "It's hard to believe it's just a sketch."

"Thank you. It's one I'm proud of and not just because it's a sketch of myself," I joked.

"You should be proud of that too," he said as his eyes lifted from the sketch and his gaze roamed over my features. "You captured yourself beautifully."

I blushed and took back my sketchbook. "Thanks."

"So why did you chose design over traditional art?" he asked.

"Um… hmm?" I went silent in thought before answering, "I guess it was in high school when I got into design. I had played around with sewing before, making my own costumes and clothes, but my class was doing a theatrical version of Alice in Wonderland and one of my friends mentioned to the drama teacher that I could make costumes, so I got roped into making all the costume. It was fun and everyone thought I did a good job. After that I decided that's what I wanted to do, design costumes."

"And you will," he said standing to his feet and offering me his hand. "Do you want to do a little exploring?"

"Ya, that would be cool," I said taking his hand and pulling myself up. "Where to?"

"Mary's Peak."

I snickered. "Mary's Peak? I'm not sure I want to explore Mary's Peak."

"It's a mountain," he smirked and shook his head. "And you think I'm the depraved one."

I laughed.

After taking an hour's drive to Mary's Peak, we began our hike. Other than Ben naming the different sites our conversation stayed at a minimum as we became distracted by the beauty surrounding us. I felt my heart pounding as we stood on top of a towering green hill looking down at the miles of wilderness below and I breathed in the sweet scented air.

"Somewhere out that way, far in the distance, is our vineyard," he said pointing out to a wave of hills.

My heart fluttered by his use of the word 'our' instead of 'my'. It was strange to think I now had a shared life, but in some ways comforting. I knew Ben would always be there for me and though I felt I had little to offer him, I hoped I could be there for him in return… as a friend.

"There's another place I want to take you," he said taking my hand and leading me back down the path.

After a long trek down the hill, we got in his jeep and drove for about an hour west. The ocean began to appear in the distance and after a few turns we finally parked near a craggy beach.

"I grew up most of my life in Washington, but when I was a small child we lived near this beach," he told me. "Those were the best years of my life. My mother would paint while my sisters and I ran along the shore, jumping waves. I haven't been here in years." He scanned the beach below and his eyes looked dazed with distant memories. "I'm glad it hasn't changed. It still make me feel at peace."

"This is amazing," I gasped as we climbed our way down the rocks. "We don't have this in Montana."

"You act like you've never seen the ocean," he remarked as he held his hand out to help me down the last step of stones. "Haven't you been living in San Francisco?"

"Yes, but the beaches there are usually littered with people."

"Well, I've rarely seen other people the times I've been here," he said.

"Sounds like the perfect beach to me."

After walking the shoreline, we took a seat on a group of damp rocks and quietly stared out at the ocean. The waters drifting in picked up the rose, violet, and peach hues from the sunset sky and washed up on the beach in a prism of ripples. As the sky steadily grew darker the colors from the sunset grew richer and though I was cold and shivering, I was too mesmerized by the vast waters actings like a mirror to the painted sky to step away

"Are you all right?" Ben asked taking off his hoodie and offering it to me.

"Ya," I said with a grateful smile as I pulled it on and felt instantly comforted by its warmth.

As I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear I fixed my gaze on the waves that were hitting against a group of rocks. My thoughts drifted back to the wedding and the guilt I had felt over marrying someone for reasons other than love. However, that got me wondering, if Ben were younger could I fall in love with him? I wanted to deny it, but I was drawn to him. He had every quality of someone I could be happy with. But, even then I doubted I could fall in love with him or anyone at that matter. Maybe it was the artist in me that craved the emotional struggle and anguish. Love just seemed too perfect of a thing to have, even with its imperfections.

Feeling a splash of water on my cheek I lifted my hand to wipe it away, but as I felt more drops drifting down my cheek I realized it wasn't sea mist. It was my own tears.

"Sorry. Jeez," I said wiping my eyes after taking notice to Ben's worried stare. "I don't know where that came from. I guess it's because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"I didn't either," he admitted scratching his head. After a pause he added, "You don't need to apologize, though, Emilia. If you feel like crying then let it happen."

"Have you met my family?" I questioned rhetorically. "That's just not done."

He chuckled. "Good point. I think your mother views emotions as a weakness. When I was trying to reason with Mickey's secretary on how to reorganize the filing system at the office your mother pushed me aside and got in her face like a drill sergeant. Poor girl."

"That sounds like my unpredictable mother. She's a real delight."

"Forget about them for now. Just forget about everything and feel what you want to," he said soothingly. "Allow yourself to enjoy this."

"I'll try," I sighed, glancing back at the ocean for only a moment, but my eyes were drawn back to Ben. I wasn't sure if it was the dimming lights or the way his eyes sparkled, but he almost looked as though he was growing younger before me. I found myself reaching out to touch his cheek, to feel if the wrinkles really were disappearing, but he stood and turned before I could.

"We should get back before it gets too dark," he said gravely and led me back to his jeep.

* * *

After a week of camping, we went back to his… our home. The days went by as pleasantly as they had when I had first come to stay with him. Most days I was left to my own devices —giving me time to sort out my designer's portfolio, which I could never find time to do while at school— while he worked in his office trying to mend my family's business.

I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty seeing the frustration in his eyes when he stepped out of his office every night, but he always tried to hide it from me. Even when I asked how everything was going he would usually smile and give me a response along the lines of, _Great. Just the usual business of hunting down the right people._

With his time taken up fixing my family's mess of a company I rarely saw him and had become so familiar with my solitude that I was surprised when he joined me on the couch.

"Long time, no see," I said looking up from my sketchbook.

"I thought I should take a break and visit with you since you're leaving in a few days," he said taking my sketchbook from me and placing it on the table. He then took my hand, turned it palm side up, and placed a key in my hand.

"What is this?"

"It's a key to an apartment near your campus," he told me. "Your apartment."

I stared at him gaping. "I can't accept this."

"I am in full support of you finishing your degree, but I will not have my wife living in a dorm."

"I don't know what to say," I choked, nearly too stunned to speak. "Ben, I appreciate this, but I have a roommate that I can't abandon."

"I remembered you mentioning her and I already planned for that. The apartment has two bedrooms."

I shook my head and stared down at the key, stunned."This is too much."

"Please accept this," he said closing my fingers around the key. "Consider it an early birthday present."

"But I feel like I owe you. What can I give you?"

"You married me," he said. "That's more than I could ask for."

At that, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. Gradually he embraced me back, but once his arms were around me I wasn't sure he would ever let go. He buried his face against my neck and I felt him breathe me in as he hugged me closer.

Stunned by his affection I slowly turned my confused face to his and for a moment I thought he might kiss me. But hesitantly, he loosened his hold and moved away from me with an unreadable expression. After giving me a weak grin he stood and walked away without explanation.


	11. Chapter 11

**So August was interesting with Fanfiction. I was having a number of issues getting my cover art to stick, but soon found out I wasn't the only one having this issue. Thank you helpdesk forum! As soon as that was fixed then the story stats went down and as some of you might know the site was down for awhile. Anyways, looks like all is in order, knock on wood, I'm back, and I have two long ass chapters this time. Enjoy! Keep the reviews coming!**

* * *

"This is amazing," Hannah gasped as she walked into the apartment behind me. "Are you sure you can afford this on your own?"

"Ya. My family's business recently got the help we were looking for, so don't worry about anything. Whatever we need is covered," I told her feeling too ashamed to admit that my rich old husband had paid for it.

"I envy you rich kids," Hannah said as she dropped her box to the floor and walked off to explore. "Holy shit! We each have our own bathroom. No more communal living? I'm so lucky you're my friend!"

"I'm sure I'll be paying for this someday," I said, my gaze drifting as I began to feel a little overwhelmed by my gift from Benjamin. "We all do in the end, right?"

"Better in the end when you're old than when you're young with the capability to really enjoy it," Hannah added before leaving to get more boxes from the moving truck.

"I guess," I mumbled as I walked around the spacious apartment.

I knew this kind of apartment wasn't an easy find in San Francisco and neither was it a cheap. I could only guess at what the rent must have been a month, but still I'm sure I was have guessed too low. _You've outdone yourself, Benjamin Rogers_ , I thought to myself before stepping out the door to retrieve the rest of my things.

As we set up our new apartment, which must have been at least three times the size of our old dorm, we chose a corner to make our work space. We each had our own drafting boards and desk, but I took up most of the area with my sewing machines, long work table, and supplies that I had in storage up to this point. Hannah didn't seem to mind as she was content just having enough space to where our chair's weren't bumping into each other every other minute.

"I want you to know when I'm a famous architect someday I will remember this," Hannah said as she hung up one of her blueprints. "You will be at the top of the list of all my posh parties."

"And I'll design your posh party dress," I added as I organized my spools.

"Of course!" she agreed. "By then you'll be a famous designer yourself and probably married to some gorgeous man."

I snorted. "I don't think so."

"What? Don't tell me after you graduate you're going to maintain this strange celibate lifestyle of yours."

"I didn't say anything about that."

"Then it's the marriage thing you're iffy about? I can't blame you there," Hannah said while searching through her pencil box. "I don't think I'll ever marry."

I gave her a weak grin and went back to unpacking. I desperately wanted to tell her about Ben, the dreams, and my marriage, but I had a feeling that Hannah wouldn't understand. In fact, I could almost assume she would think I was crazy and I didn't want to risk our friendship, so I decided to continue keeping that part of my life a secret.

After unpacking the rest of my things, I waited until Hannah was in her room sleeping before sneaking out our apartment with my cell phone. It was late, but seeing that Ben had called ten times I was sure he wouldn't mind a late call and sure enough, after two rings, he answered.

"Hey, I was worried about you," he said. "Were you able to get everything in order?"

"Ya. Everything went smoothly," I assured him.

"I still wish you would have let me help you with the move."

"I know, but I'm not ready to explain our relationship to Hannah yet. I don't think she'd understand."

"I see," he said in a faint voice. He then cleared his throat and asked, "So do you like the apartment?"

"It's beautiful—original woodwork, open, lots of natural light, it's not over the top, but it's beyond anything I would have ever expected. This is too much, Ben. How much is the rent a month?"

"'Don't worry about the rent. I'm paying for it and I could never do too much for you."

"Ya, you could," I corrected him. "This is too much for a woman you haven't even slept with."

"I didn't realize that you still thought I was this creep out for one thing."

"I don't. It's just," I let out a long breath, "I'm feeling a little unworthy of it all."

"You are worthy of it all and more," he told me.

"Thank you and… thank you," I answered awkwardly. "I'm not sure what else to say."

"Nothing. You don't have to say anything, _ma souris_ ," he said soothingly.

" _Ma souris_?" I chuckled. "You did not just use French on me."

"I did. My mother was French, so I speak a little," he explained bashfully. "Are you against terms of endearment?"

"No. I just never had anyone call me any, not even my parents," I explained. "It's something I'll have to get used to, but it's nice… I think. What does it mean?"

"My mouse."

"Your mouse!"

"Because you're so small," he laughed. "I promise you, it is a term of endearment."

"In France," I added. "All right. I'll take it." With a yawn, I glanced at my phone screen checking the time. "It's pretty late and I'm worn out from moving. I should probably sleep."

"Yes. Me too. I've got a pile of work to do tomorrow."

"Again, thank you… for taking care of my family's mess."

"I do it for you."

"I know, but still I appreciate it."

"Always. Goodnight, _ma souris._ "

"Goodnight, Ben."

* * *

The next morning I woke naturally and with full sunlight streaming through my windows, which wasn't a good sign at all. It was the first day of the semester and I should have woken to the sound of an alarm. After realizing my mistake and staring at the clock in horror, I launched out of bed, dressed in the first outfit I could find, and rushed out the door. By the time I made it to campus I was already 15 minutes late for class and crossed my fingers, hoping I could slip into class unnoticed.

After entering the room undetected, I found a seat next to a familiar face. "What did I miss?" I whispered.

"Nothing much. Here, sweetie," Devin said handing me a pile of papers. "I noticed you were gone, so I grabbed you a copy."

"Thank you." Flipping past the syllabus I stared down at a page with a list of references and terms for Victorian period wear. "What is this for?"

"We're making costumes for some sort of victorian theatrical production," he said unimpressed. "So overdone, in my opinion."

But I couldn't be more excited. This was one of my favorite eras for clothing and the fact that it was a theatrical production took off some of the pressure because it meant fewer restrictions. My mind went wandering as the teacher was talking and I should have been listening, but I never did when inspiration took over. The world dimmed around me and all I could see was the making of my creation.

Over the next week, I obsessively planned out my design and gathered inspiration. Remembering the impressionist style painting of lavender and wheat in my bedroom at Ben's I began to collect ideas from other impressionist paintings. There was one still life painting in particular that drew me in. In it the woman was wearing a beautiful dress of plum, which was one of my favorite fabric colors, so after some further research I began sketching away.

Once my design was approved by my teacher I then picked out my fabrics. For weeks after I found myself fanatically focussed, cutting away at satin and tailoring my dress to perfection. Everything came together smoothly and I couldn't have been happier over the end result. But Admittedly, I was anxious to show Mrs. Hecker my masterpiece. At first glance, Mrs. Hecker looked laid back with her bohemian style, but she was a perfectionist and never held back her opinion.

On the day of our scheduled meeting, where I would show her my dress and receive my grade, I felt confident in my work. I had done exceptionally well with the ruffling of the skirt and structuring of the corset, probably better than I had ever done on any dress, but as I pulled the dress out of the garment bag Mrs. Hecker's eyes widened in dismay.

"What is it?" I questioned inspecting it for an untrimmed thread.

"You used the wrong stitch," she said sternly. "This isn't period correct for the sewing machines used at that time."

My face fell and I looked down at my dress on the verge of tears. "But I thought since we were doing costumes for a theater production…"

"Theater?" Mrs. Hecker interrupted. "I explained this the first day of class. My friend is a costume designer for a tv miniseries and I assured him that everything we made would be period correct."

"Oh God! You're kidding me," I gasped. Slowly I began to remember all of Mrs. Hecker's lectures on the importance of stitches and keeping things accurate. Believing we were making costumes for a theatrical production I had thought the lectures were odd, but my realization came together too late.

"But I worked so hard on it already," I said feeling my stomach turn. "Do you have to turn it over to him? Can't you just give me a grade for it?"

Mrs. Hecker shook her head. "Not a passing one. No studio would accept this."

"You don't understand. I've worked on this nonstop for three weeks!"

"So did your other classmates and they used the correct stitch and materials," she said eyeing the acrylic piping. "This is something you must get use to. In the real world, there are expectations, but..." she sighed holding up the dress, "I'll tell you what, I'll give you until next class time to fix it."

"That only gives me five days," I whispered as I dragged my hand down my face.

"That's my final offer."

I swallowed down my tears and nodded. "Okay… fine. I'll do it."

Sitting on a bench outside the campus I began to feel as though I would vomit. I knew it would take more time ripping out the seams then it would take to create a whole new dress, but I didn't have enough time to start over. I wasn't sure what I was going to do and for a moment I almost considered taking the fail.

Hearing my cell phone ring I swallowed back my tears and answered, "Hello?"

"Emilia?" It was Ben. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing you can fix. I'm just screwed."

"Tell me what happened," he said calmly. "I want to help."

"I messed up on this big project. I used the wrong stitch and my teacher is only giving me five days to fix it. By the time I pick all the stitches the fabric will be ruined, so I'm just going to have to make an all new one or at least attempt to," I blurted out but struggled to continue feeling my throat tightened. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to help you," Ben assured me. "One of my sister's old friends is a designer and I think she still lives somewhat close. The last I heard she was in Seattle. Just give me a few hours to call around, all right?"

"You don't have to do this, Ben."

"I want to."

"I'm lucky to have you in my life."

"If you only knew how lucky I am to have you."

"Thanks again, Ben."

After that, I began dragging myself back to my car and once I was back at my apartment I crashed on the couch, happy that Hannah wasn't around to witness my miserable state. After about an hour of staring at my ceiling, I heard my phone ring and saw that it was Ben again.

"Hi."

"How are you?" he questioned.

"I don't feel like I'm going to be sick anymore, so I guess that's good."

"I'm glad. So, Sabrina no longer lives in Seattle, but you'll be happy to know she's actually in L.A. and said she'd be happy to help."

"You're kidding me!"

"She said she's free tomorrow around noon. Would that work for you?"

"Yes!"

"I'll text you her address then and… this is odd to ask you, but could you do me a favor?" he questioned in a tone laced with apprehension.

"I think I owe you one. What is it?"

"If you can avoid speaking about me I'd appreciate it. I'm a different person then I use to be and I… I don't want you getting the wrong idea about me," he seemed to word carefully.

I fell silent at the request and was about to ask him to explain why, but I already knew the answer would be something along the lines of his usual vague response.

"Fine," I finally answered.

"Thank you," he breathed. "Call me if you run into any issues. I worry about you Emilia and... I miss you."

"I miss you too," I admitted in a small voice.

He fell silent and I wasn't sure he was still there until he added, "Keep me in the loop, all right?"

"I will. Bye, Ben."

* * *

I walked down the street towards a sleek contemporary style business complex. After entering, I found a flight of stairs and began my search. I walked around the building completely lost until I came to a door with the silver numbers 103 to the side. I looked down at my phone to double check the address and taking a deep breath knocked. A short woman with a warm complexion, black curls twisted into a knot, and long dark eyes hidden behind a pair of blue rimmed glasses opened the door.

"Hi. I was looking for Sabrina."

"You're Emilia, right?" she said with a broadening smile.

"Yes," I replied a little baffled. "You're not Sabrina, are you?" I had expected someone older after Ben told me she was a friend of his sister's.

"I am."

I blinked. "Sorry, it's just that... I thought you'd be older."

"Oh really? Do I look that young?" she asked complimented.

"Well, Ben said you were his sister's friend. I guess his sister was a lot younger than him?"

She stared at me confused before answer, "No. Celine is older than him."

"Oh," I responded and decided maybe Sabrina used older models for her collections.

"Well, come in," she chuckled opening the door for me. "He told me you were having a design class emergency."

"More of a design class crisis," I said following her into a white and gray studio with streamline furnishing, impeccable lighting, and the only wall decor a large canvas painting of a girl walking through the rainy city streets with a indigo umbrella. There was something about the painting that seemed familiar.

"Benjamin's mother painted that for me before she died," Sabrina told me after taking notice that I was eyeing it.

I turned to her astonished. "You knew Ben's mother?"

"I knew the whole family. I use to spend my summers with them," she explained.

I opened my mouth to ask her more, but quickly closed it, remembering my promise to Ben.

"So, let's have a look," Sabrina said leaning forward on a long white table.

I proceeded to pull out my beautiful plum and black Victorian dress and explained my situation. I found myself crying as I came to the part where the teacher told me that I used the wrong stitch and that she wouldn't accept it. Sabrina patted my back in an attempt to sooth me and gave me her opinion.

"Let me tell you this, your teacher is full of shit. I actually worked on movie sets. This would be acceptable. No one is that picky, but I suppose if that's what she's asking for then we must do our best," she said running her hands over the bustle and up the back of the dress bodice. "Even though the zipper is hidden it will have to go and I'll show you a way of ripping the stitches without ripping the fabric. I have some lovely Victorian style buttons we can use in its place." Turning it over she inspected the front of the skirt with a concentrated brow. "I am worried about ripping out the more visible stitches. I don't want to ruin your fine work, but what we could do is cut out the piping and hide the exposed hem with some sort of trimming… perhaps black lace?"

"Do you think that will work? I mean… what if she flips it inside out and sees the previous stitches?"

Sabrina rolled her eyes. "That would be ridiculous. If she's judging it off period correct appearance for a movie then the underside shouldn't matter. If she gives you any problems you let me know. I'll call her and set her straight."

"I guess anything is worth trying at this point," I sighed. "But how are we going to sew the new trimming on here with the machine?"

"We're not." Sabrina's mouth formed into a long smirk. "If she wants authentic we're going old school. I hope you have steady fingers because we're going to be sewing all this on by hand. It could take all weekend. You up to it?"

"Ya. Let's do this."

After two days of sewing, the tips of my fingers felt raw and my vision blurry from concentrating on tiny seams, but it was worth it. Sabrina taught me more in that time than I had ever learned from any class and by the time we were done I had made a new friend.

"Do you think we got it all?" I asked as I looked over the plum dress with the same scrutiny I believed Mrs. Hecker would have.

"I know we did," Sabrina assured me as she tucked the dress into a garment bag. After zipping it up, she handed to me. "Call me if she gives you any shit, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"I'm so glad we got to meet Emilia and even happier that Ben finally settled down with such a wonderful girl," she said hugging me. "You take care of him. He hasn't been the same since everyone disappeared."

Despite my promise, I could no longer keep my mouth shut. "What do you mean?"

She tilted her head at me. "You mean you don't know?"

"I don't know much about him at all," I admitted.

"Hmm… perhaps I should let him be the one to tell you about that," she said tapping her temple in thought. "However, it may be too painful for him to talk about."

"Maybe you should tell me then," I urged.

"I'll tell you this much," she started. "It must have been nearly 10 years ago that his father remarried this horrible woman. After that, there was a string of issues with his business caused by her. I remember Celine went in trying to remove Vivianna from the business and from her father's life."

"Vivianna?" I questioned having never heard Ben mention this names before.

Sabrina's brow lifted. "Huh, you really don't know anything about him. Vivianna was his stepmother."

"To be honest I never met any of his family. What happened?"

"They all went missing," Sabrina said in a hushed voice as though someone was listening. "After that Ben had to step away from school and take over the business."

My brow furrowed as I tried to understand all she had told me. Nothing added up. Sabrina said Celine was older than Ben, but talked about her like they were the same age, which couldn't have been more than 35. Also, she said around ten years earlier Ben's father had remarried, then went missing, and that Ben had to drop out of school. The timeline didn't match someone Ben's age and I began to fear that I wasn't with who I thought I was with. I wanted to ask Sabrina more, but I could tell she was anxious about what she had already told me, so I said my goodbyes and headed back to San Francisco.

That night I tried to focus on my school work, but I couldn't seem to shake the idea that I was with someone who may have stolen another person's identity. The only other realistic theory I could think of was that I wasn't with the Ben from Sabrina's story, but that I was with the father who went missing.

At one point, I was so disturbed by the possibility that I contemplated contacting the police, but in the end remembered Ben's promise that he would never deceive me. In my heart I felt there was more to this than what it appeared to be. I knew so little of Ben, but what I did know was that he was honest.

The next morning my uncle, whom I hadn't heard from since the dinner that started it all, called to congratulate me on my marriage. As if my worries had been whispered in his ear by the wind he seemed determined to put them to rest with his effusive description of what Ben had accomplished for the company.

"I know you're talking with him a lot, straightening things out, and I hate to ask this, but do you think he's hiding something, Mickey?" I asked while shading in a design I had for another class. "Like does he seem like someone that's leading a double life?"

"Not at all. You should see what he's done for us Emmy. He's recovered twice the amount I thought he would and he really put Kris in his place," Mickey laughed. "It was the best thing I've ever seen. You're parents have let your brother get away with crap too long and I never could say anything because I'm family, but that didn't stop Benjamin."

"Ben was there?" I questioned dropping my pencil.

"Ya, for like two weeks digging through old accounts and contacting clients non-stop. He spent days just scanning files and sending them off to some guy named Ted at his Seattle office, who seems to be a miracle worker as well. Anyways, we no longer have to file bankruptcy! He saved our asses."

"He's good at that," I muttered.

"Look, I know he's a lot older than you, but Benjamin's a good guy. I know you're not talking to your parents right now because they didn't approve of you getting married, but I more than approve."

"Thanks, Uncle Mickey."

"Well, I should let you go. I've got a few things here I need to start working on but call anytime," he said, "And know that you and Benjamin are always welcome to my house."

"I appreciate that. Bye, Mickey."

After the call, I stared out the window trying to make up my mind about how I felt. In one hand I knew I had every right not to trust Ben due to all the secrecy. On the other hand I think I was drawn to that. He was a puzzle and I had the pieces. I just wasn't sure what picture they were forming.

But what it came down to is what I already knew and what my uncle Mickey had to remind me of; Ben was a good and honest person. So, I put aside the theory that Ben wasn't who he presented himself to be and instead I considered another theory. One I had little evidence of, but felt strong intuition about. Still, I wasn't going to rely on intuition alone. I needed to know more about the man I married.


	12. Chapter 12

**In case you didn't know, I put out two chapters this time and you'll want to read both chapters 11 and 12 because there are things within them that come up in later chapters.**

* * *

There had been a million things bouncing around in my head since my dress fiasco and I was more than ready to have peace of mind. In an attempt to calm my nerves, I decided to spend the day at the Asian Art Museum with my sketch pad. To my luck I found they were having a textiles exhibit and time slipped by unnoticed as I became engrossed in the intricately woven designs of the ancient fabrics. My growling stomach eventually tore me away and I made my way back to the apartment with takeout in hand.

For the first time in weeks Hannah was actually home the same night I was. We watched TV, laughed about things that happened in our classes, and stuffed our faces. The last of the tension I was feeling about my dress melted away, but I still struggled with my feelings toward Ben. They had drastically changed since we first met and despite the ups and down, being away from him made me realize how much I missed him.

When I closed my eyes that night I found myself imagining us together, except he was his youthful self that always appeared in my dreams. In my fantasy, his lips passionately met mine and his hands roamed down my body, pressing me against him. I had to admit that outside my dreams he wasn't a bad looking man for his age, but in his youth —or at least how he presented himself in my dreams— he was ridiculously handsome. I hated to own up to it, but I yeaarned for that version of him and it left me frustrated.

The next day I woke up feeling tired and grumpy, but I pulled myself together. It was my first day back to class and I had to turn in my dress. To my relief, Mrs. Hecker didn't inspect it there in front of the whole class and told me, _I'll look at it later and email you my decision._

After two days of panicking, I finally received an email from her asking me to come to her office. In an attempt to make a good impression and show her that I was serious about design, I dressed as professionally as I could in a floral dress with a fitted black blazer and nervously made my way there.

After knocking on her office door, I heard her call, "Come in." But when I stepped in she was busy typing up something on her laptop and continued on as though I wasn't there.

I gulped and took a seat across from her. "Hello."

"Thank you for coming," she said in her usual monotone voice as she finally closed her laptop and met my eyes. "I didn't cut into your class time, did I?"

"No. I'm done for the day."

She gave me a forced grin. "Good. Let's talk about the dress."

"All right," I breathed shifting uncomfortably in my chair.

"I've got to be honest, I wasn't sure if you could commit to what I asked of you." She paused, "However, I see you did and not only did you succeed, but you made the dress look even better. I would just like to know how you managed to do it."

I took a breath before answering, "Well, you said in the real world there are expectations, so I decided to treat this like a real world situation. If I was a designer hired by a studio to do a project and they weren't happy with my work I would pull my resources together and try again. In this case, my resource was another designer and she not only helped me correct my mistakes but taught me a few things." _I had practiced this speech more than once on the way there and was relieved that I managed to remember it._

"Which designer?" Mrs. Hecker questioned.

"Sabrina Rosales."

"Really?" Mrs. Hecker eyes lit up. "Hm? I know of her and I will call her to confirm this, but for now I would like to tell you that after looking over your dress I found it worthy enough to turn over to the studio. They were so impressed that they decided to make it one of the dresses for the female lead."

"Are you serious!" I gasped.

"Yes, and after I get some sort of confirmation from Sabrina Rosales that she helped you and didn't do the work herself then I will give you a passing grade."

Tears filled my eyes. "Mrs. Hecker… thank you so much! If you need proof that I did the work just look at my fingers," I said holding out my hands.

She looked them over and raising a surprised brow asked, "You did the stitching by hand?"

My expression of joy melted into worry. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No," Mrs. Hecker said. "It's impressive. Good work, Emilia. I look forward to seeing what else you can do in the future."

After leaving her office, I rushed back to my apartment. Once there I jumped around and laughed, revelling in my accomplishment. I wanted to shout out the windows in celebration, I wanted to call everyone that ever doubted me and tell them they'd being seeing my dress on TV, and I wanted to thank the person that was behind my current success.

I rummaged through my purse and took out my phone to call Ben, but with a sly grin I decided to text him instead: **Brain invasion time**. After hurrying to my room, I laid on my bed and closed my eyes, but had a hard time falling asleep since the sun hadn't yet set. I wasn't even sure he got the message as he hadn't texted me back, but I had to try. A phone conversation would not suffice.

After turning on some relaxing music, I began to unwind and finally, I was able to fall asleep. My dreams led me back home to Montana. It was summer and I was sitting on the lake dock. The blue skies above made the lake look like a sparkling gem and beyond it I could see the rolling green hills and mountains disappearing into the white clouds. Taking it all in, I momentarily forgot why I had entered the dream and my mind began to drift.

"Hello, _ma souris_ ," said a deep warm voice behind me.

I looked over my shoulder seeing Ben. As he sat next to me I slowly turned to him and stared at him, unsure of how to phrase my gratitude. He was his usual young dream self, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, silky brown hair tousled about by the light wind, and looking as handsome as ever.

"Ben," I breathed, throwing my arms around him and feeling my eyes well with tears.

He wrapped his arms my waist and he brought me to his lap. His finger brushed through my hair and down my back as he took several deep breaths. Then taking my face between his hands he asked, "Do I need to have words with this teacher?"

"No," I chuckled releasing my hold so I could wipe my eyes. "They're happy tears. I passed and my dress was considered one of the best!"

"That's wonderful," he smiled as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs.

"If it hadn't been for you and Sabrina… Ben, you've done so much…" I sputtered, "Just…everything…" I didn't know where to start on my list of things he'd done for me and I wasn't sure that list would ever end, so instead of words I twined my fingers through his hair, leaned in, and kissed him. After a stunned-stiff moment he kissed back, but not with a tenderness like mine. His kiss was needy and his hands soon matched, traveling down my back and grasping my hips.

I didn't even consider pulling away as I felt his hands run up the back of my dress. Instead, I gave back, grasping onto his shoulders while I rearranged myself from sitting on his lap to straddle him. With a pleased moan, he deepened the kiss and as our hands wandered it became evident to both of us that the relationship had become more than just an agreement. I could feel his need for me in his every caress and as I began to feel my own desires rapidly expanding into all my other emotions I became dizzy and flushed.

"I want to be with you," I panted as I broke away from our kiss and ran a hand over his tense jaw line.

"You are with me," he said with a ragged breath before brushing my hair to the side and placing warm-wet kisses down my neck.

"No. I mean really be with you... like in your bed."

He slowly pulled away and searched my face as though he misheard me. "What?"

"I think I'd like to move our marriage to the next step," I hinted further.

He gave a grim look. "Like in this dream?"

"No. Like with you," I said searching his eyes. "The real you."

"That's ridiculous," he mumbled and looked away from me. "You don't want to sleep with an old man."

"I didn't really see it that way," I whispered moving away from him. "What I wanted was to sleep with the man I married."

He let out a long sigh. "You can't mean that, Emilia."

"I do. I don't want another man... unless you haven't been honest about who you are." As I said it I immediately regretted it.

"What do you mean by that?"

I couldn't let him know what was said between Sabrina and myself, so I quickly came up with a cover. "You said your a man who loves me. Why wouldn't you want me?"

He stood and brushed his hands through his hair with a look of aggravation. "I do want you Emilia, but I don't expect you to… you shouldn't want to sleep with the me outside of your dreams."

"Why not? These dreams always leave me feeling frustrated and I know they can't really give us what we need," I said standing up behind him and running my hands down his back. "Are you afraid I won't like you once we're in bed? Trust me I've seen so many naked bodies at Art School that I don't exactly look at flesh the same..."

"No. It's not that," he interrupted. "It's…" he let out a frustrated groan and turned around looking down at me conflicted. "If this is what you want then I have some conditions."

"Is it something to do with your big secret?" I questioned agitated.

"Yes. It does."

"What are the conditions?"

"If we sleep together it must be at night and," he paused with a looked of apprehension before continuing, "The lights will be off."

I scowled and crossed my arms. "So it's my body you don't want to see."

He snorted. "Not even. I'd have you prancing around my house naked and in full light if it were up to me."

I tried to fight away my grin as I asked, "Have you thought about that a lot?"

"You have no idea," he said loosely wrapping his arms around my waist. "Every morning I wake I wish to see you next to me, wearing nothing but tangled up blankets."

"You have that part right," I said wrapping my arms around his neck and standing on my toes so I could whisper in his ear. "I always wake up tangled in my blankets, but I'd rather be tangled up with you."

At that, he let out a low moan and grabbing my bottom pulled me closer. "I think about how you'd taste as well," he muttered as he nibbled his way from my bottom lip, to my chin, and over my jawline. "But you're right. We can't do everything in these dreams."

I let out a shuddering breath and raked my fingers through his hair, pressing him closer, and coaxing him to continue his descending kisses. He complied, wrapping his arms more firmly around my waist and lifting me so that he could have better access. His lips continued to tease their way down my neck, over the top of my breast, and as he sat me back on my feet he kneeled down before me. Gradually he began lifting my shirt and as I felt his warm lips touch just below my navel I expected him to become more ardent, but his kisses grew feathery light. Even the feel of his hair between my fingers was beginning to fade and as I lowered my gaze to look down at him I found myself staring at a pile of blankets. I was no longer asleep.

Letting out an irritated groan, I violently turned in my bed and tried to return to the dream, but desire and yearning pulsed through me like a drug, not allowing me to. I needed him and knew these little dream dalliances weren't going to cut it. On impulse, I stuffed some of my clothes into a bag and grabbed my keys.


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is rated M for reasons... I tried to be suggestive rather than explicit in an attempt to adhere to the vague M rated guidelines. I think I accomplished it with this chapter. Not sure about future chapters. I may need to cool those off a bit, but warning, the next couple of chapters will also be M rated.**

 **Again, just to clarify this chapter contains sex and a little profanity, so it's not suitable for a younger audience.**

* * *

It was 10:00 P.M. by the time I arrived at Ben's house. Having my own key, I slipped in past the front door and crept my way up the stairs. I could feel my heart racing as I came to his bedroom door and I began to realize how insane I was being. _Who does this? Who drives a state away in the middle of the night because they're horny?_ It was beyond my usual spontaneous antics, but there was no turning back.

Closing my eyes and biting my lip I steadied my breath before grabbing the bedroom door handle, but as I turned it I found that the door was locked. The whole drive there I couldn't stop fantasizing over the idea of waking him up by curling up in bed next to him, but it seemed that plan was out the window.

So with a gentle knock I called softly through the door, "Ben? Are you awake?" He didn't answer, but I could hear his smooth sleeping breath. "Ben," I called louder.

"What?" I heard him gasp in a groggy voice and then heard him bumping into something. "Who's there?"

"Your wife," I answered.

"Emilia? What are you doing here?"

"I… I was tired of being away from you," I said nervously. "What are the conditions?"

"Conditions," he muttered quietly to himself, probably still half asleep.

Pressing my ear closer to the door I listened to him moving around the room and I began wondering what was taking him so long to come to the door. Then I heard what sounded like the drawing of curtains and a lamp being turned off. After that, I heard a shuffle of steps moving closer to the door, so I took a step back.

"Emilia, It very important that you don't see me," he reminded me from the other side of the door. "Can you promise me this?"

"Yes," I said ready to agree to anything to be with him.

"I can promise you this in exchange. The night after our one year anniversary there will be no more conditions and no more secrets ever again."

"I can see you then," I clarified, letting him know I understood. "Just not tonight."

"Yes."

"All right, just let me in," I practically begged. "I drove all night to be with you."

With that, he cracked open the door and let me slip through. Once I was in he quickly shut the door behind me and I found myself in a pitch black room.

"You weren't kidding about the lights off, were you?" I commented holding my hands out to feel around.

"I'm sorry," he said taking my hands and bringing us closer together. "There you are," he murmured running his hands up my arms and grasping my shoulders.

As his hands found their way to my face, and gently traced my features, I held perfectly still. It was odd, his fingers didn't feel like that of an older man's but more like the smooth strong fingers of someone younger. They traveled from my brow, over my cheekbones, and glided smoothly over my lips. They were such innocent touches, yet my toes curled in anticipation.

"Ben, why can't you tell me what you're hiding?" I asked with a shuddering breath as I felt his fingers brush over my shoulder, grabbing the end of my braid and removing the hair tie.

"I'm hiding nothing," he muttered unconvincingly as his fingers freed my wild hair and brushed it down my back before grasping my waist. "Please, just trust me. Don't pull away from me now."

"I'll trust you," I breathed, but as much as I wanted to ignore it there were so many questions. However, I knew if I began asking them they would end what had just started. _It can wait_ , I told myself as those worries gave way to incitement.

Although it was dark I could sense that he was preparing to kiss me and when his lips finally met mine I froze in surprise. It was just like the kiss in my dreams. His lips were smooth and his kiss tender, but only for a moment. As his hand buried deep within my hair his other hand drew me closer and the kiss deepened. Wrapping my arms around him I pressed my body against his and began kissing back with equal need, tasting him and relishing in the feel of tongue brushing against mine.

In the back of my mind I knew I was kissing a man who was well beyond my years, but as my fingers found their way to his silky hair I imagined it as dark brown rather than silver and as my hesitant fingers came to his face I imagined his wrinkled skin as smooth. I concentrated on the image of the youthful him so much that his skin actually felt like that of a younger man's and his build felt more youthful; straighter, taller, and firmer. Slowly I began to realize I wasn't imagining it at all.

My lips stilled against his and dropping flat to my feet I broke away from our kiss but kept my hands on his face. My fingers traced around his eyes; not a crease, they brushed over his cheeks; tight and smooth, over his jaw; firm and strong, and lastly around his mouth; no smile lines. The only noticeable line on his face was the long dimple on his left cheek. With a gasp, I jumped back.

"Who are you?" my voice trembled.

"It's me, _ma_ souris," he answer taking my hands in his to keep me from running away.

"It sounds like you, but you don't feel," I swallowed, "...how I expected."

"It's one of those things I told you I couldn't explain yet," he told me. "I promise there is no deception here. This is truly me."

The dilemma of worry and suspicion resurfaced. I wanted to believe him, but all the secrecy was making it difficult to trust him. I knew he was waiting for me to act or say something, but I felt divided. Part of me trusted him, another part of me didn't; part of me felt unsure and the other part of me certain. What it came down to was what I had always relied on when making choices—my passion and intuition.

Gradually, I stepped forward and rested my hands to each side of his waist. "Okay. I trust you," I muttered running my thumbs over the muscular contours of his hips. "But this isn't going to work very well unless we lose a few layers."

He let out a sigh of relief and leaning down to my ear he whispered, "Thank you," before placing a trail of burning kisses down my neck, relighting the desire within me.

With a moan my fingers found their way to the hem of his shirt and needing to feel more of him I began lifting it. He moved away from me, helping me pull it over his head, and after discarding it he reached for me and brought my body flush against his. He felt warm and solid and between the chaos of emotions and lust I was done listening to the questions bouncing around in my mind. In fact, I was done thinking in general. I just wanted to feel and what I felt was surprising; a firm chest and defined muscular lines along his stomach.

"You're in good shape," I gulped, resting my fingers on the elastic of his boxers.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" he asked in a husky voice as I felt his hands come up to cradle my face, lifting it as though he could see me. "We don't have to rush this. We can take it slow."

"I'm tired of taking it slow."

"I need to be honest with you. I never thought this would happen, so I don't have protection," he admitted regretfully "So maybe we should…."

"It's fine. I'm on the pill," I interrupted dragging his boxers down while sliding my hands over his firm-rounded bottom.

"Are you…" he started to say, but his words were replaced with a rumbling groan as I ran my hand up the length of him. "It won't be easy to stop once we get started," he finally managed to get out.

"I don't want to stop. I can't do… whatever we were doing. I want a real relationship. I want you."

I had never been intimated in complete darkness and I expected it would be clumsy, but Ben seemed to know exactly where I was and what he was doing. His long fingers glided under my clothes and deftly removed them. With our bodies free of obstructions, our grasping-exploring hands became restless and our tasting kisses just as frenzied.

His hands… god, those strong hands, and those long fingers made me realize how cheated I had been in previous relationships. They moved over me slowly and deliberately, waking my body with a kind delicious torture I never wanted to end. The stroke of his fingers became teasing caresses at times and other times massaging, but there was nothing unsure about his touch.

His lips began to explore next; nipping here and nibbling there; moving lower and wetter until I was panting and rolling my hips against him in a silent plea for more. He answered and had me trembling and clinging to the bedding in a matter of moments, but even then my desire wasn't sated. He must have sensed this because as my breath began to steady he made his way back up my body and supporting his weight over me he placed feathery light kisses over my eyelashes, down the bridge of my nose, and lastly on my lips.

"You're holding off," he murmured as he caressed his cheek against mine.

"I am," I admitted, placing my knees to each side of him and running my fingers down the contours of his back. "Will you, please… just..."

"It's been a long time for me," he whispered against my neck, his breath causing goosebumps to cover my skin as he positioned himself. "I wanted to satisfy first," he added before slowly sliding into me.

With a whimper, I arched into him and closed my eyes melting into the sensation of him deep within me. I couldn't see him above me, but by the way his fingers tangled tightly in my hair to the way his panting lips kissed mine I could read what he was feeling. It was what I was feeling; the start of blissful gratification.

As he drew out and glided back in I sucked in a sharp breath through my teeth and clung to him.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked pulling away.

"No," I breathed grabbing onto his hips and pulling him back in. "You feel wonderful… really wonderful. It's just," I struggled describing what I was feeling. I was so lost on the brim of my feelings that I wasn't even sure I had a rational thought left. All I knew at that moment was dizzy turns of warmth and tightening-pulsing flutters.

"Like every nerve is lit up like Vegas?" he breathed against my neck, with a hint of humor to his tone.

"Pretty much," I lightly chuckled.

His hands found their way to my face and his fingers danced over my features. "I wish I could see you right now," he said sweeping his fingers over my parted lips.

"Just turn on a light," I pleaded.

"I can't. It's…"

"One of those things you can't tell me yet," I finished for him.

"This is... kind of interesting, though," he murmured as he ran his hand between us, eliciting a gasp of pleasure out of me. "Everything is so unexpected."

I rubbed against his fingers and impatiently tightened my legs to his sides. "Yes... it is," I panted as I rolled him to his back so that I could ride him.

It seemed to ignite a primal behavior in both of us and our lovemaking became feverish. Each movement was desperate and reaching and our rhythm became frantic as we clung to one another. Between moans, our lips met in open mouth kisses and shivers built into waves of pleasure until we both cried out and became staggeringly undone.

I had never climaxed at the same time with a man and I wasn't prepared for how our bodies would call out and intensify the other's. Though this wasn't my first time I still felt Ben had unlocked some part of me; a part of me I didn't even know to exist. After I wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh, so for a moment —though I felt ridiculous for it— I quietly did both while Ben held me and ran his fingers down my back.

As I rested my head on his shoulder, twiddling the soft hairs on his chest, I didn't care which Ben it was. I knew I wasn't going to find what we had with anyone else and a seed of love began to grow in my heart for him, but I wasn't ready to fully acknowledge it. My feelings were so raw from what we had experienced together that I wasn't sure I trusted them. If I still felt as strongly the next day then I'd tell him.

* * *

The next morning Ben woke to his 5:00 a.m. alarm and out of habit almost turned on his bedside lamp, but as he felt a slender body nestled to his all the exquisite memories from the previous night flooded his mind and instantly aroused him. He almost reached for her, to draw her body closer to his, but as much as he wanted to act on his desires he couldn't. The sun was rising. So, carefully he moved Emilia off his arm and gradually got out of bed.

Feeling around his room he managed to locate his clothes from the previous night and was about to leave his room, but the temptation of his wife drew him back to her side. With steady hands, he found her shoulder and brushed her long wavy strands out of his way so that he could kiss her sweet neck. Her breath remained steady, so taking his chances he turned on his bedside light to see her.

Her delicate hands rested under her serene face and her long waves of ash blonde and lavender hair were fanned out behind her. Against his sage green sheets, she looked like a nymph asleep in a meadow. He wanted to undress and curl up against her, but seeing his wrinkled hands he knew it was too late for that. With one last look he drew the blankets around her, lightly kissed her cheek, and left the room.

As he drank his morning cup of coffee his feelings were mingled between bliss from the intimacy he had with Emilia to anger over his curse that kept him from being with her as he wished to be. He wondered if Vivianna was wickedly watching him from afar, pleased with herself.

"That fucking witch," he muttered bitterly as he went to his living room and searched his music collection for something soothing. He skipped around on his playlist until he was satisfied. Hearing the steady waves of music, he at last found some peace of mind and crashed on the couch.

Closing his eyes, he let the night replay in his mind but in his fantasies he could see Emilia. He imagined what she would have looked as she straddled him and moved with him, her long hair flowing around her and lips parted in a pant. He could almost picture her beautiful expression of pleasure as she trembled against him and cried out his name.

 _God, I need a cold shower,_ he thought to himself.

"Is this Satellite Anthem Icarus?" he heard from a distance.

Startled, he opened his eyes, sat up, and saw Emilia at the end of the stairs. She was only wearing a smile and one of his t-shirts that fit her more like a dress. After skipping her way across the room she flopped down on the couch with a contented sigh and leaning in was prepared to kiss him, but he stopped her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

 _What am I doing?_ he thought as he stared at his beautiful wife, all feisty and ready for more. But the regretful realization became clear as he looked down at his wrinkled hands and biting his cheek he finally said, "I just think we need to save the intimacy for night."

Hurt and confusion swept over her face. "I don't understand. I just thought after what we shared last night we were on different terms with one another."

"We are Emilia. What we had was beautiful and absolute, but I'd prefer," he paused, letting out a frustrated breath and continued with a look of remorse. "I'd prefer you to keep the illusion that you shared that with a different man. Not this old one."

"It was you I married Ben. It was you I chose to sleep with last night," she said taking his hand in hers and tilting her head to meet his averting eyes. "I admit at first I imagined you as your younger self and I'm not entirely sure you weren't that man last night, but by the time you started touching me I could have cared less. You made me feel like," a small grin pulled at the corner of her lips, "like I was experiencing something on a completely different level. It was the closest I ever felt to another person and I was hoping you felt that too."

"I do, Emilia," he said bringing her hand to his lips and brushing a gentle kiss over her knuckles. "What we had was amazing, but I'm not comfortable with us being intimate when you can see me."

Jerking her hand away from his, she stood to her feet. "That doesn't make sense! Why would you want me in your life as your wife if you only wanted me to be intimate with you in the dark? Couldn't you just get that from some hooker?"

"You're construing my reasoning as some sort of fetish," he said trying to control the anger in his voice. "I don't want to keep it this way for selfish reasons. I'm doing it for you."

"Is it because you feel self-conscious?" she questioned still trying to find a deeper meaning.

"No, it's just one of those thing…"

"Just one of those thing," she hissed. "I'm getting real sick of hearing that."

His mouth was open as he struggled to respond, but she wasn't going to let him. She marched up the stairs, got dressed, got her things together, and walked out the door so quickly he didn't have time to react.


	14. Chapter 14

**I think I can call this the halfway point. I've started working on the second half which is where the story will really get moving (and starts to resemble the fairy tale) so those chapters may come out a little slower than I've been posting.**

 **Thank you again for the reviews and keep them coming!**

 **And as warned in the previous chapter this chapter is also M rated.**

* * *

My phone kept ringing as I angrily made my way back to California, but I ignored it. I had had enough of the emotional push and pull in our relationship. I was typically a carefree person, but his secrecy was turning me into someone else. Not only that, but there was nothing I resented more than someone telling me how I was supposed to feel. I couldn't be with him until he realized that. He should have realized that by now.

For weeks, I ignored his calls and his pleading text as I focussed on my school work, but I couldn't deny how much I missed him. Our night together was now a part of me. Every night I tried to sleep I was haunted by the feel of his soft lips against my breast, his scruffy chin tickling me as he kissed his way down my body, and the press of his fingers in my flesh as he drew me closer to him. In his every touch and action, he had shown me love, yet I wasn't ready to let go of my anger.

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked.

"Ya," I said with an attempted smile.

Hannah gave me a dubious look. "No, you're not. Spill it."

"It's nothing. Just family issues."

"Is your mom trying to persuade you into becoming an accountant again?" she guessed, sitting back in her chair.

"Thankfully no. Just life and relationships."

She arched her brow at me and the corner of his mouth twisted upward. "You have a boyfriend."

"No."

"A girlfriend?"

I chuckled. "No."

"You know I don't judge, Emilia. You can tell me anything."

I took a deep breath and thought of how to word it without giving up my secret. "You know my sister Cecile got married not too long ago, right?"

"Ya. Didn't you say this guy was a douchebag?" she asked knotting her recently dyed blood red hair back with a pencil.

"I may have, but forget that for a moment. Things have changed for them. Greg is a better person now and completely in love with her," I lied changing the story to match my own. "He's been the perfect husband lately and has done so much for her over the last few months. More than she knows how to repay, but at the same time he's been secretive and distant. She got mad at him for it…"

"Good for her," Hannah interjected.

"But she still loves him," I continued. "So she's not sure if she should give him another chance or just move on with her life."

"I say she should continue on with her life," Hannah said. "Sounds like he's cheating on her."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Let's just say she knows he's not, but knows he's suffering from something that happened in his past and she feels he's not being honest with her because he's trying to protect her from this past."

Hannah thought this over for a moment before saying, "I don't know. This is why I don't do relationships."

"Come on. I need your opinion on this."

"Alright. If I were her I would tell _Greg_ ," she said his name with a tone of disgust, "that he should realize hiding his past is not protecting your sister. The point of relationships is two people creating one life and you have to share the good and bad… which is why I don't do relationships. I'm quite happy having my life to myself."

"Ya. I suppose it is," I sighed and returned my gaze back out the window.

"Remember, you can tell me anything, Emilia."

"Thanks, Hannah," I said looking over my shoulder at her with a grateful smile. "I think I'm going to go for a small walk, just to clear my head."

Making my way to a nearby park I rummaged through my bag and found my cell phone. I took a deep breath and sitting down on a park bench I called Ben.

"Emilia," he answered with a relieved breath.

"Hi."

"You called," he said in a thready voice. "I hoped you'de call. I've been so worried since you left. Are you alright?"

"I guess," I answered shortly.

"I'm sorry for all my strange behavior and I don't blame you for reacting the way you did. I deserved it, but I promise it won't always be like this. One day I will be an open book to you. I know it's too much to ask, but please trust me on that."

I didn't answer straight away but letting go of my grudge, piece by piece, I said, "I would trade all the things you've given me for just a moment of normalcy between us. I just don't understand how you can be so loving with me one moment and so distant the next. You say you love me, but you keep things from me. How is that love?"

"I know and maybe I was selfish for not thinking of how difficult this would be for you before I brought you into all this. I'm sorry for that, but now that I have you I don't want to let you walk away. That's selfish too. I know it is, but I love you, Emilia. I love the way you see the world. I love your rebellious nature and I love your taste in music. I love your flowery scent, the way you look, and if you only knew how much I want to see your face when we made love then you would know this isn't an ideal situation for me either."

With my anger replaced with longing, I let out a long breath. "I wanted to see you too, but that's not going to happen anytime soon, is it?"

"Not yet, but there will be a day. Please, just trust me," he begged.

"I will as long as you don't push me away."

"I won't make that mistake again." He paused for a moment before adding, "I'm aching to hold you again."

"I miss being with you too," I admitted. "I'll be there again for winter break, which isn't too far away."

"Good," he said in a tone of relief. "I'll be counting the days."

* * *

I was running late. I had told Ben I'd be back to his house in time for dinner, but between my last minute packing and traffic I pulled into his driveway four hours later than expected. It was already dark and I knew he wouldn't be downstairs, so after entering the house I made my way up the stairs.

"Ben, are you in there?" I called, pressing my ear against his door. "I'm sorry I'm running late." I knocked, but the silence remained on the other side of the door. "Ben? I'm sorry. I forgot to do my laundry and then there was—"

Before I could finish my list of excuses the door cracked open, a large hand reached out grabbing my arm, and quickly pulled me into the darkness. "It doesn't matter," was murmured in my ear as his hands firmly grasped my waist. "You're here now."

As before I was unable to see him, but as he captured my lips and pressed my body against his strong form I quickly discovered he was already naked. I moaned contently as I dragged my palms over the muscular contours of his chest and melted into our kiss as his tongue traced over mine. During our time away I had tried to imagine the feel of him against me, but I realized how weak my imagination was when it came to Ben. No amount of fantasizing could equate to the splendor of his firm hands migrating down my body and his wet curved lips against mine.

Impatiently, I wiggled out of his embrace and quickly began removing my clothes. He joined in pulling my underwear down to my ankles and then slid his hand up my inner thighs. I moaned as I felt his fingers slide between my folds while his other hand roamed over my backside and his lips and tongue began their own exploration. He had barely begun and already I felt a build rising within me.

With a moan, I grasped his shoulders as my legs began to tremble and with his arms securely holding me upright he kissed his way back up my body. While his lips trailed fiery kisses up my stomach, between my breast, and over my shoulder he lifted me and brought my legs around his waist. His hands remained on my bottom, raising my body further up his so that he could nibble and kiss my breast. Reveling in the feel of his lashing tongue and grazing teeth, I tangled my fingers in his silken hair and whimpered an incoherent plea for more.

Any other time I would have enjoyed the lingering kisses and caresses, but it had been too long without him. Impatiently, I tightened my legs around his waist and sensing my eagerness he chuckled against my breast. Slowly, he made his way up my neck and as his lips found mine I realized he was lowering me onto him. Gradually he entered me and even as I gasped he didn't break our kiss. Instead, his lips formed against mine into a satisfied grin before deepening the kiss and groaning in pleasure.

There was nothing leisure or tender after we fell onto the bed. His movements were without restraint and so were my cries. Feeling I couldn't get enough of him my lips and hands moved over him frantically, touching and tasting all that I had missed while I was away. It was a relief to finally have him again, but it was also difficult knowing I'd have to give him up once more to return back to school. I wasn't sure I could.

"I needed this," he whispered wildly in my ear, speaking the words that were in my mind. "I needed you so badly."

I was too lost to the feeling of my clenching center and the tingling warmth where we joined to give any intelligible reply. Instead, I just clung to him and met his movements with equal desperation until we were utterly spent.

There was something almost magical about our time together in the darkness after we made love. I almost believed if I remained quiet enough I could hear the sound of our connection, as though it were a physical thing. In a way I think we preferred the silence because words seemed unnecessary. With each touch, that silent understanding grew stronger and awoke a communication that was done on a deeper level. Still, there were three words he had already said to me that I hadn't to him; three words that were on the tip of my tongue since he pulled me into his room.

With our initial carnal reuniting out of the way we laid on our sides, his body curled around mine and cuddled under the blankets. But, our cuddling didn't last long as our hands began to roam and with our arousal rekindled we brought our bodies together a second time, moving together slowly and savoring each brush of our bodies until we both came.

"Can we do it that way every time?" I asked with a contented sigh as I turned around to feel his warm chest against mine and to see his face through touch.

He hummed a laugh and kissed my thumb as it swept past his lips. "I wouldn't be against it."

"Was I too loud earlier?"

"No. Be as loud as you want. I love hearing all your sounds of pleasure," he practically purred as one of his hands slid over my bottom.

"I don't want to sleep," I said tangling my legs with his. "I want to enjoy this as long as I can."

"Me too," he sighed before lifting my chin and bringing my lips to his for a kiss.

His kiss left warm pools in my stomach and did so to the point I was sure I would drown within my own feelings. In a way, I wanted to. I wanted to let go of what was holding me back and sink into everything that was becoming us.

"Ben?"

"Hm?"

My heart was thrumming with feelings of love, but as I went to say it I found my voice refused to work. All the unusual circumstances of our relationship resurfaced in my mind and an anxious knot tightened in my stomach.

In the end denial won out and instead I stupidly said, "You have really nice arms."

"Thanks. You have a really nice everything," he said giving my bottom a teasing swat.

We were playful with each other after that and our moods remained light. He told me stories of his life in Washington, of the follies of his wild youth, and of all the festivals and concerts he had gone to. It should have left me feeling at ease knowing more about his mysterious past, but all it did was leave me more perplexed since many of the bands he mentioned were from more current music genres and the people and scenes he described didn't seem to match the past of someone his age.

Nothing about him seemed like the man I saw during the day. Physically he felt younger, his voice sounded less rough, and his flexibility matched that of someone in their 20s rather than their 60s. With everything I had gathered and heard, I could hold back no longer.

"I know you probably won't answer this, but I've got to ask because no matter how much I try to accept everything, I can't," I said. "Are you truly Benjamin Rogers or are you someone else… like his son that has some sort of bizarre arrangement with him because I just feel like I'm being tested."

"No Emilia," he said, gently brushing his fingers through my hair. "It's really me and I promise I would never test you. Also, I would never let another man touch you."

"Sorry, but can you blame me for trying to come up with different theories?"

"Not at all. I just feel awful for making you go through that at all." He then fell silent and after some thought added, "I never want to make you feel unsure or insecure. I love you. When you're not around I wonder if you're happy and safe. I miss the sound of your voice… your scent." He let out a content sigh. "Our conversations, even your snark. It's a never ending list. My love for you is endless. I think that's the first time I've ever felt that way for another person."

I thought this over and began to contemplate my own feelings for him. I missed him terribly when I was back in school and sex with him was mind blowing, but I didn't feel like I could describe my feelings for him as endless. They had a wall and that wall was built with bricks of suspicion and mistrust.

"I guess there are just different kinds of love," I muttered but meant only in thought.

Ben tensed. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," I lied. "Just babbling, I guess."

"No. I'd like to know," he said honestly and without threat. "I want to know how you feel."

"I don't really know how I feel, Ben," I admitted, "Or I just don't know how to trust those feelings."

After a long silence, he moved away from me saying, "The sun will be rising soon. I have some things I have to do." I then heard him get out of the bed and pull on his clothes.

"I guess I'll be here when you get back," I said despondently.

He let out a heated breath. "I'm sorry," he said sitting next to me on the bed. "I'm just frustrated."

"Because I'm being indecisive?" I assumed.

"Not so much that. I just hate this obstacle between us and I'm ready for it to end," he muttered before placing a kiss to my forehead. "But, I promise we'll make it through this."

After that he left, leaving me in the darkness and feeling all the more lost.


	15. Chapter 15

With all his doubts and fears, his time in his office was short-lived. His relationship with Emilia had gone far beyond what he expected it to, but he couldn't close his eyes to the fact that she still didn't trust him. He wanted her to, but he knew he gave her no reason to. He began to think that Vivianna saw how this would all play out and knew Emilia would eventually turn her back on him.

 _Why else would the_ witch _have been so willing to compromise with a curse?_ He thought.

Consumed with worry he prepared for the worse and wrote out a letter. After grabbing a key out of his desk, he left the house and walked towards the winery. The weight on his shoulders was somewhat lifted as he took in his surroundings. It was a typical chilled winter's morning, the sky was a pale gray, a light snow clung to the ground and vines, and the only sound was that of a light wind. It reminded him of the few times he visited his family in France during Christmas with his mother. To his knowledge, his grandmother was still alive and managing a vineyard of her own. He hoped to one day reconnect with his family there and to introduce them to his beautiful wife, but he wasn't sure how likely that was anymore.

As he approached the winery Eddie came out of the to greet him. "There you are my friend. I wasn't sure I would ever see you again, but if I had a beautiful young wife at home I don't think I'd ever leave."

Benjamin felt his cheeks redden as his smile broadened. "It wasn't easy," he admitted. "Shall we catch up inside?"

Eddie nodded and opened the door. "There's a bottle of pinot gris begging to be opened."

After pouring their glasses, Benjamin took out an envelope from his inner coat pocket and placed it before Eddie. He then reached in his jean pocket, pulled out a key, and laid it on top of the envelope.

"What is this?" Eddie questioned.

"A letter for Emilia and a key to my safety deposit box at my bank. It contains my will," Benjamin told him.

Eddie's brow lifted in surprise. "Why are giving this to me Benjamin?"

"I'm entrusting it to you. If anything should happen to me I need you to make sure Emilia gets this."

"Are you having health issues?" Eddie asked concerned.

He shook his head and took another sip of wine. "Luckily no. I just fear my past coming back to haunt me."

Eddie brow arched suspiciously. "You aren't involved in something illegal, are you, Benjamin?"

"No. It's nothing like that," Benjamin assured him. He then let out a long breath as he sat back in his chair contemplating what he should tell Eddie. "Do you believe in curses?"

Eddie's head bobbed back and forth in deliberation. "My mother always believed in them. It was part of her culture, but I grew up here," he explained. "I suppose I don't have an opinion one way or another about them. Why? Are you cursed?"

Benjamin nodded and felt relieved that Eddie asked the right question because he wasn't sure how much he could actually say. "I know that sounds crazy and I wish I could tell you more, but I'm bound to secrecy. As wonderful as things are in my life I still fear that I'll lose it all." A knot formed in his throat at the thought of losing his life with Emilia, but clearing his throat he continued. "If something happens to me or if I go missing can you do this for me? Can you make sure she gets both of these."

"Of course," Eddie agreed with his brow still creased in concern. "I only hope that day never happens."

"Me too, Eddie," he sighed.

After leaving the winery, he drove around for awhile until he found himself sitting on the beach. The winter's frosty grasp hadn't taken hold of it yet and other than the crisp breeze it didn't look that different than it had in early spring. Despite the waves crashing and the dark clouds looming above, the view still offered him solace and he sat there for many hours thinking and worrying.

His biggest fear was no longer of Emilia discovering the truth too soon, but of her crossing paths with Vivianna. He wanted to hide her away and keep her safe, but Emilia was not a caged pet. Though she was patient and understanding he had learned she could also be impulsive and resented anyone trying to tame the side of her.

 _I could never take away her wild nature or make her change her life_ , he thought to himself. _It is who she is, it is why she took a chance on me, and it's why I love her._

Coming to acceptance that he couldn't control the future and feeling a little more at peace he finally drove home. When he got there the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. He quickly enter the house and raced his way up the stairs before Emilia could see his changes take place. Entering his dark room he stripped down to his boxers, but before slipping into bed he walked over to his window and peeked through his black curtains, watching the sky grow dark.

As the last of the sun disappeared beyond the horizon he felt the changes in his body take place. It was wonderful. Someone young really didn't know the pains of an old body and feeling his youth return to him was like feeling the first warm spring winds after winter. The aches disappeared, his posture straightened, his hips became firmer, and his skin smoothed. He brushed his fingers through his hair feeling the wiry white hairs become soft and silky and running his hands down his face he felt wrinkles vanish. He began to let out a sigh of relief, but his breath caught as he felt another pair of hands move over him.

"Hi," Emilia whispered while running her palms over his abdomen and up to his chest.

"Hi," he breathed pulling her arms tighter around him. She rested her cheek on his back and brought her bare body against his. "Have you been here all day?" he asked.

"I went downstairs to eat, but since I didn't get much sleep last night I decided to go back to bed. I woke up when I heard you come in." There was a pause before she added, "I missed you."

"I missed you too and I'm sorry... for everything. I shouldn't have gotten upset."

"It doesn't matter. I just want to forget it all. In fact, I've been thinking all day about this and… I'm ready to stop pressing things. I accept whatever this is that we have and I think since it's a unique relationship we shouldn't have to feel the pressures of a normal relationship. I just want to enjoy each other."

"I agree," he said turning around and feeling around for her face. Gently taking her chin he tilted it up and leaning down, brought his lips to hers. As he kissed her he ran his hands down her body, cupping her breast, and caressing along the curve of her waist with growing desire.

"Can I be selfish again?" he asked.

"About what?"

"I want to see you"

"You want me to turn on the light?" she questioned confused.

"No. I just want you to stand you here," he said moving her before the curtains.

"You want to see me here?"

"Yes," he said feeling something between anticipation and thrill.

"Umm… alright."

"But remember, you can't see me because…"

"Ya, ya, ya," she interrupted.

He let out a short laugh before stepping back. "Can you open the curtain like 2 or 3 inches?"

"I think I can do that," she whispered.

He waited and watch as a small amount of light appeared between the curtains. As his eyes travel down from the top of the opening he found her beautiful silhouette. It was shadowed, but as the curtain gap became wider her inviting form became clearer. She was delicate and slender, yet shapely through the hips. Her long hair partially hid her breast and hung down in waves to the narrow of her waist. He could have stared at her standing there the whole night, but the temptation to feel her against him won out.

"Emilia," he said in a low voice as he reached out to her. "Please, come to me."

She did and with more willingness than he felt he deserved. She wrapped her arms around his neck and as their lips met she let out a sweet moan that drove him to his limits. That's all it took. He had a million thoughts of desires in his mind and wanted them all at once.

"I've been thinking about this all day," he murmured in her ear as he drew circles on her lower back and walked them back towards the bed.

"Me too," she breathed, bringing him down with her as her back met the mattress.

He couldn't see her, but he had come to know her very well. She always tried to hide behind a cool facade to most of the world, but when she was his lover she was all softness and sensuality. Feeling her in his grasp and hearing her little whimpers of pleasure made him feel as though he was on the edge of losing control. His mind was full of sparks and his heart ready to burst. He wanted to see her lose control and wanted her to see him for who he truly was, but that would have to wait.

After thoroughly exhausting themselves they laid tangled together in the dark, catching their breaths. Emilia cuddled to his chest silently and ran her fingers gently down his ribs. He couldn't see her expression, but he could sense she was in deep thought.

"Ben?"

"Yes, _ma_ souris?"

"I love you," she said without hesitation.

He stilled in surprise before pulling himself up into a sitting position. "You what?"

"I love you."

He let out a breath of a laugh that was half disbelief and have reverence. "You love me?"

"Yes," she replied in a hushed voice.

At that, he pounced on top of her and began covering her face with kisses.

"Ben!"

"I'm sorry," he breathed trying to calm himself, but his heart was racing. "Can you say it again?"

She leaned up to his ear and murmured, "I love you."

He let out a content sigh and hugged her tightly. "I don't think I've ever felt happier hearing those words."

"I don't think I've ever felt more sure saying them," she admitted.

For a long moment, he remained silent as he nuzzled his face against hers and tenderly kissed her. He wanted nothing to take away from that moment he had been waiting so long for, not even his own words. He only wanted to feel the beat of her heart against his chest and her soft breath on his neck.

"Your heart is pounding. Please don't have a stroke," she said placing her hand on his chest. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"I'm fine," he assured her, placing his hand over her's. "I just feel more hope than I have in a long time. I think the closest this feeling could come to is standing on top of a mountain."

She brought her hand up to his face and traced her fingers over his lips to feel his smile. "Had lots of experience with that?"

"At one time I did," he told her, kissing each finger that passed his lips before continuing. "But there was a particular moment that comes to mind. One before my family fell apart and we were staying in one of my family's cabins just outside of Gifford Pinchot National Forest. I think I was 15, lacked common sense and decided I was going to hike up one of the smaller mountains there... alone and with little equipment. I wasn't an experienced climber, but something just called to me, so I followed my heart right up the mountain. After half a day of hiking, climbing, bruises, and scrapes I finally found my way to the top. I remember feeling as if I could see beyond the curve of the world and into the heart of all life. It was spiritual, humbling, and made me feel like I never understood who I was until that point. I felt as though I was somewhere east of the sun and west of the moon. I was everything at that moment, yet nothing. That's how I feel now. Having your love makes me feel as I could do anything and be anything, yet I don't think I'll ever feel worthy enough for it. Not yet at least."

"When then?" she questioned sleepily, snuggling to his side.

"Soon," he muttered. "Very soon."


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up feeling like I was sleeping on a cloud. I didn't realize the weight of keeping my love a secret from Ben and the more I thought about it the more I recognized that I had started falling in love with him further back than I realized. I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment, but I had a feeling it was during our honeymoon hike on the beach. That's when I first truly saw him for who he was and it just added further proof to what I had seen that previous night.

Wanting to have some physical evidence of my theory I decided to go on a search through the house, but before my search I had to make sure he was distracted enough not to catch me. After slipping into my pajamas, I walked down the hall to his office and knocked.

"Come in, _ma_ souris," he called to me.

As I walked in I saw him staring at the computer screen with a concentrated brow.

"Dealing with my family's mess again?"

"Not today. Just a mess with my own family's business," he sighed running his hands through his hair. "I think one day I'd like to step away from this all together and live an enjoyable life with you."

I walked up behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders. I wanted to curl up on his lap, but as he wished I kept my distance to save our intimacy for the night. "Do you need anything?"

"No," he said patting my hand. "This might take me awhile, so don't wait up for me. Do what you like today and maybe later tonight we can stroll down to the winery and visit David before he leaves tomorrow."

"Where's he going?"

"To visit family in Arizona for the holidays."

"Ya. I'd like to see him before he leaves," I said leaning down and kissing the top of his head.

After leaving the office I quietly began searching the insides of closets, rummaging through drawers, and peering over the tops of shelves, but after several hours I fell short of finding much of anything. He was a man who made sure his secrets were well hidden. Why would I have expected any less?

"He probably keeps it all locked up in his office," I mumbled crossly, giving up on my search.

After a stop off to the kitchen to grab some hummus and pita chips, I found my way to the living room and began running my fingers down the shelf of CDs. I wasn't sure what I was in the mood for but stopped at one of my favorite CDs of a band that got their start in Missoula, Montana.

 _I was beginning to believe I was the only person alive to know this band_ , I thought to myself.

As I opened the case I noticed something tucked into the cover and I pulled it out. It was a picture of what looked like four high school aged guys. From the faint wear of the photo, their fashion, and the style of their hair I guessed it was a picture from around 10 or more years ago, but my scanning eyes locked in on one face in particular. It was a face I had seen many times in my dreams, a little younger, but without a doubt the same man.

"It can't be," I said running my fingers over the picture, but it just proved what I had seen the previous night was not part of my imagination.

When I had stood, very naked and exposed, in front of the window a ribbon of moonlight gleamed between the curtains and Ben reached out to me. For a breath of a moment, I saw his hand. To my surprise, it was smooth and with no age spots, but from his wedding band and a long scar on his wrist I knew it could be no other than his.

I quickly made my way up to my room and after studying the picture once more I hid it in my suitcase. Falling back on my bed I stared up at the ceiling and searched my mind for a reasonable explanation, but there was only one conclusion I could draw from what I had gathered. He wasn't old. He was enchanted.

When I heard a knock on the door I nearly fell out of bed. "Yes?" I choked as I sat up.

He stepped in at first smiling but noticing I was startled his expression went to concern. "Is everything alright?"

"Ya," I said with a tight smile. "How are you?"

"Ready for a glass of wine I think," he admitted. "Would you like to join me?"

"Umm… actually I need to leave soon. My sister's been having some problems with her husband and needs me," I lied. "Would you be alright with me spending a couple of days in Montana? I'll be back before Christmas eve."

"Of course," he said studying me skeptical brow. "Do you need anything before you leave?"

"No. I'm good thanks."

"I hate to ask this Emilia, but could you keep some of the details of our life together from her?"

"Like what?"

"Like some of the things I haven't been able to explain to you yet. I know it's frustrating, but just keep them to yourself for now and when I'm finally able to tell you more I'll also tell your family."

I gave him a forced grin. "Ya, I can do that."

"Thank you and be careful on the roads," he said stepping forward and taking my hand. "And call me when you get there."

"I'll be back before you know it."

* * *

On the way to Montana, I called my sister and told her I was coming to her house for a surprise visit. She was eager to see me since we hadn't seen each other since my wedding, but I was feeling more than anxious. With everyone else I could maintain my secrets, but with Cecile it was impossible.

"I'm surprised to hear from you Em," she said. "Have the days of marital bliss finally ended or have you just come to your senses?"

"You sound like mom and everything is fine with my marriage, thank you. I just wanted to see my big sis and maybe get your opinion on some things."

"Everything's fine, huh?"

"I'm just having a hard time processing some things," I reluctantly admitted. "But I'd rather talk to you about it in person than over the phone."

"Well, come on over. I'll be watching for you."

Ending the call I prepared myself for what I'd tell Cecile. I shook my head and let out a rueful laugh. My theory of Ben was insane and though I knew she wouldn't believe me I didn't care. She would at least listen and I was desperate to tell someone. I felt I was ready to burst keeping everything in so long.

"Hey kiddo," she said opening the door for me. After helping me in with my luggage, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug.

"Hi. Thanks for letting me come over. I just had to get away for awhile."

"I would too if I was married to an old man," she said leading me into her living room.

"No, it's not that and don't make any assumptions on him treating me badly because he's giving me more happiness than I could ever wish for," I told her as I plopped down on her blue couch.

She scrunched up her face. "Spare me the details."

I chuckled. "I'll try, but some details I can't because… hell, I'm not sure what's going on Cecile. It's this secret he's been hiding from me and I think I've finally unraveled it, but… I can't believe it."

"In what way?" she questioned.

I hesitated with what to say next. It was something beyond my comprehension and I did want her opinion, but I was afraid she would judge the situation too harshly.

"So I know this is a detail you probably wanted to be spared, but it's an important detail. He always turns out the light before we do anything. I've actually never seen him naked. In fact, I've never seen him any of the nights we sleep together."

"Yuck, ya. That's enough details there, but…" she paused shaking off her disgust. "Do you think it's really that weird? I mean, maybe it's because he's self-conscious about being an old bag of bones."

"Stop Cecile. He's not that old."

"Yes my dear, he is. He's like older than dad. I'm sorry Emilia, but it's creepy that you're sleeping with him."

"It's not creepy. It's been the best sex I've ever had," I sighed. "It's like he has more secret knowledge on my body than I do. It's crazy. I don't know how to explain it, but I can feel his love for me in his ever touch."

"Eww. That's just messed up on so many levels," Cecile said before going completely still. "Crap," she gasped. "What if the reason he never lets you see him at night is because he's letting other guys have sex with you?"

"I think I could tell if I was having sex with a different guy each night. I mean even if I can't see him I still know it's him."

"So why not just turn on a light Emilia? I really don't see what it would hurt, other than coming to grips with that fact that you have been sleeping with the crypt keeper. If you're afraid it would wake him up maybe you could use just a dim flashlight."

I shrugged. "I don't know. That seems so sneaky."

"Come up to my bedroom with me," she said standing from the couch. "I don't want Greg interrupting our conversation… if he decides to come home."

"Where's Greg?" I questioned.

"He's in the doghouse… wherever that is."

 _I guess I wasn't lying when I said my sister was having marriage problems_ , I thought as I followed her up to her bedroom.

Once there she walked to her dresser and began searching through the drawers. "It's got to be in here somewhere," she mumbled making her way to her nightstand and opening that drawer. "Here it is," she said pulling out a flashlight and handing it to me.

"I'm sure I could have found a flashlight at Ben's and why do you have a flashlight by your bedside if you have a lamp?"

"I kept hearing noises at night and every time I went to see what it was… you know what? It doesn't matter. Take this and please, for my sake, just make sure you're truly sleeping with the right weirdo, okay?"

"Okay."

"What is it? Why do you look so gloomy?" she asked. "I feel like there's more."

"It's nothing. Things you wouldn't believe."

"Try me."

"Well… sometimes he appears to me in dreams, but looking like a younger, hotter version of himself."

"It could just be wishful dreaming."

"No. We talk about it the next day and he knows things from the dreams he couldn't have just guessed. I think, you're going to judge me for saying this, but I think that's who he really is. I think he's enchanted."

She laughed. "Real funny."

"I'm not joking around. I mean it! Wait here."

I ran down the stair and dug through suitcase finding the picture. I then ran back up the stair and returned to Cecile's room.

"I found this," I said handing it to her. "It was hidden away in a CD case." I then pointed to Ben in the middle. "This is him, the real him."

"Damn. Gorgeous young man and you're right. He does look like he could be a younger version of Benjamin but honey, it's probably his nephew of something."

"No. It's him. I know he's the man I'm with every night."

"You mean you think he suddenly becomes young at night? That's what you're telling me?" she questioned cynically.

"Yes. I think he's enchanted or something."

"You do realize how crazy that sounds?"

"Yes, but, argh," I squeezed my hands. "I know in my heart there's something supernatural to this."

"I know I joked around about you being lost in a fantasy world, but this is more like delusional."

I raked my fingers over my scalp, exasperated. "I know it's not. I know without a doubt he becomes this younger man at night."

"There's only one way to find out," she said looking down at the flashlight.

The next morning I left Cecile's and returned back to Ben's to spend Christmas with him before returning back to school. As I walked up to the house he was waiting by the door.

"Hey," I said hugging him.

"How was your drive back? Are the roads really icy in Montana?" he asked.

"They're getting that way, but it wasn't bad," I said as I felt him grab me by the shoulders and turn me around. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see," he said bringing a blindfold over my eyes. "Do you trust me?"

I chuckled. "I guess. Are things about to get kinky?"

"No, but don't tempt me," he joked.

Guiding me up the stair I was sure we were headed to the bedroom, but to my surprise he brought me to a ladder. After I struggled to climb it he lifted me and pushed me up to another floor, which I could only assume was the attic. Coming to stand behind me I felt him untying my blindfold and as it dropped he revealed to me the design studio from our first shared dream.

My mouth dropped and my eyes widened as I walked to a wall of shelves supplied with different fabrics. I ran my fingers over the varying textures before making my way to a long table with sewing supplies and a sewing machine. All the essentials were there and in order. My eyes then drifted to one corner of the room where there was a desk, a computer, and a graphics tablet. And in the middle of the room were different body forms and a drafting table. My eyes filled with tears and I turned to him speechless.

"Do you like it?" he asked coming to stand before me. "I asked Sabrina what would be needed to supply a design studio, so I hope I didn't leave anything out."

"This is…" my voice started cracking before I could continue and I threw my arms around him. "Thank you, Ben. I don't know what else to say. I don't think I have the words to express how grateful I am for this… for you."

He hugged me back. "One day you'll learn that I am the luckier one to have you."

"You're going to laugh at my gift," I said pulling away from him and reaching into my purse. "I didn't feel right buying anything expensive for you since it's all coming from your bank, so I got you this." I then opened my hand presenting a small kazoo. "You may have forgotten all about this, though."

He looked down at it confused for a moment, but I soon saw recognition and amusement in his eyes.

"Mr. Darcy's kazoo solo," he grinned.

I laughed. "I know, it's ridiculous."

"No. It's perfect. It's the best gift I've ever received," he said putting it in his pocket and then taking hold of my hands. "I'll cherish it always," he whispered before placing a soft kiss to my forehead.

That night, after we made love, I waited for him to fall asleep. When I felt his arms become dead weight around me I slipped out of them and felt around the room for my bag. After finding it, I felt around for the flashlight and was prepared to do as my sister suggested, but in my heart I knew it wasn't right. Putting the flashlight back in my bag, I found my way back to bed and pushed my doubts away as I curled up to Ben.


	17. Chapter 17

**This is another M rated chapter for various reasons. It's also probably one of the more pivotal chapters. Those already familiar with the original tale knew this was coming, so I hope you enjoy. Thanks again for follows and reviews! I hope to see more. They fuel my writing so if you like the story keep them coming.**

* * *

A stick of birch stoked the fire, gold eyes flickered with desperation and kneeled down by the fireplace was a woman of unnatural beauty. She threw in the flames the ashes of a raven and with her beckoning hands curling before her she called forth a vision.

"Show me," her strained voice commanded. "Show me!"

Vivianna's powers were growing weak. She needed a man's soul every 10 years to survive and that marker was drawing near. It wasn't difficult to lure and leech the life out of a man. She'd done it for over 500 years, but this soul was so different. It burnt and charred her powers the day she was unable to obtain it, but why? Why? Why!

Benjamin Rogers Senior had been easy enough to draw into her web, but Benjamin Rogers Junior had a stubborn soul, yet she couldn't let it go. She had had a taste of it. It was rich with intelligence, charm, and a certain cleverness—no, an intuition she rarely found in men. Then there was his tenderness... Oh, that sweet tenderness and passion. How she wished to ruin it.

She again poked at the fire. "What is it about you, boy?"

But the fires remained silent and she didn't know where else to look. She had searched his father's ancestors; poor carpenters for many centuries until they found their wealth in more modern days. His mother's side was not that much different. They were peasants for many years and then winemakers; some still were, but there was no magic lineage on either side.

She drew away from the fireplace and paced about the room in thought. _He doesn't seem special at all, yet when I tried to take his soul I couldn't. What is it about—_

Then a realization hit her. Perhaps his soul had been bound to another. She had heard of such a thing from her incubus of a father, but she had never witnessed it in all her years. It was believed that some souls were connected by unfulfilled love… love that was broken or never completely forged; souls that tried to find each other lifetime after lifetime, but again this was more common among those who harnessed magic.

Her gold eyes sparkled and she fell to her knees before the fire once more. "Emilia… perhaps it was you I should have been looking at."

She breathed in and closed her eyes finding the core of her powers. When she opened her eyes again they blazed and the past began to reveal itself.

 _The time predated Vivianna by 500 years. A shepherd meandered through a valley in search of a missing lamb near a beach, but he stilled and hid when he heard voices in the distance. Peeking over a hill he saw Men, foreign men, coming off a ship. They began unloading swords and shields as if preparing for battle, but one of the men unloaded a treasure; a beautiful girl with clear blue eyes and flaxen hair._

 _Bound with ropes at her wrist, she held perfectly still and motionless as he carried her from the ship. But as soon as he sat her feet on the shingle beach she leaned down and bit into the hand that clasped tightly at her forearm. The man let out a growl of pain and in a faltering moment released his grasp on the girl. Without hesitation, she sprinted towards the pile of weapons, ramming her shoulder into a man that stood in her way—knocking him to the ground, and dragging the rope across the blade of a sword. Recovered, the man she had bit began stalking towards her, but freed from her restraints she raced towards the distant mountains._

 _"Forget her," said one of the other men. "We have no need of a seer now that we're on land."_

 _But the man didn't look convinced._

 _The girl ran and ran until she slammed straight into the shepherd who had witnessed her escape. She looked at him like a wild animal ready to bite anyone who stood in her way, but the young man only backed away from her and held out his hands, signifying that he had no desire to harm her. He spoke in calm words she didn't seem to understand yet her eyes softened and her shoulders dropped. There was a kindness in his blue eyes and a gentleness in his nature she believed she could trust, so she took his hand._

 _'Help me!' she begged._

 _And though he didn't speak her language he understood._

The water rippled and the vision began to fade, but Vivianna searched further, calling it back.

 _Hidden in the grasses the shepherd held the girl, whispering to her, "I won't let him have you."_

 _She didn't know his words, but her heart understood. "May the Gods helps us."_

 _But as she went to kiss him a sound caught in his throat and the whites of his eyes shown. A gleam caught at the corner of her eye. It was a sword and she followed it up to see the man holding it was the one she had escaped, her husband… not by choice but by force. A man who had raped her to gain two children, a man of cruelty who had just stabbed the only man who had ever shown her tenderness._

 _With a shrilling scream, she launched to her feet and began clawing at her husband. He slapped her hard across the face and held out the sword, threatening her, but she took no heed to his warning and with a mad look in her eyes she ran straight into it._

 _"My soul will find his," were her last words before she fell to the ground next to her dying shepherd; their love ending as quickly as it began and their souls restless for it._

Vivianna trembled as she ripped away from the vision. "No!" she rasped as she clung to rug under her.

She knew at that moment that Benjamin's soul could not be taken. His ancestor was the shepherd and Emilia's was the girl, their souls bound by the girl's last words. Unless Emilia broke that oath with betrayal Vivianna knew Benjamin's soul could never be free to take.

"Emilia!" Vivianna hissed as she searched deeper into the flames.

The vision of the girl began to appear. A serene look was in her green eyes as she stared out the window. A stationary pencil was in her hand and pressed against a pad of paper, but the girl's thoughts were elsewhere. A little smile played on her lips and a blush on the cheeks. Vivianna used all her remaining strength to search the girl's mind and though her thoughts were without image there were memories of passion, fulfillment, and unyielding love.

"She's become his lover." Vivianna's brow darkened her eyes. "Yet she hasn't discovered his secret."

But with her mind still connected she felt a flare of doubt in Emilia's thoughts. Vivianna's mouth twisted upward and her eyes lit up in delight. "Unravelings…" she muttered as she stuck her hands into the fire and drew out a flame, cupping it in her hands. "Doubts, distrust, and uncertainties to play with."

As she breathed into the fire it made a noise that started off as beautiful, like the sound of a finger circling a glass of water, but the sounds steadily grew and became that of cries; cries of the souls she had stole—cries of men whose remaining years had given her life.

Now that she knew Emilia's weakness she could speak to it and direct it.

"I wonder if you see it? Do you see his heartbreak? Do you see your own?"

After stirring in her spells, Vivianna felt all the more depleted of strength. She struggled to her feet, walked across the room, and stretched out on a couch.

"Alaina!" she called

A weary woman of 34 walked into the room. She had once been a girl in her 20s of beauty, but her time with the witch had given her grays and had stolen the light from her once brilliant blue eyes.

"Yes, Vivianna?" Alaina sighed. "What can I get you?"

"Nothing at the moment," Vivianna said making a languid effort to sit up and peer over the back of the couch. With a grimace, she eyed the woman. "You're looking so old lately, Alaina. I prefer to be surrounded by beauty."

"Not much can be done about that," Alaina sneered. "If you don't like to look at me why don't you send me away like you did my sisters?"

"I may as soon as your replacement arrives."

Alaina narrowed her eyes. "My replacement?"

"Yes. I'll be gaining a new servant soon. One much better looking than you and one that can provide more… sensual entertainment."

"You've found yourself a lover?" Alaina questioned. A touch of a relief brightened her eyes as she thought, _She's finally moved on! She'll leave Ben alone._

"It's the same man I've had my eyes set on for years," Vivianna said very matter of fact. "He'll be joining us soon enough."

Alaina's spine stiffened. "Leave him alone!" she rumbled in anger as she clenched her fist.

"Don't threaten me girl or I'll lock you up again."

Alaina had suffered enough years of being locked up that she didn't disregard the threat. The punishing nightmares that Vivianna spun into her mind had struck her soul and killed her courage. Defeated, she stepped back and lowered her gaze.

"Good," Vivianna said sinking back down into the couch, but her waving hand lifted. "Now go clean or cook or whatever you do for me."

Alaina turned and went back to her cold chamber. There she laid on the concrete floor and pleaded and prayed that her brother not be betrayed by this girl. Vivianna had anticipated and gloated about Ben's impending downfall for years, but she had never seen such certainty in the witch's eyes before.

"Let this girl free him," she pleaded. "Please! Don't let Vivianna have him!"

* * *

It was my last year of school yet that spring semester felt longer than any other. After weeks of naughty texting and less than innocent dreams I was more the ready to reunite with my husband. The memory of his seeking lips and touch seemed to take up the majority of my daydreams, but there were other thoughts that also consumed me. The theory that my sister suggested still left me on edge.

The last thing I wanted to do was betray Ben's trust. He'd done so much for me and had never deceived me, but at the same time I felt I deserved the truth. That feeling grew and grew until it no longer became a possibility, but a plan. I'll be very careful, so he won't catch me, I told myself. He won't even know I saw him. I just need to put this idea behind me and then we'll be fine. I can trust him after this.

When I arrived back home it was just before sunset, so I expected to find Ben retreating to his room. However, as I walked into a candle lit house, filled with the scent of something delicious, I knew he had further plans. Making my way to the kitchen I found Ben cooking and he looked over his shoulder at me with a big grin.

"Good. I began to worry you would be here later than you predicted," he said.

"With all the driving I do I've got it pretty well calculated," I said moving to stand behind him and running my hands over his back. "What's all this?"

"It's our 1st anniversary tomorrow," he said.

My mouth dropped. "I completely forgot."

"And tomorrow I'll be able to tell you everything, so I thought it was worth the celebration."

My brow lifted and my eyes widened. "You… you're going to tell me everything tomorrow?"

"Yes, Emilia and everything will be different," he said with his tone starting out gentle, but as his gaze grew distant so did his tone. "Everything will be restored and we'll be free to have the relationship we should already be having."

Lost on his meaning I stepped away from him to look around and noticed a vase filled with lilacs on the table. I leaned in taking in their scent. "Mmm... heavenly," I muttered as I made myself comfortable in a chair.

After setting the table, Ben joined me. I looked down at the creamy stew in my bowl and even though I was unsure of what it was the aroma made my mouth water.

"What is this?"

"Blanquette de Veau," he told me.

"French?"

"The name didn't give it away?"

"Huh? With snark on the side," I said in turn.

He gave me a wry grin."Forgive me, my love. I forgot that was your specialty."

"You're forgiven, but only because who could stay mad at a man that cooks for them?" I looked up at him with a curious brow. "You're always cooking. Why?"

"Why does anyone cook? To eat."

"I love eating, just not cooking."

"I love both, but I suppose I enjoy cooking because it reminds me of my mother. She loved making these big elaborate meals for my sisters and me," he explained. "And I loved eating. You may not believe me, but I was a very chubby little boy."

"I can't even imagine that. You're not in bad shape for someone your age." _And in even better shape when the sun sets,_ I thought, smiling to myself, remembering all the times he lifted me as though I weighed no more than a sack of feathers.

"Must be all the mountain climbing I did," he said pouring our wine.

"So did you always climb on your own or with friends?" I questioned remembering mountains in the background of the picture I found.

"Usually with friends. That's what we did during our summer breaks," he told me. "Did you do much mountain climbing in Montana?"

"My sister Liz did, but I preferred my time in nature just sitting and taking it all in, usually while sketching."

"You're always taking in everything around you. I love that about you," he said reaching out to caress my cheek. "I love everything about you and thank you for putting up with me. I know I haven't made it easy."

"I could say the same in return. There are few who have the patience for me," I said leaning into his touch and then turning to kiss his palm. "So thank you."

After finishing his meal, Ben strolled over the window and set his gaze on the sunset. "Maybe tomorrow we can make a bed on the porch and watch the stars fill the sky."

I was still poking at my food, but I dropped my fork and lifted my brow. "We… Can we do that? But I'll see you."

He looked over his shoulder at me with a sly grin and just as that day at the ocean he began to look as though he was growing younger.

"Yes. You will and I'll see you," he answered before making his way towards me. As he passed behind me he paused briefly, drawing his hand down my braid and gently placing it over my shoulder, letting his fingers caress down further to the side of my breast.

"Will you join me after the sun sets?" he asked continuing on.

"Yes," I answered in a breathy voice as I watched him make his way up the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

With a shiver of desire, I stood to my feet and brought myself to stand at the window where he had been. If I had power at the moment to reach into the sky and push the remaining half of the sun down I would have, but at last the final sliver of light dipped down into the horizon and I swiftly made my way up the stairs.

Entering Ben's dark bedroom I was greeted by eager hands that drew my body in and within minutes my clothes were stripped and his lips were upon me.

After stumbling our way to bed, his lips traveled over my body in searing kisses and each deliberate caress flooded my senses. In a way something felt different compared to all the other times we made love; as if each touch and kisses were fueled by the mysterious event that was to take place the next day and with each panting breath that intensity grew. My muscles tightened, my fingers dug into his back, and as I arched into him he whispered words of love in my ear that seemed to draw me closer to my climax than the actual act. When I finally found it I clung onto it as long as I could, locking my ankles behind his back and bringing him deep into me until he found his own.

The fire within him didn't stop there and before long we brought our bodies together again. When we finally exhausted ourselves we embraced each other under the blankets and caressed one another until sleep took him, but not me. I was once again haunted by my conversation with my sister and a voice that wasn't my own kept whispering in my ear, _What will it hurt? Just a peek and you can confirm what your heart already knows._

I was a fool at that moment as I stumbled out of the dark room, into my own, and dug around in my suitcase for the flashlight. When I found it I shivered in anticipation. I turned it on, testing the light, and found it had different settings. After adjusting it to its dimmest setting, I made my way back to Ben's room. With an anxious breath, I slowly lifted the light and shined it down on my husband.

There, snuggled to his pillow, was a beautiful man with a strong jawline, high cheekbones, long-curved lips, defined nose, and a tumble of thick brown hair over his closed eyes. He was the Ben I knew from my dreams and the shock of it caused me to gasp. My gasp stirred him and his eyes fluttered open to see me pointing a flashlight at him.

After blinking his eyes a few times they grew large with betrayal and he sat up in a panic. "Emilia… what are you doing?"

My shaking hands dropped the flashlight. "I…. I just wanted to see who you were."

I heard him throw the blankets around, jump out of bed, march across the room, and flick on the light. "You wanted to see this!" he shouted standing before me naked, with a wild look in his eyes. "Take a look, Emilia! This is the last time you'll see me!"

"What do you mean?" my voice wavered as I moved away from him frightened.

"I was cursed and had you waited one more day… ONE MORE DAY… oh God…" His voice grew faint, "I'm her's now."

"Ben, please... what you are saying doesn't make sense. What are you talking about?" I begged, reaching out to him.

His face had gone pale and his expression horrified. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters. I am no one now and we will lose each other, Emilia... You are lost to me now," he muttered like a madman as he pulled at the hair on his scalp.

"You're who's now!"

He swiftly made his way over to me, grasping my face with a force I never expected from him, and stared down at me with a heartbroken glare. The tears that glistened in his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, were caused by me and overtaken by my guilt my breath snagged in my throat.

"If she comes don't look at her, don't talk to her. Just run," he warned in a harsh tone.

"I still don't understand! What do you mean?" I asked grasping his shoulders and finding my breath, but it didn't seem to help. With my head swimming, my vision was growing hazy and an overwhelming drowsy sensation overcame me. The lights in the room began to flicker and Ben's eyes darted around in panic.

"Find Eddie," his distant voice called to me as everything became dark. It was the last thing I heard before my eyes fluttered shut and sleep overcame me.


	18. Chapter 18

Despite the darkness of the room, I could feel it in my bones that it was morning, but with the sound of rain outside I found it difficult to wake. Ben's absence in the mornings wasn't unusual, but what was different was my sudden and dreadful recollection of the previous night. All at once the memories of it hit me like a slap to the back of the head causing me to jolt upright. With my hands holding my aching head, I remembered his last look of betrayal. What I couldn't remember was falling asleep.

"Oh god!" I cried out as I shoved the blankets away and stood from the bed.

I began calling his name, but the house was silent as the grave, save my pounding heart. After throwing on my discarded clothes from the previous night, I walked around the house once more calling his name before going outside into the pouring rain. His jeep and my car were still there. Where could he have gone? Did someone take him?

I quickly ran back in and dug out my cell phone to call him. As I waited for him to answer I heard the vibrations of another phone on the kitchen counter. It was his cell phone. Knowing he never left without it, I decided to drive to the winery in hopes that Eddie knew where he was.

Once I was there I ran inside and at first I frantically called for Ben, but when Eddie stepped around the corner with a concerned look I knew Ben wasn't there.

"Emilia… what are you doing here?"

"Ben's gone," I panted. "I can't find him. Something's happened to him and..." Rubbing my throat I tried to swallow back my tears, but they sprung forth anyways, "It's all my fault."

"Here. Take a seat," Eddie said wrapping his arm around my shoulder and leading me to a chair. "Now calm down and tell me what happened."

"I… I'm not sure what to say," I stammered, leaning my head on my hand and squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to keep the world from spinning around me. "I don't know what you know of Ben and I don't think you'll believe me if I told you what I discovered."

"I know little of Ben's past, but he did tell me something very strange not too long ago. He wanted me to know in case something ever happened to him and… can you wait here for a moment?"

Lost in my distress all I could manage was a nod. Eddie disappeared into the next room and re-emerged with an envelope. He placed it in my hands and I stared down at it confused.

What is this?" I questioned as I opened the envelope.

"Benjamin said if anything should ever happen to him I should give you this," he then placed a key before me, "And this." He paused with a troubled look before adding, "He mentioned something about a curse, but wouldn't tell me much about it."

"Curse," I repeated, rubbing my spinning head as I remembered his words from the previous night and looked down at the letter.

 _Ma_ souris _,_

 _If you're reading this, chances are you discovered my secret sooner than you should have. If I've gone missing please don't blame yourself. I may not have been so understanding at the time, but know that I could never stay mad at you. I love you and I want you to have a happy life. Eddie has a key and that key is to a safety deposit box at my bank. It has enough money for you to live on or do with as you wish. You could put this all behind you and move on._

"I don't want to," I said under my breath before reading on.

 _What I also know is that you can be very stubborn, but I'm begging you to be careful, Emilia. Don't try to seek me out. You'll only put yourself at risk._

 _Please understand above all I love you and my heart will always belong to you. Never doubt that._

 _-Ben_

"No. This isn't what I want," my voice trembled as I flipped the letter over looking for further information. "Where the hell could he have gone?"

"I wish I knew," Eddie whispered shaking his head in disbelief. "He's never mentioned his past to me… almost like he's scared of it. Has he ever mentioned anything to you about his previous life?"

"Not much. He said he had sisters he didn't talk to anymore and that his mother was French… Do you think he would have left for France?" I asked.

"I don't know. I wouldn't think so. He rarely leaves here. Is his jeep missing?"

"No. But maybe a cab picked him up." I cringed in thought, _Or someone took him._

"I haven't heard another vehicle drive through here since yesterday and that was you. Do you think he would have just taken a walk?"

"I doubt it. Not in the rain." I ran my hands down my face. "It was all so strange. I… I did something I shouldn't have last night, he got mad at me, and I don't know if I hit my head or if the stress of the situation took hold of me, but I think I passed out and didn't wake until morning."

"I can't imagine you doing something bad enough to make him leave. What happened, Emilia?"

"I'm not sure if you'll believe me." I finally lifted my gaze to Eddie's and saw an understanding patience in his eyes, so, despite how insane the story was I continued. "Last night Ben was a different man… a younger man than we thought him to be, but something… I guess a curse, has been aging him during the day. I don't think I was supposed to find out about this curse and when I did… I didn't know…" I paused, feeling bile rise into my throat as I recalled the pain in Ben's eyes as he held my face and choked it and a sob back as I buried my face in my hands.

"Hey, it's okay," Eddie soothed, rubbing my back. "You don't have to tell me anything. I'll look up the road to see if I can find shoe prints or any trace of him leaving. Why don't you go back to the house and look around for any notes or addresses of places he may have gone."

I gave a weak nod and without another word dragged myself back to my car. Once I was back to the house I began a desperate search from room to room. I removed the contents from every closet, went through the kitchen cabinets, and broke into Ben's office finding nothing but his business file. I would have searched his computer, but I couldn't figure out his password. I even went through his CDs hoping I'd have the same luck I had with the picture but found nothing.

Exasperated, I walked out the door and slammed it several times behind me before marching out to the yard. The rain had stopped and the sun was just starting to peer through the clouds, but my mood remained stormy. After pacing around, while smacking my forehead with my hand, I made my way past the trees, towards the back of the house, and stared out at the dimly lit valley.

"He could be anywhere out there," I muttered to myself as I sat on a rock. I drummed my finger on my knees and tried to quiet my frustrations so I could think clearly. "I just need to go back to the beginning."

Closing my eyes, I recalled my unpredictable life since meeting Ben. I went back to the day we first met and to all the times he came into my dreams. I remembered the first time I came to stay with him, our courthouse wedding, and my peaceful summer with him before returning back to school. I even thought back to all our phone conversations, but still nothing.

I drew in my knees and buried my tear stained face in my folded arms. "How could this happen? How could the only man I've ever loved just disappear?"

 _And how could he expect me to just move on without him,_ I thought bitterly.

No. I couldn't place my spite towards him. I had done this. I betrayed him and whatever had happened to him was my fault.

"Please, I have to find you," my voice pleaded as I looked skyward, "Where are you, Ben?"

The only answer was the sound of a twittering bird in the distance. Between its song and the calm surroundings, I only grew more frustrated, wishing the dark clouds to return and match my dark mood. Again I lowered my face and searched my mind for some sort of hint as to where he was.

Out of nowhere, I heard a strong wind whistle through the trees and as it blew around me, sending my hair in all directions, I lifted my gaze. Looking around at the still trees and grasses it appeared that I was this unnatural winds only victim and as it swept past me again it whispered, _East of the sun and west of the moon._ Believing I was hearing things I disregarded it and went back to sifting through my memories, but again I heard the susurrous wind.

 _East of the sun and west of the moon._

I stood to my feet and looked around to see if someone was near, but other than the sound of the stupid tweeting bird in the distance the valley was quiet.

I walked around the hill, towards the front of the house, and after a brief search it appeared as though I was alone.

"I must be losing my mind," I mumbled to myself as I walked up the stairs, but as I came to the door I again heard the wind speak to me. _You must find him before he is lost to you forever. He is east of the sun and west of the moon._

"What the hell does that even mean!" I screamed, but my echoing voice was my only answer. Annoyed, I sat on the stairs and raked my fingers through my hair. "East of the sun and west of the moon?" Those words did strike a chord and after a moment of concentration the memory of the night I told Ben I loved him came flooding back to me.

 _I felt I was somewhere East of the sun and west of the moon. I was everything at the moment, yet nothing_ , he had told me, comparing how he felt about me to standing on a mountain—near his family cabin.

I took out my phone and began a search of national forest in Washington and quickly found it; Gifford Pinchot National Park.

Not wasting another minute I jumped into my car without any real plan. I knew it was plausible that Ben wasn't there, but I was so desperate to undo what I had destroyed that I drove off without another thought.


	19. Chapter 19

Tightening my hands around the steering wheel I took a steady breath. I knew I had to stay strong and I did all the way through Portland, but once I reached Washington a strange thing started to happen. My always reliable car began to make strange noises.

"What the hell?" I grumbled at I felt the car begin to rattle.

Luckily there was a gas station ahead and I cautiously pulled into it. After parking my car, I popped the hood and was assaulted by a puff of smoke.

"No!"

"That's not good," said an old man passing by.

"No shit Sherlock," I retorted. He shrugged and walked into the gas station. _I shouldn't have lashed out like that_ , I berated myself. _He may have been able to help me._

Grabbing my purse out of the car I was prepared to call the nearest automotive center, but as I checked my wallet I saw that my credit card was missing. "Where is it?" I said as I dumped out the entire contents of my purse. I managed to find a $20 and two $5 bills, but the credit card wasn't there.

After letting out a string of swear words I leaned back against my car door and considered calling one of my family members, but I didn't want them to know Ben had disappeared. They wouldn't have believed the events leading up to his disappearance and I knew they would only try to stop me from searching for him.

Out of answers, I went inside and decided to sit down in the diner that was attached to the gas station. My eyes were stinging with the threat of tears as I searched the menu, which was pointless because I wasn't hungry. When the waitress came to my table I kept my eyes lowered. The last thing I needed was a nosey waitress wanting me to spill my problems.

"What will it be," she asked in a seemingly disinterested voice.

"Coffee."

"Coffee? Would you like pie or maybe an order of fries as well?" she questioned.

"No," I sniffled.

"Alright," she said with an irritated sigh and walked away.

I gradually fell apart after that. My welled up tears began to spill and I covered my eyes with my hands in a pointless effort to hide them from the rest of the world. Quietly, I wept as I internally punished myself for not checking my wallet before leaving the house and for ignoring all my father's lessons in car care. If he or any of my siblings had been there they would have my car running again in no time, but that wasn't really why I was on the end of my emotions. I didn't know where Ben was and the reality of my drastic quest to God knows where to win him back was beginning to fill me with doubts.

Hearing someone slip into the seat across from me I peeked through my fingers and saw the waitress studying me concerned. "I'm guessing you own the smoking car out there?"

I didn't respond right away as I swallowed down the remainder of my tears and dried my face with my hands. "Ya."

"But that's not the only reason you're crying, is it?"

"No."

"You don't have to tell me and honestly… I don't really care. I don't know you, you don't know me. Hell, I don't even know me, so what does it matter?" she said folding her hands together on the table. "It's just you're my only customer and I thought I'd try to fill my time offering up my shoulder but, if you prefer, I can leave you alone."

As she started to stand I blurted out, "No, wait." She took a seat once more. "I… I don't need a shoulder, but I could use a listening ear."

She smiled. "Sure. I'm all ears."

As I gathered myself and considered how much I wanted to tell her I also took a moment to look her over. There was something very familiar about her. She was tall and slender, her eyes sparkled, and her smile was dazzling. She looked like she was possibly in her mid-30s, so I didn't imagine she was someone I knew from school. But still, I felt like I knew her.

"Did you by chance ever live in Montana or California?" I asked.

"I honestly don't know. Seven years ago I found myself in this town with no memory of my previous life," she explained. "All I had with me were the clothes on my back and a note that was basically a threat to stay hidden, so that's what I've done. Do I look like someone you once knew?"

"I don't know. I don't think so, but there's something familiar about you," I muttered as I searched my memories, but she wasn't there. "No," I sighed. "Maybe you just look like someone from TV or something."

She chuckled. "Wouldn't that be something? If I was actually an actress before losing my memories?"

I shrugged and sipped at my coffee.

"So if you're from Montana or California what are you doing here?" she questioned.

"I married a man from Oregon, but he…" I took a deep breath, "He went missing this morning and I think he's somewhere near Gifford Pinchot National Park. He told me once he had a family cabin near there."

"Hm… have I been there before?" she muttered, looking off in the distance.

"It's like two hours northeast," I told her.

"Probably just remembering the name from people asking directions," she said. "So why did he leave?"

"I… I betrayed his trust big time," I said in a faint voice as I kept my eyes focussed on my coffee.

"Think you can win him back?"

"I hope so."

"Is he worth it?"

"Yes," I said twiddling my ring in an effort to distract myself from my heartache. "He's worth everything to me. He's given me everything… more than I deserved, but I'd give it all up to have him again."

"Sounds like true love to me," she said taking my hand and looking down at my ring. "What a lovely ring. It looks old."

"He gave it to me," I whispered looking down at it proudly. "It's was a family ring."

"He must really love you to give you something like that."

"He does." I gulped. "Or at least he did."

She fell silent for a moment as she stared out the window. She then let out a long breath and reached into her pocket. "You said this place wasn't too far from here right?"

"It's about two hours away."

"Here," she said placing a set of keys in my hand. "I know this is crazy, but take my car."

"I… I can't do that!"

"You can. For whatever reason, I trust you and I just feel like this is something I need to do. I don't even understand it, but please, just take my car and on your way back you can give it back to me."

"But, you must need your car. How are you going to get home?"

"I'm actually living with the owner of this gas station, so don't worry yourself. Just go get your man," she said reaching up to the collar of her dress and pulling at a little needle tucked into the fabric. "And take this."

"A needle?" I questioned confused.

"This is crazy, but I was given this needle by a woman that bought a lottery ticket at this gas station and won around $50,000.00. She told me I was her favorite waitress and gave me this, telling me it was lucky. It hasn't done anything for me yet, but maybe it will for you," she said tucking the needle onto the pocket of my bag.

"Thanks. I hope it does," I said near tears again. "I promise I'll bring back your car."

"I know you will and if I'm not here just leave it with the attendant. We all know each other."

"Thank you," I said giving her a quick hug.

"Good luck."

* * *

I was on the road again and this time in a brown boat of a car. The rest of the drive followed the Columbia River and the scenery was breathtaking with all its forest-covered mountains, gushing waterfalls, and expansive bridges. I found myself momentarily distracted from my frantic thoughts, but then the memory of Ben's look of betrayal flashed before me and I found myself struggling to breath as my heart raced.

After finding a place to pull over I got out of the car and walked around trying to control my breathing. A couple walked past me with worried looks, but when I glowered at them they moved on. I watched as they walked past a sign for Multnomah Falls and disappeared up a trail. At some point, my GPS had led me back to Oregon and I hadn't even noticed. I felt like there were other forces at work, stalling me from finding Ben and I almost went back to my car to see if I had been misdirected, but hearing the soothing sounds of the fall in the distance I was drawn towards it.

I followed up the same path the couple had and within minutes I saw it appear beyond the pines. It was a towering fall with a bridge directly before it, daring visitors for a closer view. Leaning against the railing was the couple; lips locked and completely unaware of my presence. I sat on a bench and stared past them at the fall.

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" I heard a woman's voice ask from behind me.

"It is," I agreed, glancing quickly over my shoulder at the woman in a park ranger uniform before turning my gaze back to the fall. "It seems to be restoring my will to continue."

She took a seat next to me. "Please don't' tell me you came here to jump."

"What?" I questioned, lifting my confused gaze.

With her sitting next to me, I was able to get a better look at her. Like the waitress, there was something familiar about her. She had an understanding smile, wide gray eyes, and though she looked like someone of about 30-ish her two long brown braids made her look almost girlish.

"You just looked very depressed, so I assumed you were planning a jump."

I let out a wry laugh. "No, I'm actually trying to pull myself together. I'm not doing the best job, huh?"

"I suppose that all depends on how you were before you came here."

"Lost," I admitted with a sigh. "Very lost and still lost."

"I could get you a map if you need one or give you directions."

I shook my head. "Thank you, but I know where I am. Just... not where I'm going."

"Oh. You mean emotionally lost." She nodded. "I've been there myself. I was really down on my luck some years ago, but a woman found me wandering the road and brought me here. She gave me this," she said reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small spool with iridescent string. "When she gave it to me she said—" she silently moved her lips as she tried to remember. _"When you feel your path has come to an end tie a string near it and go off the path. If you still don't find what you're looking for through the wild and unexplored you will at least have a way to find your way back."_

"Like a trail of breadcrumbs."

"Yes, but more reliable because the crows won't eat it. Here," she said grabbing my hand and placing the spool in my palm. "Take this. It has done as about as much as it can for me. Maybe it will help you."

"Thank you," I said, "Seems appropriate. It will go with my needle."

At first she looked confused, but with a smile and shrug she gave me a pat on the back and stood. I stared down at the strange iridescent thread and wound it around my finger. When I looked up the ranger was gone and so was the couple. I decided it was time I got moving as well.


	20. Chapter 20

After crossing over the Hood River Bridge, I decided to fuel up and get something to eat with the last of my cash. Inside the gas station, I found a brochure and map of the area and skimmed through it. It seemed from there to Gifford Pinchot National Forest my only company would be trees, so I decided to ask the attendant more about the area.

"Hi. Do you know if there are any cabins around this area?" I questioned the teenage boy behind the counter as I held out the map.

"I don't know. I doubt it. There're campgrounds."

Seeing that he wouldn't be any help I let out an exasperated breath. "Thanks."

I walked back to my car and took out the little spool the ranger gave me. "What should I do? Stay on the highway or go off the beaten track?" But it gave me no magical answers.

After driving through a small town, I found myself between two walls of conifers. For many miles all I saw was green, green, and more green, to the point I was lost in a trance. I felt as though I took a sedative because I started to go emotionally and mentally blank and I didn't wake from it until I saw my gas light indicator flicker on.

"What? I just filled this!" I cried in outrage.

Finding a narrow dirt path to pull over on I got out of the car and looked around for any sign of civilization, but the dirt path seemed to be my only chance at finding someone. I followed it through the forest on foot while keeping my eyes open for wolves, mountain lions, bears, and anything ready to rip out my throat. Perhaps I was being a bit dramatic with my worries, but with all the misfortunes I had on the road I readied myself for the worse case scenario.

The path gradually became covered in moss and then disappeared into tall grasses. Between the trees, I could see a clearing, but in the middle was not the house I had hoped to find. Instead, there was a small herd of elk. They weren't as threatening as the carnivorous beast of the forest, but I still didn't want to challenge them, so I cautiously walked back to my car.

"What do I do now?" I sighed trying to decide whether or not I should continue on foot or wait for a passerby to offer assistance.

On that stretch of road, I had passed only one other car, so I assumed few people ever came through. Even if someone was to come through and offer me assistance I wasn't sure I'd accept it since it was such an isolated area. Taking out my cell phone, I could see I didn't have a signal, so calling anyone for help was out of the question.

Digging through my purse, I found my black eyeliner and used it to write HELP across my map. I then stuck it to the back of the car with two pieces of chewed up gum and hoped for the best.

As the sky grew dark my fears and worries went into a frenzy. I was stuck in the wilderness, not a town for miles, and my only company being animals that potentially could eat me. I could almost see it on the news: _Girls body found half eaten in Gifford Pinchot National Forest_ or worse; _Starved girl's body found in Gifford Pinchot National Forest. It was believed that after her car ran out of gas she lost her way while trying to find help._

With my stomach aching for food and my mind tired from all my worries I wanted to cry, but I found I was out of tears. Instead, I balled up in the back of the car and used my jacket like a blanket, and though my mind was still reeling I was exhausted and quickly fell into an uncomfortable sleep.

* * *

I woke the next morning to a knocking sound. As I opened my eyes I found a face staring down at me through the car window. Startled, I let out a short scream and clambered away from the window. Pressing my hand against my chest, I made an attempt to slow my pounding heart and looked up at the face still staring at me. It was a woman and to my relief she had a friendly smile as she waved at me. Taking a few deep breaths, I eventually stopped shaking and I rolled down the window.

She pointed to the back of my car saying, "I saw your sign."

"Do… do you live nearby?" I asked in a groggy morning voice.

"In a way," she told me as she lowered her sunglasses revealing pale blue eyes. "I work for someone who lives nearby."

I slowly got out of the car and found myself having to look up at the woman who must have been nearly six feet fall. Though she had faint frown lines around her mouth, white streaks through her hair, and dark circles under her eyes the nuances of her features were strikingly beautiful and her complexion flawless.

"Hi," I said wearily. "Sorry for freaking out. I had a rough night."

"I would have too if I had to spend the night out here. You're lucky I was driving by. No one goes down this road. In fact, I only leave the cabin to go shopping once a month," she told me.

"The cabin?"

"Yes. It's just a few miles down the road, but you don't want to go there. The owner isn't very inviting. I'll take you back to town," she said almost instantly.

"Is this owner a man?"

"It's a woman," she answered cautiously.

"Have you seen a man recently. He's older, with white hair and…" I paused for a moment before correcting myself. "No, he would appear younger now… about 30 maybe. He's very handsome with thick brown hair that's usually sort of brushed back, blue eyes, and…" I stopped talking as I saw her face pale. Her eyes grew wide as she looked down at my hand and concentrated on my ring. "You've seen him, haven't you?"

"No," she answered with a wavering voice and nervous smile. "I'm sorry, but I should get you back to town. I'm sure you have family looking for you."

I stepped closer to her and she took a step back.

"Listen," I said through my teeth. She may have been taller than me, but that didn't intimidate me. I needed answers. "I am looking for my husband and I'm not leaving here without him."

She held her mouth tight and shook her head.

"You've seen him, haven't you? Are you the one keeping him here?"

"No. It's our stepmother," she finally said in a strained voice.

My eyes widened. "You're… Ben's sister?"

She hesitantly nodded. "Yes, I'm Alaina and I'm assuming you're his wife or you wouldn't be wearing that ring."

"You've got to take me to him," I demanded as I grabbed her by her forearms.

"No! She will do something horrible to you and anyways… he won't recognize you," she argued trying to shake my hands off. "He doesn't even recognize me because that evil bitch…" she went silent as tears rolled down her face. She didn't continue until she had regained her composure. "Vivianna will curse you. She has me, she has Ben and my entire family. Just leave while you can."

I let go of her arms and shook my head. "No. I'm willing to take the risk. I won't have a life without him and if you can't help me that's fine. Just drive off, but you will be seeing me again. I'll find that cabin and won't leave until he's with me."

Silently she searched my eyes and seeing my determination her expression softened to resign. "Nothing I say will make you leave, will it?"

"No," I said firmly. "Please, just take me to him."

"I'll have to. You won't be able to find it yourself. She has hidden it," she said closing her eyes and resting her hand to her head. Shaking her head she opened her eyes and warned, "Prepare yourself. You'll see things you don't understand and Ben won't know you."

"He won't know me? He's only been gone a day."

"It doesn't matter. Vivianna can manipulate memories." She placed her hands on her hips and let out a long breath. "And time, at least within the property. He's been with her for nearly a month."

"What! How?"

"Magic," she answered gravely as we walked to her truck. "Very dark magic."


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry for the slow updates and short chapters. I've been doing nanowrimo on another book, so I've been busy with that and really just life. Here's a lengthy chapter to make up for it. I know December will be a busy month for me, but hopefully by January I'll be updating every week rather than every two weeks.**

 **Also, thanks for the recent review! It pushed me to finish this chapter. It means the world to me to know you're enjoying my story!**

* * *

The concept of time was forgotten by Benjamin. All he knew was the sun appeared in the sky in the morning and from there he spent the day doing whatever he like and with his beloved, his Goddess, Vivianna. He couldn't have imagined ever wanting more.

Vivianna was his everything. Every day he found himself all the more captivated by her golden beauty, her honey voice, and her scent that seemed to be made up of all things amber; caramel, vanilla, spices, and honey. He decided he couldn't remember his past because before her nothing must have mattered.

Not only was she beautiful, but Vivianna was also so giving. She caressed him and soothed him to sleep and in the morning she was always there with his breakfast. He knew she enjoyed his company, but she never hovered. In fact, she often suggested he take advantage of their surroundings and explore the lands on his own. However, she always cautioned him:

 _"Stay away from the roads. There are women just beyond our forest that would hunt you and take you away from me. If you see one don't speak to her. Just come straight home."_

He had come to the conclusion that the world outside the forest must have been a peculiar one with a complete lack of men where women hunted and fought for them, or at least that's how Vivianna made it sound. Sometimes he would try to remember that world, but as soon as a hint of his memory would return his head would throb.

 _It's probably for the best that I don't remember,_ he told himself.

Other than the maid he never saw another soul and after what Vivianna had told him he was content with that. They didn't need anyone else invading their world and he had no desire for any other companionship. Little happened and he liked it that way, but on that day he felt something was about to change.

The surroundings of the cabin almost seemed tempered at times. The skies were always clear and blue, what winds came through were light and warm, and other than the soft songs of bird, chirps of crickets, and the rustle of leaves it was relatively silent. However, that day the skies grew dark and were adorned in a string of pearl-like clouds. The winds blew in cold and strong and the birds in the trees flapped their wings in an unsettled manner. It should have been enough to make him return to the cabin and evade the woods, but instead he found himself drawn further into the thick of the trees—further than he'd explored before.

He continued on aimlessly until he heard voices in a distant clearing. He moved in closer and through the trees saw a parked car and a girl.

"Shit," he whispered to himself. Someone had found their way in.

Hiding behind a tree, he observed this girl at a distance. She was speaking with the maid, Alaina, but he couldn't make out what was being said. There was anger in the girl's eyes as she spouted off to Alaina and Alaina said very little in return, but there was a look of guilt in the maid's eyes.

 _She must be one of those women Vivianna warned me about,_ he thought at first, but as he studied her his head throbbed, as though the sight of her had awakened a painful memory.

There was something oddly familiar about this stranger. She had long wavy hair that started out as ash blonde and turned into faded purple curls that reached down to her waist. She was young, petite, and pretty, but she was nothing compared to Vivianna. Even so, he couldn't look away from her.

It was as he focussed on her eyes that he felt he could almost recall who she was. They were an intense green and seemed to stand out compared to her other soft features. A memory flashed in his mind of the same girl sitting on a rock and looking out at a gray sea, those same eyes full of tears. The wind blew her long colorful tresses around her and she looked at him speaking, but he couldn't hear her voice. Instead, the pain in his head only grew sharper.

Quietly, he backed away from hiding and made his way back to the cabin, but the vision of the girl wouldn't leave him.

"I know those eyes," he muttered to himself. "But how?"

* * *

Have you ever felt warnings were all around you? That's how I felt in that moment. A strong cold wind whirled through the forest, sending leaves and pine needles into the summer sky. As my gaze lifted to follow it I observed that the clear blue sky had darkened and was now covered in rows of clouds that looked like strings of pearls. It cast perplexing shoots of light between the trees making the forest look both dreamy and eerie.

"Is that normal?" I asked Alaina pointing up to the sky before getting into the truck.

"No, but nothing is normal here," she muttered bitterly as she slid into the driver's side seat.

"I should be used to it. Nothing's been normal since I've married Ben," I said under my breath.

"Ben would want me to take you away from here," she said before starting up the truck. "How in the hell did you end up here, anyway?"

"Would you believe me if I told you the wind told me where to find him?" I asked.

She let out a rueful laugh. "At one time, no, but now… I'm not sure what there is I don't believe. Would you believe me if I told you my stepmother was a demon?"

"A demon... like an actual demon?" Like Alaina believed, I too was coming to believe nothing was impossible, but a demon? The rational part of me wasn't ready to accept that idea.

"Well, at least that's what I think she is," Alaina said driving down the road. "Maybe a witch. I don't know, but I'm telling you, you can't win against her. Please let me take you back to town."

I shook my head. "No."

"This is suicide. She's evil and seems particularly fond of using her magic to play with other's lives."

"Then I'll just have to play back."

At that Alaina snorted. "You know, all this could have been avoided if you hadn't stabbed my brother in the back. You're the reason why he's here now. Have you thought that even if you break the spell he may not want anything to do with you after that?"

I gaped at her in stunned, not only because of how much she already knew but also because of how her words cut into my heart. However, realizing I deserved her criticism I lowered my wide eyes in guilt.

"No, I haven't," I admitted faintly. "You're right. He gave me a chance to free him and I betrayed him, but even so… I won't leave until he tells me to leave."

She pulled her truck over to the side of the road, parked it, and turned to me with a frosty glare. "I know more than you know and I'm telling you… what's your name?"

"Emilia."

"I'm telling you, Emilia this is something you have to walk away from."

"I can't. I won't," my voice wavered. "I can't have a life without him."

"How can you say that? I know with the curse he couldn't open up to you about who he was. You barely know him!"

I shrugged. "I know I love him and because of that I can't walk away."

She groaned and sat back in her seat folding her arms. "I'm assuming you still know nothing about who he is and… how all this came to be."

"No, he couldn't tell me because-"

"Of the curse," she finished for me. Unfolding her arms, she tapped her fingers on her thighs and muttered to herself, "Where to begin? I'm still confused on some of it. We got separated before she got to him."

"You mean we as in you and your sisters?"

"Yes. Vivianna managed to take us out in one go when we went to question her on our father's whereabouts, but Ben wasn't with us." Her brow furrowed as she glared out the window. "When we saw how she looked at Ben, those golden snake eyes sparkling with interest, we decided not to involve him. We tried to protect him as long as we could, but with us gone Vivianna had no one to stand in her way, yet she still couldn't do to him as she did to us." Her voice had been fading into grief, but she cleared it and went on.

"You see, she married my father so she could take over his life and business, and when anyone tried to get in her way she got rid of them. She can create these enchanted chambers to cage people in, like animals." She snorted. "That's how she sees us, as no more than pets. I was in one for years and I can only assume my sisters too… but she could never put Ben in one until now. I think that's why she cursed him. Ben was too strong for her. She could never get into his mind like she could other peoples… like she could ours."

"Why does she want him so badly?" I asked.

"At first I thought it was because of money. My father had left the company and accounts to Ben. He always wanted Ben to take over the company one day though Ben never had the desire too. Ben was too free spirited like my mom," she said wistfully. "I think the money was Vivianna's initial goal. She's always bragging to me that she's survived as long as she has because of stupid rich men that just wanted to get between her legs. God, she loves to hear herself talk. Horrible woman," she spat. "Anyways, I think she saw something more with Ben. He's a challenge for her and Vivianna loves nothing more than a good challenge."

I was sweating as Alaina told me all this and I tried to stay strong, but feeling my anxiety resurface I finally broke down. "I've got to get him out of there. Take me there now, please!"

"I'm not sure you can," she said. "I've been trying to escape for years, but she's got this invisible chain on us."

"I have to try! If I walk away now I won't be able to live with myself. You have to help me Alaina," I pleaded taking her hands. "At least take me to him, so I can try."

Her eyes searched my own. "You really love him, don't you?"

"He is the only person I want to share a life with. He understands me deeper than anyone has, even in my family… he is my family. I couldn't go on day to day like he never existed," I sobbed. "I don't care if she has powers to lock me up or kill me. I have to try to at least see him."

"Alright. I'll take you to him," Alaina said shaking her hands loose from my grasp and restarting the truck. "Just know what you're up against isn't of this world."

"I made it through the night, so maybe I can make it through another," I said refusing to let go of my purpose while mentally preparing myself for the trials ahead.

* * *

The cabin was in a more secluded location than I imagined. I had thought I'd see a campground nearby or other cabins around, but the lone cabin appeared to be the only one for miles. Rolling green hills and forest surrounded it like a barrier and beyond that were imposing jagged mountains. It wasn't a place you could easily find or escape from on foot.

I gulped. "This is…very hidden."

"It always was, but now it's impossible for anyone else to find since she's placed a spell over the whole area. The only good thing about it is that it takes most of her magic to maintain it," Alaina said. "It's made her weak. She's been resorting to potions more and more lately."

"Weak enough that I have a chance of getting Ben out of here unnoticed?" I questioned.

She didn't respond, but I could see by her expression that she doubted it. "Come on," she sighed. "Let's go face the devil."

Walking into the cabin I expected to see the same rustic charms as Ben's house, but the interior was more like that of a penthouse and it's expansive dimensions didn't make sense with the size of the cabin. Everything was uncomfortably bright, white, crisp and nothing like I expected from a witch's lair. Alaina walked off towards the kitchen, dragging a few heavy bags, and I followed behind her cautiously, my eyes wandering as I tried to understand what I was seeing.

"I see our guest finally arrived," I heard a sickeningly sweet and smooth voice behind me.

I slowly turned and there she stood, looking every bit as beautiful as Alaina described and more. During my time at school I had worked with models and learned that perfection from afar wasn't always the same up close. Designers had ways of taping and spraying women to a certain shape. The fashion industry was a revolting business and that's why my focus was on theatrical design. However, as Vivianna approached I saw no signs of makeup, push-up bras, or controlling undergarments. In fact, it was evident from the bright lights and her white dress that she wasn't wearing undergarments of any kind. I searched, but the statuesque beauty didn't have one flaw. Every feature, every curve, and every length of her was perfection. This was the woman I was up against.

"This is the one that almost took my Benny away?" she questioned in a taunting voice as her golden eyes surveyed me. "You're not as pretty as I thought you'd be."

"Funny, you're exactly how I thought you'd be," I said trying to sound confident, but my voice came out shaky and I realized I was trembling.

At this, she cackled and leaned on the counter across from me so that our gazes were aligned. She then stared into my eyes with an unreadable expression. I found myself staring back, lost in the glistening gold of her eyes, and then her scent; so warm, so sweet. Realizing I was falling under some sort of spell I jerked away from the counter and what was left of her lingering scent caused me to cough. As I gasped for air I realized she had been choking me with it.

"Well, you are quicker than I thought you'd be. I expected you'd be dead after that," she said with a tone of disappointment. "How to deal with you now? I suppose I could just do it the old fashion way, wrap my hands around your neck, but that's so exerting."

"Where is he?" I asked managing to make my voice sound demanding as I took a step back.

"Doing what he loves, exploring. That's what I can give him, freedom to live and do as he wishes." She began walking around the room, running her fingers across every surface as if it provided her some sort of euphoria. "What do you give him again? Oh… that's right. You don't. You've only taken from him."

Her words stung, mostly because I believed them. He had given so much to me and what did I do? I betrayed him. But there was one thing I did give him. Something that I was reluctant to part with, but I never regretted giving away.

"I've given him my heart."

Her nostrils flared at this, but she maintained her smooth smile. "Hearts. Mortal, flighty, weak, little things, but clip here and there... you've cut their wings." Amused by her own disturbing poetry, she fell into hysterics. After clearing her throat, she glared at me with her fiery eyes and added with an eerie calmness, "With me he can be immortal. With me, he can climb every mountain."

My mouth dropped hearing the last of her words. She must have known about the clues that led me here and those beautiful words of love he had once professed to me.

"But you took away his choice," I finally said in a somewhat steady voice though I had to dig my nails into my palm to do so. "What can he really feel without choice?"

"You don't need choice to experience pleasure," she said as her mouth formed into a wolfish grin.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I disagree."

"I like you, Emilia. I've liked you before I met you and you should like me in return. Had it not been for me you would have never met him at all. I placed you in his life. You had no control over this, yet you still gained pleasure from it," she said as she ran her hand over my face. Her skin felt as soft as petals and smelled of honeysuckles. "It was short lived, but you should still thank me for this."

For a moment my nose tickled, my mouth watered, goose bumps covered my skin, and I felt a sudden sense of euphoria like I was sinking into a cloud of warmth. For a moment, it felt like Ben was in front of me, not Vivianna, and as I raised my eyes I expected to meet his sparkling blue gaze, but instead found myself staring at large black pupils with a thin gold ring around them. I flinched and with that her spell broke.

"Never," I choked out.

"What to do with you then," she said backing away from me with a dissecting glare. "I suppose I could lock you up in one of my rooms or take away your memories and drop you in some part of the world, but that would be so dull. What do I get from it? What can I get from you?"

"You'll get nothing…" I cut off my words and cooled my temper knowing I would get nowhere if I challenged her. To Vivianna, it was what she could get out of the situation and I remembered my father had once told me those were the easiest people to bargain with because they only viewed life through a selfish one-sided perception.

"I can sew anything," I said almost without thinking. "I can make you the dress of your dreams in exchange to see him."

"You can sew anything?" she laughed. She then walked around the room with a devious grin. Her eyes lit up as she focussed on a vase of lavender and wheat on the table. "I thought these would be an appropriate setting for your arrival, but they would make a more beautiful gown."

"I need fabric."

She pulled them out from the vase and shoved them in my arms. "You said you can sew anything and so you shall."

"I can't make anything out of this! It's impossible!"

"If it was impossible I could not say it," she hissed and took another step forward as though she was ready to sink her teeth into me. She then straightened her posture and smoothed her face. "And if you love him as you say you do you will at least try."

I clenched my teeth to keep my angery words back. After some consideration my head dropped. "Fine. A dress of lavender and a dress of wheat… that makes it to where I should be able to meet with him twice."

"If you succeed in making the dresses then… yes," she agreed with a smug grin. "Alaina, take our guest to the shed."

"To the shed?" Alaina questioned. "Wouldn't you rather put her in a room so she can't run away?"

"She can run away if she wishes. I could care less," Vivianna said turning to walk away. "I certainly don't want her here. It's her choice."

Alaina shook her head. "You can sleep in the chevy," she whispered leading me to the door. "I'll get you some blankets."


	22. Chapter 22

Sleeping in a car was difficult, but sleeping in a truck left me feeling weary, sore, and unrested. Not only that but I woke up beyond hungry and I was sure if I didn't eat soon my stomach would start digesting itself. Fortunately, Alaina helped with the last by sneaking out a plate of sausage and eggs to me. She didn't stick around for fear of being caught, so I was on my own and with the impossible task of turning lavender and wheat into fabrics.

At first I took the lavender and tried braiding it together, but it just split. Next I tried to weave it with a makeshift hand loom I had fashioned out of a piece of cardboard that I had found in the shed, but again the lavender just fell apart. Hours went by as I tried again and again to weave it and in the end I was left was a pile of broken lavender stems and small smashed purple petals.

"It's impossible," I said to myself as I tucked my head between my knees and began to cry.

As tears splashed the ground I began to devise another exchange I could offer Vivianne. Maybe she'd take years of my life in exchange to see Ben again or maybe I could offer her servitude. But, as it always seemed to happen to me, after feeling defeated a new door of possibility opened.

As I stood to walk back and admit my defeat the spool of iridescent thread fell out of my pocket and rolled to a stop before me. I quickly snatched it up and almost placed it back in my pocket without a second thought, but then an idea crossed my mind. It was a strange idea, one that seemed born from a magical seamstress' or spinning wizard's mind, but as absurd as it was I didn't dismiss it.

Once again I took a seat on the ground and picked up the cardboard loom. With the thread, I formed a warp and with an anxious breath I picked up a handful of lavender. As I began to tuck it into the threads an unimaginable thing happened. It expanded and formed into a purple and green thread that seemed to expand and weave itself into a yard of fabric. The fabric was unlike any other I'd seen. It was a gossamer of lavender with a green iridescence and when the light shined on it shimmered like a jewel.

After my initial shock, I again sprinkled another handful of lavender onto the loom and again it produced another yard of fabric. I continued this until I had a large pile of beautiful fabric on the ground before me. A miracle! All I had to do now was cut it into a pattern and sew it into something Vivianna couldn't refuse.

"I shouldn't have celebrated this miracle so quickly," I whispered to myself as I ran my hand over the fabric. It was feathery soft and my fingers lingered over the shimmering cool folds of it. "It will be a shame to cut you," I spoke to it as I grabbed my purse. I dug around for the pocket knife I typically kept close on my person. A Girl has to be prepared for the worse, of course, especially when she lives two states away from home.

As I looked for it I saw the needle the waitress had given me stuck to the strap of my purse. Another idea suddenly came to me, but I almost disregarded it as it seemed as impossible, if not more, than my previous idea.

 _You must try_ , said a voice like the wind.

"Oh really?" I questioned stoutly, as I narrowed my eyes at the sky.

"The first time I listened to a voice that wasn't my own I turned on a flashlight that ended my relationship and condemned my husband's life to that evil woman."

 _I am not that same voice,_ it assured me as if it read my thoughts. _I'm here to help you._

"Ha. I've lost it," I mumbled to myself. "I'm having full conversations with the wind now."

Unable to find my pocket knife I decided to make the impossible attempt at sewing the dress without cutting the fabric. After threading the needle I was prepared to start sewing, but before I could even sink the needle into the fabric it sprung from my fingers and began to do the work for me. I leaped back from it and watched gaping as an invisible hand guided both the needle and fabric. My eyes grew as a long skirt of soft layers and embroidered rows of lavender began to form. Next it formed a plunging bodice covered in small iridescent lace petals and ornate woven lavender straps.

Eventually, the needle tied itself off and tucked itself back into the strap of my purse. I slowly approached the dress, laid carefully on the ground before me, and stooped down to pick it up. It was glamorous, it was couture, it was possibly the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen, and for a moment I wasn't sure if I could give it up. It was almost as if it had a life and in a way it felt like I would be giving up my child to Vivianna, but I had to. I had to see Ben. So, I gathered it in my arms and walked up to the door.

After a knock Alaina answered, her gaze sympathetic at first, but as her eyes dropped to the dress they grew with astonishment. "How did you do it?"

"I honestly don't know," I said leaning against the doorway fatigued, "But a deal is a deal. Where's Vivianna?"

"Has she given up already?" I heard Vivianna laugh as she approached the door. Her tickled expression melted into shock, anger, and then at last desire as she eyed the dress. "You've… done it, but how?"

"We each have our own secrets. Let's keep it that way."

She glared at me for a moment before returning her eyes to the dress. "I suppose we made a deal. Give me the dress and I'll take you to him."

"No," I said taking a step back and pulling the dress closer to my body. "Take me to him first and then, I'll give you the dress."

She sneered. "If you insist. Just… don't hold the dress so close. You're filthy and you'll ruin it."

I felt my resolve simmer, but I held my tongue and waited for her to lead the way. She ushered me in and I, apprehensively, followed her up a flight of stairs. At the top was a large metal door that she unlocked with a key to reveal another flight of stairs and at the end of it was another metal door and, yet again, another flight of stairs.

At this point it became obvious to me we had entered a realm created by her magic. She was leading me to one of her hidden chambers and, I noted, there would be no way of finding it in the future without her.

 _I won't be able to sneak in or sneak him out_ , I thought, disheartened. _How am I going to get him out of here?_

Finally, after opening the third metal door, she led me into a dark room. She lifted her hands and a candle next to a bed lit up. In the bed was Ben, looking as handsome and youthful as ever and sleeping peacefully. Without another thought, I shoved the dress into Vivianna's arms and ran to his side.

"Ben," I called to him and took his hand in mine, but he remained sound asleep. "I've come for you. Please wake up. It's your wife!"

"He can't hear you," Vivianna said with a smug grin. "He's become quite the sound sleeper since living with me. I keep him busy."

I gave her a dark stare. "I'd prefer to see him without you hovering."

"That's not part of our deal," she said emphasizing each word.

"Well then, I suppose I won't give you another dress, which is disappointing because I promise you the next will be better than that one."

Her mocking smile drew into a straight line as she considered this. She then shrugged. "Fine. I will be back in the morning, but you will find him boring company." With that, she turned around and walked out of the room.

After I heard her lock the door I turned back to my husband. "Ben… my love, please wake," I begged as I swallowed back my tears and lifted his limp hand to my face. "You knew me in the darkness once. Can't you see me now? Ben… please. It's me." But he did not stir and his breath remained steady.

Realizing he wouldn't wake I curled up next to him and ran my fingers through his soft brown hair. He wasn't in my dreams, but here he was, young before me. He was beautiful. The most beautiful man I had ever seen or that I had ever touched, but I knew he was more than that. He was beautiful beyond his physical being. He was patient, kind, and giving, and I took him for granted.

"I'm so sorry, Ben. You tried to make me see and understand what had happened to you. You tried to give me clues, but I stubbornly refused to accept your terms." My voice caught in my throat and the rest barely came out as a whisper. "I should have trusted you. I will never doubt you again, just please… wake up."

Still he remained asleep and his features smooth, but my choked words continued in a futile effort to coax him to wake. Nuzzling my tear stained face to his chest, I spoke to him about our lives together. I told him of how we met and how he won me over. I told him of how I'd fallen in love with him long before I admitted it and I told him how much I regretted my mistake.

"I'd give it all up for you," I mumbled as I suddenly felt too exhausted to continue my rants. My eyelids began to feel heavy and I fought to keep my eyes open, but against my will I fell asleep.

The next morning I found myself curled up outside on a pile of dirt. Lifting myself off the ground I brushed off my clothes and stretched my sore back. Feeling a pair of eyes on me I lifted my own expecting to see Vivianna's viper golden gaze on me, but instead I found Alaina before me with a plate of food.

"Breakfast?" I questioned in a hoarse voice that was raw from crying.

"More like lunch. It's almost noon." Alaina looked me over worried. "You look terrible. Were you asleep out here all night?"

I shook my head. "I fell asleep next to your brother, who seems to be in a coma, and woke up out here." I looked to the sky as I stretched my back. "Nothing makes sense anymore."

"It doesn't here. Time goes by as she wishes and people only see and remember what she wants them too. I'm not even sure why she sends me to get food and supplies for her. She could probably just magic it up or something."

"Why have you never run away?"

"I tried a few times, but would find myself suddenly asleep and when I'd wake I'd find myself back here. She told me if I ever tried to run away again she would take my memories and dump me like she did my sisters."

"Your sisters? That's right. Ben told me he had three," I whispered, concentrating on the clouded sky in thought before returning my focus back to her. "Do you know where she dumped them?"

"No idea. They did something that really set her off one day… Ehr, it was a day I was locked in my room for trying to escape, so I could only guess they were trying to free me. Anyhow, whatever my sisters had done caused Vivianna to spiral into a tirade. I heard her screaming how they would never see their family again and even if they did they'd never know them."

I looked past her. "Because she stole their memories?"

She crossed her arms and tilted her head as she studied me. "Yes?"

"Is one of your sisters tall with jet black hair, bright blue eyes, and a perfect smile?"

Her arms dropped to her side and her brow lifted. "That sounds like Celine."

"I think I met her. She was a waitress at this gas station diner. She told me she lost her memory and gave me a needle for good luck. I thought it was odd, but I suppose it sort of makes sense now." My mouth fell open with another realization. "That must mean the park ranger was your other sister."

"Danielle!" Alaina blurted out. "Was she my height with brown hair and gray eyes?"

"Yes. It must have been her," I said as I took the plate from Alaina's trembling hands and placed it on the ground so that I could give her the hug she looked like she needed. "Now that I think about it I'm surprised I didn't realize they were your sisters before. You all have a similar look."

She hugged me back and cried, "I can't believe they're still alive!"

"We've got to get out of here Alaina. We've got to get both you and Ben out of here and find your sisters," I said pulling away to meet her eyes with a restored determination. "I need that key that Vivianna has so we can get Ben out of here."

"I'll see what I can do, but even if I get the key, which is highly unlikely, what are we going to do after that? She puts him under a spell every night. It erases his memories and puts others in their place. He doesn't seem to know anything, but her."

"Does he not see you?"

"He sees me, but it doesn't matter. He only thinks I'm the maid," she explained. "And if I tried to reason with him he'd just report it to her. He thinks she God or something."

"You have to try to reason with him again or at least get him to reveal what she's doing to make him sleep so that we can stop her," I said. "Just… be quick and careful about it. This place is doing something to me. I don't feel right today."

"It will only get worse. I swear Vivianne has taken off 10 years from my life," she said running her fingers through the ends of her gray-streaked hair. "Alright. I'll see if I can trick Ben into telling me what she's giving him to make him sleep, but this could all go very bad, Emilia."

"Yes, but can it get any worse?"

"Oh, it can," she warned. "If she starts to get bored or irritated with this game she'll create another."


	23. Chapter 23

After Alaina left I began working on my second dress. The wheat wasn't nearly as cooperative as the lavender and it fought against the warp as I tried to weave it. By the time I had a yard most of my fingertips were stinging and scratched.

"Damsels in distress my ass. Fairytales have it wrong. Damsels to the rescue, more like it. Ha! Tired damsels, grimy and starved damsels who are done with this bullshit," I grumbled irritably as I wrapped my sore fingers in strips of fabric I had taken from a scarf that was stuffed in my purse. Catching a whiff of my unbathed sweaty self, I added, "Damsels who need a bath."

Deciding to take a break from my torturous task I set out on foot hoping to find a stream or some sort of water to wash in. After dragging my way to through the forest and up a hill, I could see a large flowery meadow below and a glimmering pond in the distance. I quickly made my way down the hill, through the grasses, and kneeled down to the clear waters.

Despite it being summer I anticipated the lake to be cold since its waters were mountain fed, so after stripping down, I quickly dived in. With a shiver, my head emerged from the waters and I swam around trying to get accustomed to the temperature. Eventually, my body adjusted to the cold bite of the water and my sore muscles began to relax.

After I had my fill of bathing I redressed and began to make my way back to the shed, back to my tedious task, but catching a glimpsebu of something moving up a nearby cliff I stilled. Squinting my eyes, I moved closer and once I was near the bottom of the cliff I could see it was a climber. I began to wave to get his attention but then froze realizing it was Ben.

"Ben! It's me!" I shouted while jumping around, but he didn't stop or look down. It was as if he couldn't hear or see me.

I knew it was Vivianna's magic that made him unaware of my presence, but I couldn't pull myself away, so I decided to wait for him and remained at the bottom of the cliff, my squinting eyes following him.

Waiting for him to climb down was torment. I ached for him like I hadn't seen him in years and all the hurt I had been trying to suppress in order to remain focused ripped through me. Tears stung at my already bloodshot eyes and I dropped to my knees feeling defeated.

When he finally reached the bottom I jumped to my feet and began to approach him. "Ben, do you see me?" I called to him, but again he ignored me and kept walking.

I took another step closer and reached out to touch his shoulder, but something stopped me. It was as though there was a sheet of glass between us, yet I didn't give up. As I followed him back to the cabin I continued my attempts to touch him and to be heard by him, but never succeeded, which left me feeling like a forlorn ghost trying to reach out to the living.

By the time we were at the door of the cabin I was crying his name and as he reached for the door knob I was so desperate to be heard I screamed to the top of my lungs, "Ben! Please... just turn around!"

He paused for a moment and slowly turned, looking at me as if I had appeared out of nowhere. "Who are you?"

"Your wife," I wept holding my hands out to him. "Don't you remember me?"

"I'm sorry," he said with an apprehensive look while taking a step back. "I think you must have me confused for someone else."

Hearing the door open we both turned and there stood Vivianna, modeling the lavender dress I had made for her the day before and forcing a look of serenity though her eyes glowed like the depths of hell.

"Benny, why don't you come in," she said sweetly, as though she had suddenly gained a soul. "I'll see what I can do for this poor homeless girl."

"Always so thoughtful," he said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

My face blanched at the sight of his lips touching her skin and I opened my mouth in protest but found my words were gone. As if that wasn't bad enough before entering the house Ben glanced over his shoulder with a look of pity but I refused to be seen as weak.

Using what little control I had left, I lifted my chin high and met his gaze with unwavering determination. Blinking his eyes the look of pity faded and I saw something else in his searching gaze. It was a brief recognition, so brief I barely caught it, but it was enough to restore my hope.

As though she caught onto it as well Vivianna waved Ben away and once he was out of sight she turned her narrowed gaze on me."You better get back to work, girl. You're running out of time and daylight and if you don't have a dress for me by tonight the deal is off," she hissed before closing the door.

And she was right. I turned around and saw that the sun was making its descent.

Making a futile effort to pull myself together I dragged my way back to the shed and began feeding the wheat into the loom. When I was done I had yards of lace and satin in varying shades of gold with embroidered designs of wheat swirling here and there. I should have been just as amazed as I had been before watching the magic of the needle and thread turn the fabric into something glamorous and lush, but nothing could lift my spirits in that moment. I was bone weary and my heart ached for a miracle. It was more evident than ever that getting Ben to wake was half the battle. I also had to make him remember me.

The needle tied off and laid before me was a dress twice as ethereal and luminous as the last. It would complete Vivianna's look as a golden goddess. I picked it up off the ground and walked towards the cabin. Even though the sun had set the dress still glowed under the moonlight and even with all my negative feelings I couldn't help but admire it.

After knocking on the door, I stood back and waited. The door opened and there stood Vivianna, her eyes glittering with greed at the dress and her fingers wiggling in anticipation to touch it.

"Not so fast," I said taking a step back. "Take me to him."

She let out a fuming breath. "I'm not sure I want to. Something about your voice... I'm not sure I can trust you around him."

"Shouldn't I be the one say that? I am his wife. You're just his ex-stepmother."

"Watch your tongue or I'll remove it," she warned.

"Don't go back on your word and I'll keep my lips sealed," I shot back carelessly, too tired to caution my words with the witch.

She looked as though she was prepared for a clever retort, but retracted as her gaze once again focussed on the dress. "Fine," she growled. "Follow me in."

After following her up the stairs, past the metal doors, and into Ben's chambers I shoved the dress at her and again fell to my knees at slumbering Ben's side. Once I heard Vivianna leave I crawled into bed next to him and buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Ben, you have to wake," I whisper in his ear. I lifted my face slightly, brushing my cheek to his as my fingers slid through his hair. "I saw something in your eyes today. You knew I was more than a stranger to you." I lifted my face above his and placed a gentle kiss to his lips, but his expression remained unchanged. If he hadn't been breathing I would have almost believed him dead. "Please wake. We have too much together for you to just give up. It's in there," I said taking his face in my hands. "You just have to search for it, Ben."

My words trailed on for what felt like hours. They were a similar rant of love and devotion to the one I had done the night before, except my words and tone were more insistent and pleading. I had to make him wake and remember, but my cracking voice was raw from crying and I was so tired that eventually I found it impossible to continue my pleas.

 _Find me in my dreams. Maybe you'll remember me there,_ I begged silently before nuzzling to his chest and falling asleep.

* * *

While preparing breakfast that morning, Alaina kept a plate to the side for Emilia and loaded it with as much food as possible not knowing when she'd be able to sneak food to her again. She wanted to do more for Emilia, but Vivianna was more watchful than usual and Alaina didn't wish to put herself in the line of fire. The last time she had challenged Vivianna she was locked in her chamber for days and every time she tried to sleep her dreams were replaced with threatening, horrific nightmares that left her in a state of fear.

Hearing someone walk into the living room she shook her head, ridding herself of the thoughts of what Vivianna could do to her, and hid the plate of food under a napkin. Turning she was relieved to see it was not Vivianna, but only Benjamin.

"Good morning. Did you have a good sleep last night?" she asked.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Have any dreams?"

It was an odd question and he looked at her suspiciously before answering. "No. I never dream." He filled up a cup with coffee and glanced around the room. "I had expected to see Vivianna down here. She woke me up and then disappeared. Where is she?"

"Trying on her new dress, I think," Alaina grumbled bitterly as she picked up Emilia's plate of food, preparing to head out the door.

"I saw a girl outside yesterday," Benjamin said taking a seat at the table.

Alaina slowly turned with a practiced look of surprise. "Oh? We never have visitors here. What did she look like?"

"She was young, petite... pretty I suppose. She seemed a bit mentally unbalanced, but there was something about her..." He paused rubbing his chin in thought. "She doesn't look like someone who is homeless, but she did seem confused. Do you know if Vivianna was able to help her?"

Alaina didn't respond right away. _There was something about her,_ he had said. It was the first glimmer of awareness she'd seen her brother have since Vivianna had brought him here and knowing Emilia had the ability to get through to him changed Alaina's outlook. She began to believe that maybe there was a chance to free Benjamin from Vivianna's grasp after all and she quickly devised a plan.

Putting down Emilia's plate, she picked up a bowl of fruit and walked over to the table prepared to place it in the middle, as she did every morning, but before she could set it down she took a deliberate stumble over Benjamin's leg.

"I'm so sorry," she said as pathetically as she could and took another stumbling step back.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he stood and helped her to a chair.

She rubbed her head and muttered, "I've got such a headache."

"Is there anything I can get you?" he asked kneeling down before her. This was the old Benjamin she loved—the little brother with a tender heart and caring eyes, and she knew that she and Emilia had to do everything they could to get him back completely, even if it meant risking her own life.

"No," she whispered. "Nothing helps. It's only I haven't slept for a few nights and I… I shouldn't tell you."

"You can tell me," he assured her. "It's not like I could tell anyone but Vivianna."

"Oh please don't'!" Alaina begged. "I'm sure I've already angered her enough. I was supposed to bring that girl to town days ago and I haven't. I think it's my guilty conscience keeping me awake." She let out a long sigh. "I'd do anything to have a full night's sleep."

He eyed Alaina wearily before saying, "I never seem to have that issue. Vivianna always gives me a glass of wine before I go to bed and it seems to do the trick."

"Hmm, that might help."

"I could speak to Vivianna about it," he offered. "Maybe she has something else she can give you."

"No… don't do that. Vivianna does so much for me. I wouldn't ask her for anything more. I'll… I'll just try to find sleep on my own. Please, Ben… don't trouble her with this," Alaina said patting his hand. "I've already messed up so much that I'm afraid of losing my job here. I don't know what I'd do..." She began to fake cry and bury her face in her hands. "I know if I could just get one good night of sleep then I wouldn't do things like mixing up the salt and sugar and leaving the iron on her clothes too long. I'm such a failure," she blubbered. "I can't do anything right!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Listen, I won't tell her and if you need the wine she gives me I believe that's it, right there," he said pointing to the wine rack against the wall. "The third bottle on the top."

 _Hidden in plain sight,_ Alaina noted. _I wonder if it's the same with the keys to the rooms._

"I see," she said in a faint voice. "I would only take a sip. You don't think she'd notice?"

"I doubt it and honestly, she wouldn't care," Benjamin said patting her back. "She's an angel."

"Yes," Alaina said with a forced grin. "She's truly one of a kind."

After Benjamin left Alaina quickly went to work replacing whatever yellowish potion that was in the wine bottle with green tea, to give it a yellowish color. She then placed it back on the wine rack, hoping that Vivianna wouldn't notice any changes.

With that done she again grabbed Emilia's plate of food and made her way out the door and to her chevy.

Hearing the truck door open, Emilia slowly opened her sore bloodshot eyes and saw Alaina with a plate of food.

"You brought me my last meal," Emilia rasped. "Is she going to turn me into a bird to keep in a cage or just straight out kill me?"

"No. She wants me to take you back to town," Alaina said. "But I'm not going to. You've got to make another dress."

"How? Out of what?" Emilia sighed wearily.

"Whatever you can find," Alaina said handing Emilia her plate of food. "I've got to get back. I just wanted to let you know I couldn't find the keys, but I took care of the sleeping potion."

Emilia's mouth dropped and her eyes brightened. "Do you think Vivianna will suspect anything?"

"I hope not, but I'm not sure about Benjamin," Alaina admitted with a worried brow. "I've got to go. Just make a dress she can't say no to."


	24. Chapter 24

"A dress she can't say no to," I muttered to myself as I wandered through the meadow of wildflowers. Plants seemed to work when making the previous dresses, so I decided to stick with what I knew worked and honestly, I had little else to work with. I just hoped that magic thread and needle could pull out one more glamorous miracle.

There were plenty of purple colored flowers, but I had already made her a purple dress. There were also yellow flowers, but again I worried that would too closely resemble the gold dress I had already made, so I began to pick various white flowers. I did this carefully remember all the times my sister Liz had taken me for walks and pointed out various poisonous flowers. Like me, Liz's interest weren't in business and had she not felt pressured by my parents I believe she would have become a botanist.

Liz was the oldest of my siblings and being that she was 14 years older than me she treated me more like I was her kid rather than her sister. When my other siblings picked on me she would always take me under her wing and entertain me by taking me for nature walks. Always in my own world I never really listened as she named off different plants we passed by, but if we came across something poisonous she would grab me by my shoulders and make me listen.

"Those smell like onions but they're not Em. They could kill you," she had warned.

It was those plants and flowers that were imprinted into my memory and one was before me. I was careful not to touch it and walked past it. However, I turned back around in thought.

 _What if I made a dress out of poisonous flowers?_

I knew more than likely it had to be digested to kill someone, but the oils from the flower could be just as dangerous to the skin or, hopefully, weaken someone like Vivianna. Digging through my bag, I found what was left of my ripped-up-scarf and used it to pick the white star shaped clustering flowers. Growing not too far from it was a flower I almost mistook for Queen Anne's Lace, but again remembered something my sister said.

"If you don't see the purple heart, don't pick it."

And this flower didn't have the purple heart, so with my scarf protecting my fingers I added it to my collection. Once I gathered enough I went back to the shed and inspected what I gathered. The various shades of white and ivory were beautiful, but I needed something more. I needed something unexpected.

I looked down at my wedding ring and considered the pearls that were held loosely by weathered prongs. I had always been so cautious with my ring because of them, but after careful deliberation, I began to pry the pearls out with my nails. It took more effort than I predicted and a ripped nail to get them to pop out, but once they were free from my ring I laid them before me on a smooth rock.

"Please forgive me for doing this, Ben," I muttered before hammering down another rock on top of them. It was, after all, his grandmother's ring, a ring he gave to me in love and trust, and here I was desecrating it.

Hearing the crackling noise of the pearls breaking I lifted the rock and with a heavy heart I looked down to see shimmering pearl dust.

After brushing the pieces of the pearls over the flowers, I then began searching around the shed for something to protect my hands while weaving and found a pair of gardening gloves.

"I wish I would have found these earlier," I said slipping them on and remembering the difficulties I had with the wheat.

After warping my loom, I carefully began to weave the white flowers and pearl dust. Yards of glimmering white gossamer began to form and though I didn't touch it I could see the fabric was as feathery soft and light. It was breathtaking, but still, I needed more.

As I took a moment of consideration I caught a glimpse of light from the sunset shining down on my ring, causing the remaining gem to glimmer. I took it as a sign and though it was the last thing I wanted to do I pried the sapphire loose.

As I had done with the pearls I tried to smash it with a rock, but all it did was scuff up the stone. I wasn't sure if the enchanted thread would fight against it like it did the wheat, but deciding it couldn't hurt to try I laid the sapphire on the warp. To my surprise, it stretched into a thin thread and began weaving itself.

The fabric that was forming was just as magnificent as what the previous dresses were made from, but that was the thing. It needed to be more. It needed to be breathtakingly rich and divinely vivid.

I looked around for something else to add, but other than the gloves, which I needed, and scraps from my scarf I had nothing else. In frustration I let out a huff and as I did a piece of my hair tickled across my cheek. As I tucked it back I realized what else I had to work with.

I wasn't vain, but I knew I had good hair. I mean, I knew I wasn't a bad looking girl, but my hair took me from ordinary to interesting. Ben loved my hair too. His fingers always found their way to my hair as mine did to his, but I knew if he cut his hair my love for him wouldn't change and I knew he'd feel the same about me in return.

Without giving myself a chance to back out, I began to take some rusted gardening shears to my lavender ends. It took some effort and I'm sure a good half of the pieces were broken rather than cut, but when I was done I was left with shoulder length ash blonde hair. Ugh. How boring. My hair hadn't been one color in years, but it was a small sacrifice to get my husband back. Well… I hoped it was a worthy sacrifice.

I narrowed my eyes at my hair as I added it to the leftover sapphire string. "You better make some fabric like I've never seen before."

Several hours later I had a pile of sapphire fabric with glimmering lavender, purple, and indigo slashing streaks through. It shined like silk, but it looked much softer; almost like velvet, but lighter and thinner.

I should have been astonished by how much my hair had dramatically changed the fabric, but my exhaustion dulled my feelings. I not only suffered from lack of sleep but each day I was there I felt as though my energy was being leeched. I knew it was something Vivianna had probably done to weaken me, but no matter how weary I felt I wasn't going to give up. Especially since this was my last chance.

After carefully removing my gloves I threaded the needle and brought it to the fabric while being mindful not to touch it. As the needle pulled away from my fingers and began transforming the fabric into a dress I stepped back and watched. The white bodice it formed was tight and strapless, but it was nothing extraordinary. I began to worry the dress wouldn't turn out as magnificent as the others, but as the skirt began to form I understood it's simplicity.

Lacey white fabric gathered tightly at the hip and dramatically fanned out into feathery layers of deepening shades of blue. Speckled throughout the blue skirt were little pearls, making the bottom half of the dress look like a night sky with hundreds of little moons. It then pulled a blue thread from the bottom and embroidered a trail of star-shaped flowers up the bodice.

As the thread tied off I found myself hypnotized by the dress' opulence and almost thoughtlessly picked it up, but remembering what it was made from, I stopped myself. Digging out the blanket I had been using to sleep with I carefully wrapped it around the gown and cautiously lifted it. With my arms stretched before me, I was careful not to let the dress touch me and I slowly made my way to the cabin.

After a few knocks, Vivianna answered wearing the wheat dress I had made for her the day before. It fit her perfectly and just as I assumed complimented all her golden tones.

"Why are you still here?" she asked testily. "I told Alaina to take you back to town. I was trying to be gracious, but if you're going to be difficult I can get rid of you another way."

"She tried, but I refused," I lied. "I wanted to make you one more dress. I just need one more night to say goodbye."

"No," she said beginning to shut the door, but tugging a corner of the blanket away from the dress I made it viewable.

She froze and stared down at it with growing desire. "I suppose being that your other nights were unsuccessful there would be no harm in one more night," she resigned as her fingers reached out to touch the dress, but I pulled it away.

"It's very delicate and like before, I'm not handing it over until you bring me to Ben."

"Fine. Follow me, rat," she sneered. "Wasn't that his nickname for you?"

"It was mouse," I corrected, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Same difference," she said, summoning me to follow with the curl of her finger.

* * *

Benjamin laid in bed feeling restless after Vivianna left. This had never happened before, but he did notice the glass of wine she gave him tasted odd. In fact, it didn't taste like wine at all. He almost mentioned this to Vivianna but stopped himself knowing it could get Alaina in trouble. He didn't want her to lose her job for drinking the rest of the wine and replacing it with what tasted like tea. So with a yawn, he laid back and acted as though he was asleep.

Before leaving his room, Vivianna had leaned down and roughly kissed his lips. "You're mine," she whispered in a voice that didn't sound nearly as sweet as it usually did.

For many hours, he tried to sleep, but couldn't. Something about the kiss felt wrong and it haunted him. No. It was more than the kiss. His thoughts were no longer placid but filled with ghost. One of these ghosts sounded like the maid, the others he wasn't sure of, but the clearest voice was that belonging to the girl he had seen two nights before. As he tried to remember her from his past the door began to open and closing his eyes he acted as though he was sleeping.

"This is your last night," he heard Vivianna say. "I'm not even sure why you're torturing yourself. He won't wake and he won't remember you."

"Just go away," he heard the girl cry. "Let me say goodbye to him alone."

"Fine. Say your goodbyes and tomorrow you leave. If you try to return I'll make sure you regret it," Vivianna threatened.

Once the door shut the girl fell to his side, sobbing and shaking him. "Ben, you have to wake. You have to hear me."

He opened his eyes and grabbing her by her shoulders he stilled her. "I can hear you."

Her mouth hung open and her tear filled eyes fluttered in disbelief. "You're awake!" her voice trembled.

"Yes, but what are you doing in here?" he questioned sitting up.

Her face paled as her expression melted into agony. "You still don't recognize me, do you?"

"Should I?" he question nervously.

"It's me!" she sobbed. She lifted his fingers to her hair. "It's the girl with the hair of lavender and wheat—" she frowned, "Well, the lavender is gone, but it doesn't matter. You must remember me. I'm your wife... _ma souris_."

 _My mouse_? He almost laughed. At 6'4" he couldn't imagine anyone calling him mouse. She, on the other hand, with her petite build and little turned up nose... He withdrew his hand, but his eyes focused on a lock of hair that fell before her face. He knew this face and he knew it was more than a face belonging to some befuddled stranger.

He drew in a sharp breath and felt an odd sensation of sudden clarity. Lifting his hand, he brushed back the ash blonde lock and searched her features. "Emilia, when did you cut your hair?"

"You said my name," she muttered almost in question, as though she wasn't ready to believe it.

"I did."

Her eyes grew wide and her shaking hands grasped his shirt. "You know me. Tell me you really know who I am."

"You're my wife... _ma_ souris," he whispered as his palm rested on her cheek and his gaze drifted over her hair. "It's a bit jagged, but it suits you."

She took his hand from her face and her gaze bore into his."You have no idea where you are and what happened, do you?"

His eyes darted around the windowless, dimly lit room and he sat up looking all the more lost. He rubbed his head trying to make sense of his surroundings and gradually his eyes narrowed with a furious awareness. She could see he remembered what brought him here and thought he'd turned that anger on her for what she did, but instead he snarled out, " _Vivianna_."

She lowered her gaze and nodded. There was shame etched in her features and he knew why it was there. They hadn't been parted on the best terms but he didn't like how guilt twisted her lovely face. He took her face in his hands and lifted it. The rage he had was replaced with tenderness and his mouth slid into a weak smile.

"You found me. How did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy," she said staring up at him in half relief and half disbelief at his swift forgiveness. "But I don't want to discuss it right now. I just want to get out of here."

"Where are we?" he asked again glancing around the room.

"Some room that Vivianna has been keeping you in."

He scowled. "How do we get out?"

She let out a long trembling breath. "I don't know. This room doesn't seem part of the cabin. The only reason she allows me up here with you is because she thinks you're under some sleeping spell. Unfortunately, she always locks the door when she leaves."

"How long have we been here?"

"Days… I think. Alaina said time goes by how she chooses."

His brow raised. "Alaina is here?"

She nodded. "I think I met your other sisters on the way here as well, but we can talk about that later. We've got to think of a way out of here before I go unconscious."

"What do you mean?"

"Somehow I fall asleep against my will and then wake up out in the yard the next day. That's why I look and smell so disgusting."

"You could never be disgusting," he said pulling her closer and bringing her lips to his for a full and thorough kiss.

With a moan, she felt herself falling surrender to the feel of his lips and hands. Part of her wanted to forget their circumstances and give into her desires, but reluctantly and almost painfully she broke away from him.

"Ben, we can't do this right now. Please, help me come up with something. I'm exhausted on all levels. I need that sharp brain of yours to come up with something."

"Alright. Give me a moment. I'm having a hard time forming a clear thought. I can't even completely recall how I got here or what I've been doing." He lowered his gaze, trying to divert his thoughts, but couldn't. "All I know is that somewhere in all this fog I've desperately needed you."

His gaze returned to hers, gleaming with need and despite her weariness, a sudden surge of energy awoke in her as her own need for him resurfaced. She had been desperate for him to look at her that way for days. It felt more like years the longer she stared back, so in an attempt to shake herself, she turned her gaze to the door.

"Please Ben, think for me. I'm so tired and my mind is a blur. I know the door is locked, so how are we supposed to get out of here?"

He scrubbed his hands over his face a few times, attempting to pull himself together. "I guess we'll have to wait until she comes back to unlock it and devise a way to either sneak out or force our way out."

"I don't think either will be possible."

"Hm? If she gives me a potion at night I wonder how I wake? Do I wake naturally or does she do something to wake me?"

"I don't know. Why would that matter?"

"Because I'm thinking of pretending to be asleep when she comes back in here so that I can meet up with you later in the day. However, I'm worried that she'll give me something to make me forget everything again. Do you see me during the day?"

She let out a shuddering breath as tears shimmered in her eyes."Yes, but sometimes you can't see or hear me."

It was in that moment he noticed how frail she looked. She'd lost weight and the circles under her bloodshot eyes showed she'd also lost sleep. He took her small hands in his and as he rubbed her fingers he noticed they felt rough. He turned them over and saw that they were covered in scratches and what looked like a rash.

"What has she done to you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

She looked down at her hands and then curled her fingers in trying to hide them. "It's what I've done to myself," she admitted in a reluctant whisper.

He grabbed her chin and lifted it. "Emilia, you have to get out of here. With or without me. You've got to stop whatever it is you're doing to yourself and go home."

She gulped and shook her chin free from his grasp. "I can't do that."

He caressed her cheek and pleaded, "You must."

"If it was me she had wouldn't you do everything in your power to save me?"

He wanted to say no, so she would leave, but he couldn't lie to her. "Yes," he confessed. Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her frail body to his and breathed in the scent of her hair. It felt like it had been years since he held her, but she was also his last memory. Nothing made sense anymore and his thoughts felt scrambled. "What are we going to do, Emilia?"

"Tomorrow… find me. I'll be," she yawned, "waiting for you by the," her eyelids grew heavy, "By the lake… by...in…mm.." her eyes closed, her body slumped, and the faint light in the room darkened. He looked over to his bedside and saw that the candle was drowning in its own wax. He tried to reach for it, so he could pour out some of the wax, but by the time it was within reach the light went out altogether.

"Emilia," he whispered in the darkness and felt around for her. Just as he found her arm the candle flickered back on. He lifted his gaze to her face only inches before his, but he didn't find her green eyes staring back. Instead, golden eyes, flickering with fury, stared back.

"This was not part of my game Benny. You're breaking the rules," Vivianna said with a forced pleasantness and unsettlingly tight grin. "I can't have that."


	25. Chapter 25

**I thought I'd be updating more in January, but life hasn't slowed down and I don't imagine it will. I almost have the next chapter complete, but it still needs a lot of work and I may end up rewriting a good portion of it. Will see what happens.**

* * *

With a thunk, I found my backside in a puddle and raindrops splashing all around me. On top of it raining it was also still dark so, unable to accomplish much other than sleep, I dragged myself to the shed, curled up in a ball, and attempted to find warmth. I was beyond fatigued, but despite my exhaustion, sleep didn't seem possible. In my wet clothes, I was chilled to the bone and my thoughts were starting to become irrational and disconnected.

Being somewhere between awake and asleep left me both physically and emotionally shattered and by morning, I wasn't sure how to piece myself together well enough to continue on. After forcing myself up off the floor, I took a deep breath and though my head was swimming, I tried to focus on remembering what Ben and I had planned.

Knowing I had gotten through to him was enough to replenish my determination. I only wished it had been enough to replenish my strength.

Feeling my stomach growl I knew what half my problem was. I hadn't eaten since the previous morning and even before that all Alaina could manage for me were a few scraps of food. I wished I had my sister Liz's knowledge of plants because I was finding myself ready to eat just about anything.

"I wonder if there's fish in that lake?" I murmured to myself as I rubbed my head. "...the lake." I gasped."The lake!"

With my brain deciding to grace me with a moment of clarity I remembered where I had told Ben to meet me, or, at least, I hoped I had. It was becoming difficult to determine what had been reality and what had been a dream.

 _I did say to meet me at the lake before I passed out, right?_

Wearily, I dragged myself up the forested hill and found my way to the lake. Ben wasn't there, so I sat down in the grasses, waiting for him as planned. It felt like I sat there for many hours, but I couldn't be sure. I should have been worried that he was caught escaping, but I was feeling... _odd_ , like I was drugged or in a trance. My eyelids kept drooping and I struggled to keep them open, but in the end, my head slumped down to the ground and I dozed off.

The world was dark at first, but little by little a small light grew. It was then I realized this weak light was coming from a candle in the middle of this windowless dark room. I sat down before it and stared at it expectantly, as though it would magically provide an answer. Catching movement across from the other side of the candle I lifted my gaze and saw someone was sitting across from me.

"Ben!"

"I wasn't sure it would work," he said moving around to be closer. Once at my side, he pulled me to his lap and hugged me tightly as he let out a sigh of relief. Even in the dream, his strong arms made me feel so warm and safe.

"Where are we? Is this a dream or is this Vivianna's magic?"

"I think it's a dream," he said as his eyes darted around the empty dark room as if expecting something to jump out of the shadows. "But it's hard to say. She did catch me awake last night. The last thing I remember was her muttering a spell. I think she tried to put me under the same spell I was previously under, but I don't think it's as strong. Right now I feel too aware to be completely asleep."

"Do you think her powers are weakening?" I asked wrapping my arms around him and nuzzling to his chest, fearing if I let go he'd disappear forever.

"I don't know for sure."

"Maybe the dress weakened her," I muttered to myself.

He looked at me confused. "Weakened her?"

"I made it out of poisonous flowers. It probably won't kill her, but I hoped it would affect her somehow."

"Poisonous flowers? Is this something you studied in fashion school?"

I laughed. "No. Plants were my sister Liz's hobby. I was just her tag along for nature walks. Anyways, that's not important right now. We've got more important things to focus on, like getting you out of wherever you are."

"I can't remember what she was wearing before she knocked me out with her spell, but something's weakening her. Even so, that's only going to help if I can figure out how to get out of this chamber she has me locked in."

"I suppose that means I'll have to find another way back into the cabin."

He took my face in his hands and lifted it so that I could see the seriousness in his eyes. "No. Don't go near her again. In fact, I want you to leave here, Emilia. Promise me you will."

I didn't answer him. Instead, I turned my gaze to the flickering candle and contemplated what to do. No matter what the danger I couldn't accept leaving without Ben. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on what little I knew about Vivianna and after clearing my mind of all that I feared the answer came to me like a whisper. It was the same murmuring whisper that had set me on this whole journey and helped me during the worst of times. I had come to trust it.

"I know what to do now," I said wiggling my way out of Ben's arms and reaching for the candle.

"Wait... what are you doing, Emilia?"

"Trust me," I said lifting the candle before my lips. "And remember who I am and that I love you, Ben."

After blowing out the candle, my eyes fluttered open. I was still by the lake, but feeling somewhat more cognizant than I had before I stood to my feet and made my way towards the cabin. Vivianna liked her games and I was ready to give her a challenge.


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry I took forever and a day to post and if you're still reading, thank you for your patience! Also thanks for the review! It totally motivated me.**

* * *

"Open up Vivianna!" I shouted pounding on the cabin door. I had been doing this for about 10 minutes, but no matter how loud I knocked or yelled she refused to answer. "What? Are you afraid to face me? Afraid that I might be more powerful than you?"

At that, the door finally creaked open. I expected to see Vivianna's gloating face, but all that was before me was complete darkness. With an anxious breath, I stepped inside and the door slammed shut behind me.

Unable to see I momentarily froze in panic, but swallowing down my fear I shook myself out of it. _Get Ben and get out of there_ , I repeated to myself as I began feeling around on the walls for a light switch. It didn't take long to realize there was none. All I could feel was the cold surface of what felt like concrete and I began to believe I had I idiotically stepped straight into one of Vivianna's chambers. My plan all depending on challenging her, but if she refused to show herself I wasn't sure there was a way out. Just as I was ready to give up and accept I was now her prisoner I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned there stood Vivianna, glowing and wearing poisonous pearl dress I had made with no sign of discomfort.

Just as I was ready to give up and accept I was now her prisoner I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned there stood Vivianna, glowing and wearing the poisonous dress I had made with no signs of discomfort.

"You should see your expression right now," she said gliding her way towards me. "What? You thought you were clever weaving hemlock and death camas into my dress? Sorry to disappoint, but I don't even feel even an itch. You should have figured this out by now, but I suppose you are a little soft in the head right now. I'm immortal, my dear."

Her honey scent smelled laced with fresh lemon —a scent I always had a weakness for— and it wrapped around me, enticing me to breath it in. Immediately, I felt myself weakening, yet I couldn't stop inhaling the fragrant air. For a moment, it was as though I forgot how to exhale until I felt my throat go dry, causing me to cough, but it did little good. Her poison was already within, coursing through my veins, and sucking the life out of me.

"You are a curious one, Emilia," she muttered walking around me, her luminescence following her like a starry mist. "Are you of my creating or are you perhaps a witch?"

"A witch? You're the witch," I sputtered.

Throwing her head back, she laughed. "Me? A witch? I think not. I'm much more powerful than that." She paused for a moment, taking me in as if trying to decide what to do with me, but I also saw what looked like a flicker of fear. It didn't last long. With a blink, she removed all traces of that emotion from her face and threw on her usual arrogant grin. "Hmm? Perhaps I let my powers get too carried away the day I cursed Benjamin. Yes. That must be it. I created you, so that means you're mine."

I knew what she said had less to do with her warped logic and more to do with provoking me, but I wasn't going to feed into it. "Where's Ben?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because he's my husband!" I shouted, shoving my hands into her shoulders, but my anger cost me. Even though I had avoided touching her dress I felt suddenly overcome with fatigue, as though I'd been poisoned. My stomach turned and my vision went spotty. Feeling as though the room was spinning I almost fell, but with a stumbling step backward I found the wall and leaned against it.

 _Get your shit together_ , I told myself as I closed my eyes in an attempt to regain my composure. _Sav_ _e your energy._

Vivianna was apparently unaffected by my sudden act of aggression and instead looked amused as she approached me. With her head tilted and an eerie glint in her eyes she asked. "Is he, though? You can hardly call him husband now since he's mine, can you?"

"What could he possibly be to you?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice calm. "You can't tell me someone like you is capable of loving anyone."

She shrugged. "I may not love him, but I do desperately need him. I've always needed men. Benjamin, however, is special. He's charming and intelligent and I want that part of him... and his years. Not only that, but you've made him more interesting. I've never had to put up a fight for a man, but I will in this case." Her smug grin returned. "I suppose it won't be much of a fight, but it will, at least, be an event to mark another era of my life. Honestly Emilia, do you enjoy being my little toy? Is that why you want to stay?"

"I won't let you toy with me anymore. I'm done," I choked out once again feeling her scent course through me, attempting to take me somewhere mind numbingly blissful.

"Is he really worth the trouble?" she questioned as she looked down at me with her sparkling golden glare. "Why would you want him now when his money is now mine and he wants nothing to do with you?"

"You can have his money. Just give him back to me. If I have to spend the rest of my life trying to win him back I will," I said digging my nails into my hands to keep myself from falling under the influences of her power. "I love him for more than what he's given me. I'd give up everything just to have him in my life again. I'd go through life criticized for marrying a poor, old man because I love him."

She rolled her eyes. "You say that, but you don't truly mean it. When it comes down to it mortals are weak creatures who eventually give into their desires."

"I do mean it," I said, daringly taking a step away from the wall. "And I want to challenge you for him."

One of her brows lifted in intrigue. "What sort of challenge?"

I swallowed. "I may not have your powers, but I have faith that Ben would know me even if he couldn't see me, so my challenge is if he can find me in the darkness then he's mine. We will leave here and you will never interfere with our lives again."

"Hmm?" She mused over this. "And if you lose, then what?"

"Then… I'm yours," I said wearily.

Her mouth twisted into a pleased grin, but she lifted her finger. "One more condition."

"What?"

Her eyes glittered with cruel anticipation. "You can not call out to him or even speak."

I opened my mouth to object, but quickly closed it, knowing that arguing could possibly end any negotiating. After an apprehensive moment, I forced a nod. "Fine, but neither can you."

"We have a deal," she hissed as she began to step away from me. With each step, the glow around her began to dim until I could no longer see her and the room, once again, became pitch black.

Minutes of silence passed and all I could hear was my pounding heart. Each waiting moment caused my stomach to tighten. The silence was unbearable and just as I began to believe I had been deceived I heard Ben's voice.

"Hello? Is anyone there."

I was surprised that Vivianna didn't break the conditions set and remained silent, but her allure was still there. The heady scent of sweet blossoms filled the air, the taste of warm honey rolled over my tongue, and the sensation of velvety warmness brushed against my right arm. I felt enticed to follow the trail it created but stopped myself knowing it was Vivianna invisible hand trying to control me.

Realizing that she could be doing the same with Ben, I almost forgot myself and called out to him, but quickly bit my tongue. Instead, I closed my eyes to concentrate and chanted in my mind, _Ben, find me. Ben, I'm here._

"Vivianna," I heard him call out.

My heart sunk, but I wasn't about to be defeated. Closing my eyes tighter, biting into my lip, and balling my fist to my side I shouted in my mind, _Ben! I'm here! Find me! Do you remember all our nights in the darkness and how you always found me? You know I'm here! Just reach out to me._

I almost gasped as I felt fingers come to rest on my shoulder. They fluttered up my neck and to my cheek, at first, unsure, but as they brushed over my features I could sense Ben's awareness. He knew who I was.

Weaving my fingers into his, I brought his hand to my lips and kissed his palm. The lights in the room flickered on and standing across from me was Ben, looking down at me with love and relief, but a sudden gust of heat drew our attention to our right.

Standing only a few paces away was Vivianna, her mouth stretched into a snarl and a golden fire not only in her eyes but also stretching up her hands and around the bottom of her dress.

"Benjamin!" she growled taking a step closer to us, her hair now streaked with blazing highlights. "Come to me!"

His pupils grew as he focussed in on her and his grasp on my hand began to loosen.

"No!" I shouted taking his face in my hands and forcing him to meet my gaze. "Ben, you know who I am, you know who you are, and you know who you truly love." As his eyes drifted between the two of us my voice grew frantic. "Don't look at her! Look at me. You know me."

"He won't hear you, dimwit," Vivianna cackled as the flames began to crawl up her arms. "He never loved you in the first place. You were simply a means to an end."

I ignored her and kept my eyes focussed on Ben repeating, "I love you unconditionally, I love you always, I love you..."

His brow began to furrow and his unnaturally large pupils began to shrink down to a normal size. As he began to see me again his mouth fell open and his hands lifted to my face. "Emilia," he breathed.

I threw my arms around his neck, forgetting that Vivianna was only an arms length away, and cried, "Yes, it's me!"

He said nothing as he gave me a crushing hug in return, but feeling the blazing heat next to us we remembered our surroundings and our moment abruptly came to an end.

"No!" Vivianna screamed reaching her fiery hand toward me. "He's mine!"

Ben quickly pulled me into his embrace and out of harms way, but Vivianna didn't stop her pursuit. Each stumbling step we took back she stalked forward. Her skin grew more luminescent and the pearl and sapphire dress gleamed and shimmered from the flames making her look like a star preparing to go supernova. I wasn't about to dismiss the possibility, but instead of focussing on the threat before me I found myself instead drawn to the dress that was supposed to be my final hope.

Remembering how I had to sacrifice my ring for that dress, my fear transformed into anger. Everything Ben and I had suffered rapidly resurfaced and I wanted nothing more than to punch Vivianna. For obvious reasons I couldn't, but I thought, _if I had something in my hand I could throw at her maybe it would be enough of a distraction for us to make a run for it._ And feeling my gnarled ring cut into my balled up fist I knew exactly what that something was.

"Get your hands off him or I'll burn both of you! I won't warn you again," she demanded through her teeth.

Anger fed my courage and I moved away from Ben as though I was ready to give up. He grabbed at my arms protectively trying to draw me back in, but I shook my head at him. I then turned to face Vivianna, narrowing my eyes at her.

She stared back with the same venom in her gaze, her mouth curled into a sinister grin, and she raised her fiery hand as if to slap me. I had planned to use that moment to throw my ring at her, but as her hand came towards me I felt Ben's grab at me and once his arms were around my waist he dragged me to the ground. Hitting the ground the ring flew from my hand and straight towards Vivianna. Shocked that her hand had missed my face Vivianna's mouth fell open and almost as if guided, in went the ring.

Grabbing her throat, her eyes went wide and her face went red. As she struggled to breathe she stumbling back and the flames began to crawl up her arms and over her body. She tried to fight the fire back, momentarily blocking it with her magic, but she was too weak to control it for long and it once again began to consume her. As the flames grew she shrunk away until all that we could see of her was her golden eyes still flickering with rage.

As sparks began launching out towards us we scrambled further away and watched in disbelief as the flame gradually died out until it was nothing more than a small smolder on the floor. There was no trace of Vivianna left or the fire, but still Ben made his way over to the smoldering ash and with a wild look in his eyes he stomped at it. He kept stomping long after the smoke was gone and with a heavy breath and slumped shoulders he finally ceased.

My reaction was no better. For a long moment remained on the ground, silently staring at the spot where Vivianna once stood. It was nothing more than a burnt black spot that began to shrink into a wood knot. Lifting my eyes, I began to notice the room was gradually changing. Windows materialized letting in light and shapes began to appear, transforming the space into what looked like the actual rustic interior of a cabin.

A knocking at the door pulled us from our stunned daze and we both turned our heads.

"Ben! Emilia!" I heard calling from the other side.

Ben quickly opened the door and there stood Alaina. She looked around bewildered as she stepped inside. "It's just as it was before," she muttered.

"What happened to you?" I barely got out, feeling both physically and emotionally exhausted.

"She caught me searching for the key," she quietly replied, but her eyes didn't meet mine. They darted around the room and finally settled on Ben. "Is she… is she gone?"

"Yes," he said taking his sister by the shoulders and staring at her in amazement. "Alaina, it's you. It's really you."

She began to cry and threw her arms around him. "And it's really you too!" After giving him a thorough hug, she moved away from him and looked around the room until she found me. "Oh thank God! Emilia, I've been so freaking worried," she said making her way over to me and wrapping her arms around me. "You did this! You saved us!"

"I couldn't have gotten this far without you," I said as I tried to stand, but my knees gave out before I could.

She caught me before I fell and helped me back into a sitting position with a look of concern. "You're dead on your feet," she said before turning to Ben. "We've got to get her out of here. She's hardly slept or ate in days."

He regarded me with a look of guilt before lifting me in his arms and walking us towards the door.

"I'm fine Ben. I'm sure I can walk to the car," I feebly argued.

"Please stop trying to play hero for a moment and let me carry you," he whispered as his hold on me tightened. "Besides, I don't want to let you go."

There was a tenderness in his eyes that quickly melted whatever willfulness I was holding onto, which wasn't much because honestly, I didn't want him to let me go either.

"Okay," I agreed, draping my arms weakly over his shoulders and burying my nose in the crook of his neck. "Let's get out of here. I never want to see this place again."


	27. Chapter 27

She was safe and that's all that matter, he tried to tell himself, but as his eyes traced down the length of her he could see all that she suffered to save him. Her clothes were spotted with mud. Hands scratched and irritated. Obvious weight loss that her already small frame didn't need. And dark circles under her puffy eyes indicating she'd spent most of her nights crying rather than sleeping.

He was furious. He wished he had been the one to end Vivianna. Being that she wasn't human there was a chance she might still be alive. If she was he swore that he'd make her suffer and this time by his own hands.

Despite his rage over what Vivianna had made Emilia suffer, he was angrier at himself. Since the beginning, he knew that bringing Emilia into his life could potentially put her own at risk and he selfishly did anyways. Part of him wished he could go back to stop himself from ever pursuing her and just end his life like he had tried to do years before.

"Is she alright, Ben?" Alaina asked as they arrived at the nearest town.

"I think so," he answered as he brushed Emilia's hair out of her face. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off her and her half-lidded gaze stayed focussed on him, but he could see she was forcing herself to stay awake. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," Emilia rasped.

"Can we stop by a gas station?" he asked Alaina.

"Sure," she said making a turn. After parking the truck Alaina looked over at a nodding off Emilia concerned. "You should stay here with her. I'll just run in and get some things."

"Yeah," he barely responded.

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

Once Alaina was gone he allowed the tears he'd been holding back to flood his eyes. "I'm sorry Emilia," he rasped drawing her nearer. "I was selfish for forcing you into this. We should have never met."

"Don't say that. It was all meant to… we were..." she mumbled incoherently. "I love you," she finally settled on.

"I told you that one day you'd know that I was the lucky one to have you in my life," he said swallowing down his tears. "Now I realize I don't even deserve you."

"Too bad," she weakly murmured as she snuggled into him, closing her eyes. "You're stuck with me now."

He let out a half-hearted laugh and kissed the top of her head. "Good."

Seeing Alaina step out of the gas station he quickly wiped away his tears and sat Emilia up. She made a feeble attempt to refuse and go back to sleep but with some coaxing eventually sat up and opened her eyes.

"Do you think you have enough energy left to eat?" he asked her with an encouraging smile.

She shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

After Alaina got into the truck she handed Benjamin a bag with a sandwich, chips, and a drink. While she drove he tried to help Emilia by feeding her the sandwich, but she was having it and stubbornly took it away from him to feed herself. As she ate she kept nodding off and finally fell asleep with her drink to her lips. Taking her drink out of her hands he pulled her back to his side. Once he was satisfied that she was peacefully asleep he took out his phone to call Ted.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

"Ben! I can't believe it's you."

"I know we haven't talked on the phone in awhile—"

"No, it's not that!" Ted cut in. "It's just crazy getting a call from you right now because... you will never guess who I just got off the phone with."

* * *

I wasn't sure what exactly happened on our way home. After speeding away from the cabin in Alaina's chevy my memories were all fuzzy. The last thing I remembered was Ben's warm arms around me and snuggling to his chest, listening to the soothing sound of his heart beat.

The next thing I knew I was in his bed struggling to wake up. Sitting up I rubbed my sore eyes and looked around confused. Was it all a dream? But as I looked down, seeing I was dressed in the same filthy shirt I had worn for days I knew it wasn't. Though I was still wearing a shirt and underwear obviously my jeans had been too gross for someone to leave me in.

Still groggy it took me awhile to stand on my feet, but as I walked to the door I heard people talking downstairs. Quietly I snuck to the top of the stairwell and looked down below. Ben sat on the couch with his two sisters Danielle and Celine and some red-haired guy of about 40 sat across from them while Alaina was busy in the kitchen talking with Eddie, who was leaned against the counter staring at her as though she were the last woman left in the world.

"It was so strange," Danielle said facing her brother. "All the sudden my memories came back to me and I immediately contacted Ted. He barely believed it was me."

"That was the same for me," said Celine. "My memories came back and I called Ted. He told me he talked to both of you and when he told me the girl I'd given my car to was your wife I could hardly believe it."

"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Ted asked Ben.

"Yeah. She's just going to need a few days to recover."

As they went on discussing all that had transpired I turned and quietly made my way back to Ben's room. I wasn't ready to face anyone yet. I wasn't even ready to face myself or what had happened. I just wanted to pretend it had all been a nightmare.

After finding my way to his bathroom I peeled my disgusting clothes off and got into the shower. Feeling the warm water wash away days of dirt I let out a sigh of relief and closed my eyes. I stayed in the shower long after I was clean and wasn't sure I ever wanted to emerge from it.

Seeing that my fingers were pruney I finally decided to drag myself out and dry off. I had a change of clothes I always kept at Ben's, but I didn't want to wear them. Instead, I searched through his closet, finding a comfortable black t-shirt, and slipped it on before crawling back into bed.

After turning the lights off I snuggled into my pillow. I wanted so badly for my mind to turn off, but it wouldn't. I was haunted by everything that happened and as soon as my thoughts began to drift the images of Ben staring at me like a complete stranger or Vivianna evil grin would resurface.

I was about to sit up and give up on sleeping when I heard the door open. I knew it was Ben, but I wasn't sure I was in the best place to mentally reconnect with him, so I acted as though I was asleep. However, hearing him flick on the lamp and feeling him crawl in bed behind me, I knew I'd have to face him.

"Are you awake?" he whispered in my ear while bringing his hand to rest on the curve of my waist.

Hesitantly I turned around and looked into his radiant blue eyes. "Yes," I managed to get out.

"How are you feeling?"

I worried my lips before answering. "A little fuzzy and sore from sleeping on the ground for so many days, but I'll be okay."

His brow furrowed in concern. "You know it's perfectly natural if you're not okay, right?"

"I know."

He moved closer to me on the pillow, bringing his searching eyes level to mine. "I heard you taking a shower and kept looking for you to come down, but you never did."

"I wanted to give you time to reconnect with everyone," I muttered keeping my eyes down.

"I know what we've been through was traumatic, but don't put up a wall between us," he said lifting my chin with his finger. "Talk to me Emilia. We've had too many secrets between us. Will you trust me now?"

"Of course, I will," I breathed finally raising my eyes. I struggled with my thoughts as I brushed my fingers through his silky brown hair and took in all the beautiful angles that made up his face. His troubled eyes followed mine, but he remained silent, patiently waiting for me to open up.

"I'm glad this line is still here," I eventually whispered running my finger over a deep dimple in his cheek. "I know I shouldn't, but I let some of the things she said get to me," I admitted unable to say the witch's name.

"Everything Vivianna said was a lie, Emilia. She was living a lie that took all her powers to attempt to convince you was real," he said taking my face in his hands. "Tell me she failed. Tell me that you know how much I love you."

I pulled his hands away from my face and looked away from him. "Did you… did you have sex with her?"

"No. I... I don't think so." He let out a frustrated sighed. "I don't know, Emilia. I can barely remember anything. All that's clear to me were those rare coherent moments I had with you," he said trying to meet my gaze. "Believe me. Please believe me."

I gave a weak nod.

"I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer."

"No. I… I know you're being honest." I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "It's just that now that you're young again, with this handsome face and so much to offer do you really want to be with someone like me? Some college girl who probably wears too much black and acts on impulse?"

His tender expression faded and became serious as he crawled above me. He remained silent as his arms slipped under me, his hands slid up to cradle my head and his finger wove through my hair, locking my head in place so that I couldn't look away from him. He was so close our noses nearly touched and I could feel his warm breath on my lips.

"Let go of these doubts, Emilia," he commanded. "I will always want to be with you, my lovely, talented, wonderful, brilliant wife. I want no other." He paused briefly, untangling one of his hands from my hair and stroking my cheek. "And know that no matter what changes, my love for you will always be the same."

I nodded as my voice seemed too doused by my tears to work. He gave me half a smile in return and lifted my head, bringing my lips to his. At first, I closed my eyes out of habit but quickly opened them to experience the intimacy in a way I hadn't before—through sight. I found him staring back and I began to laugh.

"That wasn't the response I was hoping for, but it's better than seeing you cry," he said with a bemused grin.

"Sorry. It's just I probably look like a cyclops that close," I explained.

"Hmm..." His gaze raked over me. "I suppose I'll just have to kiss lower," he said as he crawled his way down the length of my body while lifting my shirt.

His lips found their way to my stomach and as he moved up to my breast he drew my shirt further up until I finally stripped it the rest of the way off. Feeling exposed I almost brought my arms across my chest, but I reminded myself this was the same man that already knew my body intimately through touch. Instead, I grabbed at the bottom of his shirt and yanked it up so that we were even. Soon other garments were tossed away from the bed and we came to learn each other all over again.

I felt I couldn't know him enough. I traced and retraced my fingers and palms across every curve of his muscles and every stretch of skin. I could feel his defined build in the dark, but seeing it gave me a whole new appreciation for the man I had married. After making him flex a few times for my amusement he got tired of letting be in command and began to take control, drawing my hands above my head, and making his way down my exposed body.

Whatever insecurities I had were vanquished by his lips and I found myself surrendering all the more to each touch. When we finally grew impatient with all the exploring caresses and brought our bodies together I felt more overwhelmed than I had when we first made love.

This was how it should be. This was how I knew it would be.

The way he looked at me was as though he could see me down to my breath, heart, and soul and I could see the same in his eyes as they stayed fixed on mine while we moved together. Clinging to the edge of my emotions I finally let go and I found he was there to catch me as he always had in the darkness; as he always would in the light.

In his arms, I felt complete once more and fell into a deep sleep. That night I dreamed of a couple that almost looked like us, but perhaps from another time. They walked away from me, hand in hand, through where a field of lavender and wheat. I couldn't see their faces, but I felt they were happy.

I watched on as though emotionally I knew their story. I knew they had suffered, but now felt released from that. As they walked away, disappearing into the distance, I felt as though they took whatever pain and doubt I had left with them.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. It was still night. I immediately felt for Ben. I let out a breath of relief as my hand settled over his arm wrapped around me. I turned around in his embrace to face him. The curtains that were usually drawn shut at night were pulled back and with the moonlight streaming in I could just make out his features.

Gently I traced my fingers over his features and smiled to myself. It was still hard to believe I wasn't dreaming. He was there and I vowed nothing would take him away from me again.


	28. Chapter 28

**I've got a few loose ends left with this story, so I'm not quite done. After this chapter, I've got two more chapters. My next undertaking is a modern day retelling of Twelve Dancing Princesses. Not sure when I'll post the first chapter of that. Probably sometime after summer.**

 ***Also, you may have noticed I made some changes on this chapter. Sorry. I pasted the 1st drafts chapter rather than the edited and hehe, have been fixing it. Totally flubbed up.**

* * *

"Do you think everyone's asleep?" I whispered as we both snuck downstairs.

"Alaina is the only one here right now and she's a heavy sleeper," he said tiptoeing into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of wine and two glasses before we made our way outside to the balcony.

It had been days since our return and, for the most part, I either stayed in the bedroom or my design studio. Much of my reclusiveness stemmed from sleeping during the day since I was suffering from nightmares at night.

Ben tried to enter my dreams when he fell asleep so that I wasn't alone in the nightmares, but he discovered he no longer had that power. Instead, he soothed me by holding me in his arms and whispering sweetly in my ear. There were times I had to do the same for him in return, but he never looked as though he was afraid. Instead, I saw anger flicker over his face as he dreamed and I wondered if we'd ever be the same again.

After pouring our glasses he sat down in the arondyke chair and pulled me to sit on his lap. Even though I was sitting on his lap I couldn't keep myself from looking up at him over my shoulder and studying his face.

"You are too good looking, you know that? Devilishly handsome," I said running my hand down his face. "It's those French cheekbones."

He grinned and ran his hands over mine as it traveled over his jaw. "Just the cheek bones?"

"And the lips. I love your lips," I sighed as I traced my fingers over them. "You really know how to use them too."

He let out a soft rumbling laugh and leaned down demonstrating their potency.

As I pulled away from our kiss and brought my left hand down from his face I looked for my ring, but soon remembered its loss. I rubbed my thumb across the line of pale skin where it had once been and felt a knot form in my throat.

"We will get another one, Emilia," Ben said softly as he took my hand. "It was a small sacrifice for what it gave us, my freedom and your life."

"I want it to look just like the old one. Do you have a picture of it?"

"I might have a picture of my grandmother wearing it, but all the albums are locked up elsewhere. I'll have to see if Ted can locate them."

We both fell silent after that and in an effort to forget about my ring I looked skywards, but even that did not help. The moon was full and bright like a pearl against the dark sapphire night sky reminding me of the pearls I had plucked out of my ring to make that dress. That beautiful dress that burnt up with that horrible woman.

"Where are your thoughts?" Ben asked.

"Just admiring the moon," I fibbed. "It's so bright and full."

Lifting my shirt to above my navel and tracing his fingers over my tattoo he agreed, "Yes. It's very beautiful."

"Ha ha, not that one," I said drily. "The one up there."

"I'm more interested in this one. Why the moon?"

"No real reason," I admitted. "Hannah went to get a tattoo one night and dragged me to the parlor with her. Somehow she talked me into getting one too, but I didn't know what to get. I told her I needed to think it over, but then I looked out the window and saw a full moon." I pointed to the other side of my stomach and said, "I'm getting a sun tattooed here at some point."

"Why's that?"

I smiled up at him. "You once said that being in love with me was like being east of the sun and west of the moon."

"I did, didn't I?" he mused.

"That's how I knew where to find you," I told him feeling my throat began to tighten as I revisited that moment in my mind.

"What do you mean?"

"The wind spoke to me. It told me I could find you east of the sun and west of the moon."

"You remembered the story I told you about my mountain climb." He fell silent as he took this in. I could see him working through the connections that brought me to him. "I sometimes wondered if you were listening while I rambled on."

"It wasn't rambling to me," I said taking his hands and using them to pull his arms tighter around me. "I've never had a person be that open with me. It was in those moments I knew I loved you and it made me feel comfortable enough to share myself with you."

"It was easy to share my heart with you." He sighed and buried his nose in my hair. "In so many ways I feel like I knew you before we even met. Like my soul knew yours. And then after we became close I found our relationship surpassed everything I had always assumed about sharing a life with another. It felt so right, so natural, and it changed me for the better."

"I felt the same way," I admitted. "I've changed since meeting you, but in a good way. I've grown up." My mouth broadened into a pleased smile. "It's funny because my family has been trying to get me to grow up for years by changing me, but it was your encouragement and support to be who I am that actually helped me grow as a person. I wished my parents had done that for me. I'm going to encourage our kids to be who they want to be."

"Our kids?" he repeated. "Are you…"

"No!" I blurted out. "No. I'm not ready for that. I switched to the shot after we started having sex just so I didn't have to remember a pill every day."

"I wouldn't be against us having a baby, but I think I'd like you to myself for a few more years."

"Definitely. I feel the same," I agreed as I cuddle closer to his chest. "You will be a great father and we'll have the cutest kids."

"Kids, huh?" His mouth broadened into a grin. "How many should we have?"

"Four?"

His eyes widened. "Four?"

"What? I came from a family of five siblings and you're from four. It just makes sense to have a big family."

He nodded and the corner of his mouth lifted into a sly grin. "You know, I'm not getting any younger."

I chuckled. "That does bring up a question. How old are you?"

"32."

My brow lifted. "32? We're 10 years apart?"

"What? Am I still too old for you?"

"You might be," I said trying to keep a serious face, but eventually my lips cracked into a grin. "No. It's perfect for me. I've always had a thing for older guys."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm still disgusted with myself for coercing you into marrying me when I had looked old enough to be your father."

I chuckled. "I wouldn't call it coercion, but you did use some mad persuasion skills. Getting into my dream and bribing me with a luxury design studio. How in the hell did you do that anyways?"

"Get into your dreams? I'm not sure. I suspect it has something to do with being cursed. Maybe I had a little magic in me because of it. But sometimes I think it's you that has some sort of magical powers because you've bewitched me."

"Wow. That was sweet, Ben, but really corny."

He laughed. "Ya, that was pretty terrible." He then bit his lip in a silent thought before adding, "Maybe it's something beyond us. Some sort of supernatural powers at work?"

"Like a fairy godmother?"

"Maybe. I honestly don't know."

"So really, how did you discover you could enter my dreams?" I asked. "You have to tell me. It's been on my mind forever."

He looked upward at the night sky deep in thought before answering, "I was thinking of you non-stop after that night we first met. I waited for your call all night and fell asleep praying and wishing I had a way to prove to you I was more than this old man that was after a young girl for twisted reasons."

I chuckled.

"I eventually fell asleep and found myself connected to your thoughts… your dreams. It was so bizarre. I felt like I was trespassing into someone's yard. I could see into all your ponderings and wishes and with your deepest desires hovering there like fresh red apples hanging from a tree I gave into temptation." There was a mixture of mischief and guilt that glinted in his eyes before he continued. "And I plucked the reddest and ripest one."

"My design studio," I said giving him a disapproving look. "You would hone in on my first love."

"I am the child of an artist, so I admit it, it wasn't difficult for me to spot your weakness. Can you forgive me?"

"I think so," I said turning around so I could face him. Placing my legs to each side of him and running my hands up his shirt I added, "But you're really going to have to make it up to me."

The corner of his mouth lifted as his eyes darkened. "Should we go back up to our room?"

"I think that would be wise since your sisters are here, but one day I'd like for us do a little exploration of the house," I said standing and walking inside. "Right now I'd like another glass of wine."

He held out his glass. "Can you get me one too?"

"I suppose, but just to make things clear I'm not the kind of girl that will always fetch your drink," I said filling my own glass first. "You've met my mother. My family doesn't breed that kind of women."

He followed me inside. "I imagine in another time Olivia would have been a shield maiden," he said knitting his brow at the thought of my formidable mother. "Honestly, she's the only one that intimidates me at your family's company."

"I imagine your mother was much more nurturing and maternal," I assumed handing him his glass.

"She was. I wish she was alive to meet you. I think you would have liked her."

"When did she pass?"

"When I was 17. She was visiting family in France during Christmas and got in a car wreck." He looked down at his glass in an effort to hide the unshed tears in his eyes. "The last time I saw my family there was at her funeral."

"We should see them again," I suggest. "Maybe after I graduate?"

"Really? You'd be alright with that?"

"Don't judge me, but I've never been out of the United State," I confessed. "So I'd be more than okay with that."

"Maybe we could go to Paris for a few weeks as well. That's like every designers dream destination, right?"

"One of them, but it all depends on your taste."

"It's all beyond me. Cecile knows more about the fashion world than I do," he said. "I know nature, wine, and, unfortunately, business."

"Cecile is so pretty. All of your sisters are. They can't be that much older than you."

"Danielle is 41, Celine is 37, and Alaina is 34."

"Who was the redheaded man I saw a few days ago?"

"Ted. He's the family lawyer and has been since he passed the bar," he told me. "His father and my father were best friends growing up, so after Ted's father died my father took him in. In a way, he's more like a member of the family."

"Did you tell him everything? About the curse and me and… the cabin?"

He nodded.

"And he believed it?"

"He met Vivianna before."

That was all I needed to know. "I see."

"He and Danielle were in a relationship before she disappeared," he told me trying to lighten the conversation.

"Really? Do you think it will pick up where it left off?"

"I know it will. He never believed she was dead and waited for her all these years. I don't even think the man has dated."

"Wow. He must really love her," I muttered as I placed my glass down and turned to wrap my arms around his waist. "What about your other sisters?" I asked resting cheek against his chest. "What were their lives like before?"

"Celine was a model… and I think she was in a relationship with Sabrina."

I lifted my brow surprised. "That explains Sabrina's willingness to help me and her nonstop talk about Celine."

He chuckled. "They never came out with it, but it was pretty obvious."

"And Alaina? What about her? Did she have a great love?"

"Alaina was actually in the middle of her master's degree in English Literature." He smiled. "Her great love was always books, but she seemed to be behaving rather friendly towards Edie earlier."

"Eddie?" I questioned shocked. "Isn't he like 40 something?"

"He's 43, so they're about the same age difference as us."

"That's true," I said. "So I'm assuming Eddie knows everything now."

"Most of it," he said tucking my unmanageable lock of hair behind my ear.

"How are your sister's dealing with everything? It can't be easy readjusting after being spellbound for so long."

"They're…" he let out a long breath while fidgeting with the end of one of my tresses, "They're doing better than I expected they would. I think the fact that Ted hadn't moved on made a big difference for Danielle and I think it will be the same case for Celine with Sabrina, but Alaina will take more time. She had to endure more than any of us over the years, but she'll adjust in time."

Before he could pull his hand away I grabbed it and held it out so that I could look at the scar on his wrist. "What happened here?" I asked tracing my thumb over it.

"You don't want to know," he muttered turning his wrist back over.

I let go of his hand and look up him stunned. "Hannah has a scar just like that. You tried to slit your wrist once, didn't you?"

He took a deep breath before nodding. "It was after the curse. I wasn't confident you existed and I was lost. My sisters were missing and I had to hide from everyone I once knew. I felt alone and for a long time, I just lived like a vagrant. I'd speak to Ted on the phone and he'd offer to help me, but I couldn't accept it because I couldn't let him see me. The curse was crippling me and I wasn't sure what there was left to live for." He paused turning his eyes away from me in shame. "I did it in an alleyway and blacked out. When I came to I was in a hospital room, stitched up, and alone. I knew I couldn't explain why my drivers license was that of someone in their 20s when I looked 60, so I fled. I went back to my apartment, packed what I could in a duffle bag, and took a cab to Oregon."

"I wish I could have been there for you earlier," I said lifting his wrist up and placing a kiss on the scar.

He stroked my cheek and kissed to top of my head. "No. I was a mess then. I'm glad you came into my life when you did."

"I suppose, but I hate thinking of how lonely you must have felt all those years on your own. What kept you going?"

"I found this place," he sighed as his gaze roamed over the dark rolling hill barely lit up by the moon out the window. "You know how you said the wind spoke to you that day I went missing?"

"Mmhm."

"It did the same for me when I found myself here. It was such a faint voice that I wasn't sure was real, but when I was feeling hopeless I would hear it say, She's out there. Wait for her." His wandering eyes then settled on me. "It was a long wait, but completely worth it."

"How did you discover where I was?"

"It was strange. I went into my office one morning and there was a newspaper from Montana on my desk. I couldn't figure out how in the hell it got there, but when I looked down I saw a familiar name, Nilsson. I kept asking myself, Why do I know that name? I wondered if it was a company we had connections with, so I began looking through the archives and then I found it, Oscar Nilsson."

"My grandfather."

"I think I saw him once when I was maybe 9 or 10. He wasn't the sort of man you forgot."

I snorted. "No, he's not. Even though he's in a wheelchair now he still scares me."

Ben chuckled, "He scared me too. I remembered him storming out of my father's office spouting off swear words and threats. I never knew why until I talked to Ted years later and found out that my grandfather sort of screwed him over when they ended their partnership. My initial intentions were to set things right between our family's businesses, but then I saw a picture of you on Mickey's desk."

"Oh God, not the one from the family picnic?"

"That's the one," he said grabbing my waist and lifting me, to sit me on the countertop. "I took one look at you and knew I had to meet you."

"You must have low standards. I was looking terrible that day and I was so pissed off. I had just had a big fight with my mom about my future."

"I thought you looked beautiful, but you did look pissed off," he admitted trying his best not to grin.

"Would you have dated me before your curse?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Oh ya, you were definitely my type," he said running his hand over my thighs.

I shivered from the sensation it caused and wrapped my arms around his neck. "What type is that?"

"Great taste in music, tenacious, artistic, big green eyes, petite," he murmured as he kissed his way down my neck and ran his hands up my shirt. "How about me? Am I your type?"

"I never had a type," I admitted as I took his face in my hands, kissing my way down his forehead and the bridge of his nose. "I did have a thing for guys with dimples, though," I whispered before placing a kiss to the deep dimple in his cheek.

He moaned as his hands began exploring my breast. "We should go to bed."

"I'm not tired."

"Neither am I," he said lifting me once more to throw me over his shoulder.

"This is completely unnecessary," I laughed trying to wiggle my way back down to my feet.

"Shh… just go with it," he said giving me a teasing swat on my butt.

I let out an exasperated groan and went limp.

"Good. Now I can carry you over the threshold like I should have done after we got married."

"For one, to do it properly you should carry me in arms, not over your shoulder, and secondly, it's the door you use to enter the house, not the bedroom. Now you can put me down."

"I will when we get to our bedroom," he said climbing the stairs.

I chuckled. "You're impossible."


	29. Chapter 29

**I know I took forever to finish this last chapter, but I'm finally done! Thanks for reading, following my story and reviewing. I'll (hopefully) be back sometime around September to post another story.**

* * *

It was my last semester and because of always taking on a heavy load I only had two classes left. One of those was Advanced Fashion Design and when I found out it was Mrs. Hecker who was teaching, I nearly retreated, but then I remembered I was no coward. I had faced Vivianna and Mrs. Hecker didn't seem nearly as scary as she once had.

Since I only had classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays I was able to spend Friday through Monday with Ben. We found it difficult to leave our bedroom now that we were able to re-explore each other with the lights on, but eventually forced ourselves to face the responsibilities we had long neglected. I would make my way up to my studio in the attic to work on my finals projects and he would find his way to his office.

The following weeks after I started my classes we spent our night together, but we rarely saw each other during the daytime, which was for the best. I needed to focus on my designs and he needed to focus on the life he had distanced himself from for eight years.

On a few occasions I had returned from school I saw cars with government plates leaving the house and later discovered that it was the investigators who had been searching for Ben's missing family members over the years. Even stranger was another group that also came in cars with government plates, but they seemed less concerned with Ben's missing father and more curious about Vivianna. One of these investigators, a man with a slight Eastern European accent, seemed particularly more interested than the other investigators and asked questions that made me think he knew what we knew—that Vivianna wasn't mortal.

"Did you ever see her do anything that defied what you thought possible? Like things that seemed unnatural?" he asked.

"I can't really remember," Ben answered as he always had. "As I told the other investigators every time I was around her I felt as though I was drugged, which I probably was. I imagine it's what she had been doing to my father for years as well."

The investigator smiled and nodded, but I could see in his eyes that he wasn't buying it.

Before, I had never been around for the actual questioning so after the investigators left I gave Ben my own set of questions as to who they were and what they wanted, but Ben was dismissive about it. I knew he didn't want me to worry and he was ready to move on, but I needed to know, so I coaxed the answer out of Alaina.

"Every time I'm here it seems there's some black car parked out front with men in black suits, but this last group seemed... different. They were dressed casually and asked odd questions. Do you really think they were with the FBI?" I asked as I began pinning fabric to a body form.

"I don't know. Judging by that Milosh guy's questions it seemed he knew the truth behind all of it. The others just seemed curious as to how and why we've returned out of nowhere, yet our father and Vivianna are still missing."

"What did you tell them?"

"We decided to stick with parts of the truth… the believable parts. We told them that after our father went missing Vivianna began threatening us, so we all decided to part ways and go into hiding."

"That makes sense. Telling them that Vivianna kept you captive would only create further questions you can't really answer," I commented as I began to hand stitch the black and burgundy orchid shaped fabric into the bodice. "What are you going to tell them about your father?"

"The truth. That we haven't seen him since he went missing," she said solemnly as she ran her hands over a bolt of black organza on the sewing table.

"Do you think he's still alive?"

She shook her head and walked over to stand next to me. "Has Celine seen this yet?" she asked changing the subject.

I straightened out the flowing burgundy skirt of the gown and took a step back to inspect it. "Not yet. I was going to show both her and Sabrina when they visit next weekend."

"I think they'll be stunned. This is exquisite," she said gently tracing her fingers down the row of scattered black beads I had hand sewn to the side of the waist.

Hearing someone come up the ladder we both turned and Ben's head popped up through the door. "I need to come up with a different system to get up here," he said pulling himself up to the floor.

"I like it the way it is. No one can come up unannounced," I said with a mock reproving tone as I walked over to help him to his feet.

His mouth stretched into a sly grin as he wrapped his arms around me. "Are you hiding something, ma souris?"

"Maybe. I suppose you'll just have to search me for it," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You both are disgusting," I heard Alaina say behind us. "I'm out."

"No. You don't have to leave," I said wiggling out of Ben's hold and following her to the ladder. "We will cool it."

"I have yet to see that happen when you two are around each other, but that's alright. I told Eddie I'd meet up with him today, so I should probably do that."

Once she was gone I turned to face Ben but found him studying my three mostly completed gowns. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"What do you think?" I asked peering around him.

"It looks very different from all the designs I've seen in your sketchbook," he admitted.

"Different good or different bad?"

"Different good, but I guess I'm confused," he said scratching his chin. "I thought you were more into costume design rather than fashion design."

I shrugged. "I'm leaning more towards fashion design lately, but I'll probably do both to really get my name out there."

"There's still elements of your style in the color palette and shape, but it's not as rigid as before. Everything seems to flow a little more."

"That's what I was going for." I walked around him and sighed as I ran my fingers down the skirt of one of my dresses. "It's nothing compared to those dresses I made Vivianna. I wish I could have kept them or at least the thread and needle."

"I had Ted search the cabin twice, but he never found them," Ben said pulling me into his embrace. "Maybe they were a loan from our benevolent spirit."

I leaned my head against his chest and let out a resolved breath. "Maybe. It's probably for the best that I don't have them anyways. Using enchanted needle and thread would have made me feel like I was cheating and I enjoy putting my efforts into the gowns. It keeps my mind distracted."

"I help you with that too," he reminded me.

I smiled up at him. "Yes, you do. You're a wonderful nighttime distraction."

"How about you take a break from this and I fill in as your daytime distraction."

"I have been working hard. I probably should take a break."

"I think you more than earned it," he whispered as he began placing light kisses down my neck.

"But we really shouldn't," I teased drawing my fingers up the back of his shirt. "I know you have things you need to be doing."

"Oh come on," he purred as he pulled me down to the floor and into a pile of discarded pieces of blue satin. " _Je sais_ que vous voulez _me_ baiser _."_

I gaped at him. "I have no idea what that meant, but it totally turned me on."

He then whispered the meaning in my ear causing me to laugh.

"You are bad," I said running my hand down his jawline. "I didn't realize you spoke French so fluently. You should speak it to me more. It's very persuasive."

"Really?" he said rearranging us so that I was under him.

Bringing his lips to my ear he began whispering words that for all I knew could have been insults, but the way they rolled off his tongue and the caress of his hands had me wiggling, impatient for more. If distracting me was his goal he accomplished it. I was well beyond distracted.

* * *

Love can help you heal, but I knew it would also take time before I felt relatively close to my old self again. I had changed and I was still getting used to this person I'd become. It was strange to think that just a year before I was this rebellious girl who thought she knew all she needed to know of the world. Now I felt like I knew nothing. I had experienced something I would never have believed was possible and it left me feeling uncertain.

Though I had been driving back and forth from California to Oregon for the first part of the semester I knew that wasn't going to be possible for the last half. I told myself it was for the best. Ben had so much to straighten in his own life and I didn't want to take him away from that. Not only that, but I needed to stay focussed on my own projects.

I had hoped that I would be so busy with school that I wouldn't have time to feel lonely, but when I was alone in my apartment my mind often left my studies and returned to Ben, remembering the taste of his lips and the feel of his touch. Speaking to him at night had somewhat soothed my need for him, but nothing could make up for his absence in my life.

Missing him was the most difficult part about returning back to my student life in San Fransisco, but I found the second most challenging part was hiding the truth from Hannah. Despite my attempt to act like the old Emilia I could see that Hannah was suspicious of my behavior. I was quieter than I had been before and I couldn't walk down the street or around the campus without studying the faces of the people I was passing.

Vivianna had burnt away before my eyes, but I still wasn't confident she was dead. She had, after all, bragged about being immortal and I always worried she would find me. Ben was haunted by the possibility as well, which was why we eventually decided to go on a vacation after I graduated.

 _"I never got to take you on a real honeymoon,"_ he explained during one of our phone conversations. _"You have been working so hard on your finals. You deserve it and need a change of scenery."_

But I knew he needed a break just as much as me. With Ted taking care of the business, the investigators finally giving Ben and his sisters space, and my classes ending it all seemed to be falling in place. Everyone was more than willing to help Ben with all his responsibilities and it seemed he was finally starting to catch up, but there were a few things I still needed to take care of before leaving. One of those was presenting my fashion collection to Mrs. Hecker to receive my final grade.

"Your designs have evolved Emilia," Mrs. Hecker said as she walked around one of my dresses and eyed the skirt draping. "The lines are less sharp and more flowing. Your palette has expanded too. The designs still have that dark, almost avant-garde, quality to them that you seem to prefer, but there's an elegance I've never seen in your dresses before." She ran her finger over the small cluster of black fabric petal I had sewn along the collar and center of the corseted bodice. "I am a little confused by the change, though. This looked more haute couture than theatrical. I thought costume design was your preferred niche."

"I've changed since last semester," I admitted. "I'd like to do both now."

She nodded and gave me half a smile. "I think you've made a good choice, but what changed your mind?"

"I use to be afraid to explore fashion outside my comfort zone, but I learned fashion design can be just as creative as costume design. The difference is in the details, so I've simplified and put more artistic work into the little things, like the stitches, buttons, needlework, and form of the fabric. I wanted to make designs that made people take a second look."

"What inspired this?" she asked.

"A journey I took this summer," I admitted and added. "And love."

Her usual tight lips formed into an approving smile. "So, what's your plans for the future?"

"I'm going to France for a few months and hope to explore design there," I told her, but it wasn't entirely the truth. I was going away to heal and clear my mind. More than likely I'd be leaving my sketchbook at home.

"France?" Her eyes lit up. "I wish I was going. I haven't been to Paris for years. I'm due for a trip," she confided. "When you get back you must come see me again and show me your progress." I almost couldn't believe she was the same professor that almost failed me. She was acting so friendly.

"I will," I promised blinking away my look of surprise.

"Maybe then I can introduce you to some of my connections in theater," she added. "If that's where your focus remains."

I gaped at her. "Really?"

She nodded and lifted a sleeve of one of my dresses, examining the stitches. "I see a lot of potential here Emilia. I was surprised that you chose not to show them at the summer fashion show."

"I wanted too, but I'll still be in France then," I told her.

"I could show them for you," she offered. "But you will have to take them in first. All of these will hang on our current models."

"I made them so that they could fit different sized woman and, I'm sorry, but I won't change that. I know it's not the standard for the show, but I feel an obligation to make dresses that are flattering to all shapes."

"I suppose I could find models that could meet these measurements or at least close to. There, of course, would still be some alterations, which I'd be willing to do for you."

"You… you would?" I stammered.

"Yes, but only if you can promise me you won't let your love life get in the way of your career in the future. I'm serious Emilia. I haven't seen this sort of potential from a student in many years. I'd hate to see your talents wasted."

"That won't ever happen with Ben. He's ready to support me with whatever I chose."

"Sounds like a good man," she said stepping towards the door to leave.

"He is."

"Good luck then," she said sticking out her hand, but instead of taking it I gave her a hug.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hecker," I said feeling a prickle of tears.

"No need to thank me," she said giving me a quick awkward hug back before pulling away with a professional expression. "You've worked hard for it. Thank yourself and remember to see me when you return. I'll keep your dresses safe until then and I'll let you know how they were received by the fashion world."

After gathering up my travel sewing kit and taking one last look at my dresses I practically skipped my way out of the campus building and began looking around for Ben's jeep. He decided after all my driving to his house over the last year it was his turn to come to me.

He saw me before I saw him and quickly parked on the side of the road before me. Disregarding all the onlookers I rushed to his jeep, threw my bag in the back, and after clambering my way over the passenger side seat I flung my arms around Ben's neck and began covering him with kisses.

"I guess I don't need to ask if you missed me," he said grasping my shoulders to steady me. He met my gaze, but only for a moment before pulling me onto his lap and bringing my lips to his for a passionate kiss.

After hearing someone shout, _get a room!_ I broke our kiss and sat back in my seat panting.

"I guess I don't need to ask you the same."

"I've missed you and dreamed of you in more ways than I should admit to," he said with a telling grin. "So," he cleared his throat and ran his hands through his hair, "How did everything go?"

"Way better than I expected. Mrs. Hecker thinks I'm progressing in my designs and said she'd like to show my dresses for me at the fashion show."

"That wonderful. I'm proud of you, Emilia," he said giving my hand a quick squeeze before starting up the jeep.

"I couldn't have done it without you. Now I just have to face Hannah."

"Should you call her and tell her we're on our way?"

"I did already, but I only told her that I was on my way."

He blinked at me before starting putting his car in drive. "You still haven't told her about me?"

"Er... I've been looking for the right opportunity?"

"Who does she think is paying for the apartment?"

"My parents."

"So she has no idea that you've been married?"

I shook my head.

He was silent for a moment before asking, "Does she even know you're with someone?"

"I think she's suspected it, but I've never confirmed it."

He rolled his eyes. "This should be interesting to watch unfold."

After Ben parked by the apartment, I began nervously wringing my hands. "Stay here for like 10 minutes. I think I should talk to Hannah before you come up."

"Probably," he said wryly.

I made a face at him and feeling defensive my words came spilling out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell her before. I wasn't even sure you were who you said you were. It was all very confusing and I didn't know how to defend my choice in marrying someone my intuition was telling me to even though everyone else in my life was telling me I was crazy. I didn't want Hannah thinking I was crazy too, though I doubt she would have and now it doesn't even matter because I don't care what anyone else thinks."

After the last of my words came spilling out of my mouth I expected Ben to stare at me as though I'd lost my mind but instead he started laughing. "That was hard to follow, but I see your point and I don't blame you. I haven't made it easy." He then gently grabbed my chin and leaned in giving me a quick kiss. "Take your time. I'll just wait for a signal before going up."

* * *

Anxiously I made my way up to my apartment and knocked on the door before taking out my keys to unlock it.

Hannah opened it before I could turn the key and arched her brow at me. "Why do you always knock?"

"Because I'm the youngest of five siblings," I explained as I stepped inside. "Don't enter rooms without knocking was drilled into my head all my life."

She laughed. "What were your family doing behind closed doors?"

"I don't know. I don't want to know," I said coming to stand before a row of boxes. "Thank you for packing all of this," I said turning to her, still wringing my hands. "You're the closest friend I've ever had and I'm going to miss living here with you."

"Why are you looking at me like that? What happened? Did someone die?"

"No. I just need to talk to you about something."

"What? Are your parents not going to let me stay here for my last semester?"

"No you can stay here, but," I took a deep breath, "My parents haven't been the ones paying for this place."

"What do you mean?"

"I've got something to tell you, but please don't flip out, okay?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, you haven't become like an escort or stripper to pay for this have you?"

"No! But… I'm just going to say it. You know how last year you were asking me if I met someone?"

"Ya?"

"Well… I did and we got married."

Her face paled. "You what?"

"I got married and I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd judge me."

"Why? Is he like in the mafia or like an ex-con or something? Oh my god… is this apartment paid for with drug money?"

"No. He's the guy that saved my parents business."

Her face dropped. "You married a rich businessman? But that's… that's so unlike you. You hate corporations. You told me that corporate America was all that was wrong with the world and you were ashamed your family was part of it."

"You know me, I've always been a bit dramatic with my opinions," I said with the dismissive wave of my hand but she didn't look convinced. "I mean, I'm still not a fan of big business, but the way Ben goes about it is different. He doesn't work solely for his profit. He's got ethics."

"So he tells you."

"No. I've seen it with my own eyes. He's not even a business type guy. He has a degree in Earth Sciences. He fell into business because after his father passed he had to..." But my words were cut off by a knock at the door. "Oh, shit. That's probably him."

"Excuse me?"

"He's helping me with my boxes," I explained. "I'm sorry. I should have told you he was coming. I told him to wait until I was done talking to you, but he must have thought I was taking too long."

She held up her finger, ready to protest, but I didn't give her a chance. I opened the door and let him in. She took a step back and her eyes widened.

"I told you to wait until I signaled you," I muttered out of the corner of my mouth.

"I saw you waving your hands around," he whispered. "Was that not the signal?"

I let out a frustrated sigh and turned to Hannah. "Hannah this is Ben. Ben, this is Hannah"

She said nothing but looked him up and down before pulling me towards her and turning us away from him. "Okay, I take it all back," she whispered. "Hot damn, he's fine."

"Thank you," Ben said from behind us.

She turned us back to him, flushed and hesitantly stuck out her hand. "I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay here while I finish up my semester."

"My pleasure." Instead of shaking her hand he kissed it.

She stared up at him with a dazed grin. "Do you have a brother?"

"No, three sisters," he said.

"That could work for me too."

"Hannah!"

"What?"

"They're all taken," I told her.

"I guess I'll just have to find another way for us to become sisters. Is your brother still dating that bimbo?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't do that to you. Thomas is a douchebag."

"Ya, but I could whip him into shape."

I laughed and shook my head. "Alright, dropping the conversation because we got to go. I've got to take this stuff back to Ben's… our home," I quickly corrected myself. "Then we have to go to Montana to see my family," I added despairingly.

"Okay, okay, I suppose I'll let you leave with Mr. Romance novel," Hannah said grabbing my shoulders. "But please don't forget about me."

"I'm not leaving your life," I chuckled. "I'm just moving in with my husband and when we return back from France you and I can meet up because I'll have gifts for you."

"France? What? What!" she gasped. "You're going to France without me?"

"His family is there, so it's more of a family trip than a recreational one," I explained.

"Oh, of course, you would be French," she said condescendingly. "I suppose I couldn't let my roomie leave for any less, so have fun, you better visit me when you get back, and take lots of pictures."

"We will," I said hugging her. "Try not to have too much fun without me."

"Please, I should be saying that to you."

"I promise I'll bring back lots of chintzy nick-nacks for you."

"You better," she said heading towards the door. "I got to go meet up with some peeps. Do you need anything else?"

"No. Thank you and I'll see you in a couple of months," I said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

She gave me one last hug and walking away said, "Au Revoir."

Leaving my apartment left me feeling bittersweet. It had been my little getaway and I had worked through many complications in my life there. I had grown and changed as a person on my own there, but I knew I had entered a new stage in my life. A stage where I could continue growing, but this time with my husband at my side supporting me.

"I think she approves," Ben said loading the last box into his jeep.

"She at least reacted better than Cecile did when she came over a few months ago," I said.

"That's because Cecile knows the truth," he pointed out.

I snorted. "I think she'd prefer to believe the lie we came up with to tell my parents."

He got into the drivers side and started up the jeep. "I still feel like we should tell them the truth."

I lifted a brow at him. "They will think we're on drugs if we tell the truth."

"So what is this story that you and Cecile have concocted again?"

"I've told you like five times already."

"My memory isn't what it use to be."

I chuckled. "You can't use your age as an excuse anymore."

He smiled. "I can. I'm ten years older than you."

"Yes, but you're not 40 years older than me. Anyways, let's get back on subject here. You better pay attention this time," I said nudging him. "So, you tried to work with other companies before my parents, but when they looked at you and saw how young you were they would back out before signing the contracts. After that, you decided to take on the guise of an old businessman. What you hadn't anticipated was meeting and falling in love with me. After this, you revealed your secret to me, but made me promise not to expose you until you had saved the company."

He rubbed his chin and nodded. "That's… that's actually not bad. Why didn't we just tell your sister the same?"

"Because she's the one that came up with the lie," I told him.

He snickered. "Your sister is something else."

"She is that. So, you really think they'll believe it?"

"I don't see why they wouldn't, but I expect they'll be pretty pissed at me for the deception."

"I don't think so. You have saved their company. At least that's what I gathered from what Cecile told me."

"You haven't talked to your family in awhile, have you?" he asked concerned as he took my hand in his free one.

I shrugged. "My mother and I have always been at odds and my dad… well, honestly I just couldn't stand hearing the sound of worry in his voice when we talked."

"I'm sorry Emilia. God—" he worried his lip. "Your father probably hates me for stealing you away in the first place." He let out a miserable sigh. "Now he's going to think I deceived him. Maybe we should stick around Montana for awhile and settle things with your family before we go to France."

"No. Nope. We are going and we'll deal with my family when we get back," I protested. "I need time away. We need time away. What we went through was completely messed up. I need a distraction and I know you need it too."

"You're right. It would be better to face them after we've had time to gather ourselves a little more. It has left me on edge and I know it's changed you. You've been... stoic."

"Not all the time. Not when we're in bed."

He chuckled. "Definitely not when we're in bed, but it's been awhile since we've shared a bed and every time we talk on the phone you seem as though you're holding back some part of yourself from me."

"I guess I have been," I admitted as I looked away from him and out the window.

"Talk to me, my love."

After our experience, I wasn't sure if I should open up to Ben about my fears. There were moments where I saw him staring at me with guilt in his eyes and I didn't want to make him feel worse. However, I also felt the days of keeping secrets in our relationship were over.

"I can't walk down the street without wondering if there are others out there like Vivianna," I finally admitted. "Do you think she has any minions that will come after us?"

"I try not to, but I admit sometimes I find myself wondering the same. It's hard to go on as you did before, but if we let the worries and negative possibilities hold us back we'll never live. We don't have to make ourselves ignorant to them, but we need to put our focus on our lives moving forward." Squeezing my hand he added, " _Apres la_ pluie _, le beau temps._ "

"Huh?"

"It basically means after rain comes good weather. We should start seeing the silver lining."

"I think I already do," I sighed and looked back to him. "But I might need you to remind me of that once in awhile."

"I will. You always pull me out of the darkness, Emilia," he said lifting his hand to my cheek and giving me a loving smile before returning his eyes to the road. "I'll always do the same for you."


End file.
